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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Am I being unreasonable for not wanting mil in baby’s life?

4 replies

Olivia1423 · 12/06/2023 16:58

I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. My only issue is with my mil and what her role will be in my child’s life. My husband had quite a traumatic upbringing and to be honest I feel as though he never really had a childhood. His parents split up when he was young and he spent much of his time growing up being expected to act as the other parent by his mother. She has also been emotionally abusive to him growing up and still continues to be. I don’t have much of a relationship with her as I tried to get to know her in the early stages of our relationship but was only ever met with a rude response, so I don’t often see her as haven’t particularly had a need to until this point. My husband wants her involved in our child’s life but the thought of this makes me very upset. The thought of her saying the sort of things she has said to my husband and causing the same kind of insecurities in our child makes me feel protective of him. Not sure if this is just pregnancy hormones making me crazy. Am I being totally unreasonable for not wanting her anywhere near our child?

OP posts:
scrantonelectriccity · 12/06/2023 17:04

If your husband is okay with it then I'd still let her be in your sons life but probably not unsupervised

Sunnydaysareuponus · 12/06/2023 17:07

Suggest he has therapy in the next 10 weeks to find out why he wants her around your dc.. My mil hasn't seen my dc since he was tiny. Now nearly 9.
.She was an awful dm.

And experience of my one awful dm, she was an awful dgm until I went nc. No family is better than an abusive one.

CurlyQueues · 12/06/2023 17:10

It doesn't sound like you've had any good experiences with the woman, why would you want her anywhere near your child. No, you're not being unreasonable.

I'm wondering why your husband wants her involved in your child's life. Could it be that he is worried about her reaction if she is kept away from the LO? Is he happy being in contact with his mother? Or is he in the FOG do you think?

drpet49 · 12/06/2023 19:46

Sunnydaysareuponus · 12/06/2023 17:07

Suggest he has therapy in the next 10 weeks to find out why he wants her around your dc.. My mil hasn't seen my dc since he was tiny. Now nearly 9.
.She was an awful dm.

And experience of my one awful dm, she was an awful dgm until I went nc. No family is better than an abusive one.

This

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