How do you politely say ‘don’t touch my bump’?

[Gdxx]

Im not an overly touchy person, not a hugger etc and I’ve never had any interest in touching anyone else’s bump if they were pregnant. My last pregnancy I managed to avoid anyone touching mine as it was during covid so didn’t ever have to say no! Now expecting number 2 and my MIL took me by surprise the other day when she came to drop something off at the door and mid conversation she just went straight for my bump with both hands. I find myself wearing loose things around her to try to hide it a bit as she stares and comments on it all the time and it makes me feel so self conscious.

She was just awkwardly rubbing my belly as I stood there. She must have seen the look on my face as I was so taken aback that she hadn’t even asked if she could 😳 I still have a few months of this left.. how can I politely say don’t do that without it sounding really rude? I don’t see why you should have to put up with people just touching you whenever they want and making you feel uncomfortable though just because you’re pregnant!

You don’t need to be polite. She certainly isn’t.

I think I’d knock her hand away and say what the hell? She’ll only know it’s inappropriate if she’s told.

Get one of these from Etsy and wear it whenever you visit her.

Take her hand off and say "I don't like that"

She probably had it done to her back in the day. But it doesn't mean you must allow it.

Definitely rub her tummy back.
I'm currently 39 weeks and had a random lady who was getting my click and collect order from Dunelm reach out and touch mine last week
I don't mind people I know toooo much (would prefer if they didn't) but a complete stranger!! I didn't know what to say either

Why be polite? An outraged 'Why are you touching me?' should do it. If not 'Don't put your hands on my body!' is fairly clear.

Or roughly bat her hands away and shout 'Don't touch me!' I'd do that.

“Fuck off”
or
“Oo, that’s intimate…”
I am a touchy feely / huggy person and my dad’s girlfriend (who I don’t like and have never hugged) did it and I just looked her up and down like she was mad.

@ODFOx oh wow 😂 hope everything was okay in the end.. that’s exactly how I felt like I was about to react! Then just stood there stunned

We’re the same, you and I @Gdxx

My first baby was in Covid. Didn’t have to be grabbed by any fucker going. Excellent.

This time round? People think I’m fair game. What the fuck is it about pregnant women that make people think they are available for unsolicited grabbing? I wouldn’t grab their arse if they’d had a prostate issue, or their tits if they’d had a boob job, or their stomach if they had a hernia…

I’m not very polite, though. If a very close friend touches me, I might not mind. But they don’t tend to, they know me and they’d ask. If someone I know grabs me without asking, I ask them what they’re doing and tell them to ask me first. People get quite embarrassed (it’s almost like it’s a primal urge, not that that excuses it) and if a stranger does it, I tell them to take their hands off me immediately and I leap away from them.

I have managed to curb the urge to punch people in the throat though. 👌🏻

I really really don't understand people who do this. I have never felt an urge to touch another woman's bump. I think I would just remove her hand and not say anything tbh.

update: she did it again!! Even after my absolute scowl the last time 🤷🏻‍♀️ why would you?! I batted her hand away, said don’t do that and asked if she’d like it then pretended to rub her belly. She didn’t seem phased at all by that 🙈 She laughed as if that was really weird and said what do you do at the midwife if she has to touch it?

Eh the midwife is a medical professional who asks if she can check if the baby is okay.. not someone who thinks they can just put their hands on your belly whenever they fancy! Why would that be okay without even asking?! 🫣 Your comments gave me the confidence to say no though!

Well done OP. Hopefully she won’t do it again.

"She laughed as if that was really weird and said what do you do at the midwife if she has to touch it? "

Stick your fingers in her mouth with no warning. If she protests, laugh at her and ask how she copes at the dentist.

(I'm joking obviously, but ugh. Why do people think they're entitled to touch anybody? And why the hell do some people try to argue if the person they're touching asks them to stop!?)

@heccc 😂 I have just texted my husband saying a similar thing 😂 most normal people would go ‘omg sorry’ not somehow try to make it like you’re in the wrong for not wanting any part of your body just touched by every man and his dog!

Hopefully she'll think twice next time OP!

Im dreading this kind of shit happening by odd balls in the street, I honestly think pregnancies and babies make some people lose their minds (and I don't mean the pregnant woman!)

Another gripe for me is wow you're so big or words to that effect 🙄 when is it okay to talk to strangers about their size!

The fact she thinks she is comparable to the midwife is nuts. Good for you for standing up for Yourself, OP

@AlwaysFoldingWashing Totally 😂 sorry what benefit am I getting from you getting your (unwanted) hands on me?!

@leopard22 yip its like people can’t contain a single thought that’s in their head when they see a pregnant woman! I think it’s even extremely risk to assume someone is pregnant if you don’t know them but I’ve had so many people comment on it this time and every time I think ‘wow that was brave’ 🙈 There are people who are just that shape 😬

I'm so glad I managed to get through 3 pregnancies without anyone touching my belly (other than DH and existing DC), I would have hated it! I've never touched another woman's bump either, why would anyone want to?!

You could buy this and wear it next time she visit

@justme2022 😂 I honestly don’t think she can be stopped!

@SweetAndSourChick3n I managed to get through the full last one without any attempts then right before he was born my FIL (they’re not together) asked if he could 😬 I felt so awkward and like I couldn’t say no so just had to stand there so uncomfortable until it stopped! I have loads of pregnant friends and it would never occur to me just to put my hands on parts of their body my hands would never usually be touching! Weird!

I know this is an old thread but this happened to me today! I don’t mind someone who I would normally hug touching my bump and my sisters for example who have sort of paused and looked before touching my belly as if to ask permission. But today my mum and sisters were over and I was making lunch for them. My mum comes up behind me and without warning starts rubbing my belly from behind. I don’t mind so much when I’ve stopped to let you but I felt very uncomfortable then

@Ttcdcno1 its very odd isn’t it! I just don’t really understand what people’s thought process is to make it seem like it’s okay to just do it without asking 🙈 I was really blunt with my MIL and she hasn’t done it since but asked how I get a scan if I don’t like people touching it 🤔 as if a medical professional being paid to scan you is somehow equivalent to someone just thinking they’ll inappropriately touch you without asking!

@Gdxx yeah I was not a fan. Like you say they’re there to check baby is ok and to medically advise. I know it’s happening, I know they are going to touch me. Not while I’m trying to make a sandwich in peace though🙈

Forget the polite part of it.

Please don’t, it’s feels weird.
No.
What The Fuck.

take your pick. No one should EVER have to justify not wanting to be touched.