7+5 struggling at work (nursery nurse)

[Astrid101]

Recently found out I’m pregnant, and feeling pretty dreadful during the day. Dizzy, exhausted and really nauseous all day. I feel like I’m being dramatic as I’m so early on, but I’m really struggling to cope at work already. I work in a nursery, it is 9hr shifts, not including commute or securing the building after final child leaves, so most nights I finish work at around 6:15pm after being there from 8:45am. What hasn’t helped is that I’ve also just had to take a few days off for an unrelated chest infection, so currently on antibiotics and recovering from that also. As well as feeling guilty for taking time off. Sickness is unpaid, and unfortunately due to the nature of the job I have found myself catching a lot of viruses since starting there.

The job itself I’m finding so tiring/nausea inducing plus having to vacuum/clean bathrooms/change nappies/prepare food/lift children and also not being able to nip to the loo or grab a snack when I need to due to allergies/ratios etc. I’m just finding it so hard, I usually love my job but at the moment I’m really regretting my choice of work. I really don’t know how I’m going to cope over the next few months.

Not really sure what I want other than a bit of general advice and a hand hold. I’m so tired and constantly feel on the verge of tears.

I would take some sick time off but understand it's hard with no sick pay. How come it's no sick pay, if in the Uk you should get SSP as a minimum. Are you on zero hours contract?

Yes I would be able to claim SSP if off for 5 days, but honestly I can’t afford to take the cut in pay. Obviously if it gets really bad I won’t have a choice which is adding to the worry.

This sounds really tough!

I'm in a similar position, only 6 weeks in but my symptoms have been hell. I'm lucky I can work from home a couple of days a week otherwise don't think I'd be coping at all!

I work in HR and my advice would be (if you're comfortable doing so) to speak to a manager as soon as you can, as they'll legally need to do a risk assessment to check that working conditions are suitable for you during pregnancy. If not, they need to either give you suitable alternative work OR suspend you on full pay. If nothing else, they will hopefully at least be understanding of why you're needing more time off (it's illegal to treat somebody unfairly due to pregnancy so you have that layer of protection if they start being funny with you!)

If you google pregnancy work risk assessment Heath and Safety England has some useful info. Not ideal if you're wanting to wait to tell people, but it's an option.

Hope that helps a little!

True I guess you don't have any choice. You could ask if you could be put on lighter duties if there is any chance of that or perhaps a bit longer lunch break so you can get a decent break. I was the same with my first 2 pregnancies, extreme nausea for most of the pregnancy and like you had no choice but to work as we were broke living in a foreign country. i had to do 12 hour shifts on a busy ward. I have no idea how I survived. In fact my ds2 was born 6 weeks prematurely and I was still working when I went into labour. I wish now I had stopped earlier as it was too much but at the time I just felt like I had no choice. Please make sure you look after yourself .

Have you told someone at your work that you are pregnant? I’m a secondary school teacher so in a similar position to you in that I can’t nip to the loo, take breaks when I need etc but as soon as you make your employer aware of your pregnancy they have to put a risk assessment in place for you which includes regular rest/toilet breaks etc. I’m not sure how it works in your line of work but in teaching they are not allowed to treat pregnancy related sickness as normal sickness, are you part of a union that you can seek advice from?

I felt exactly the same with nausea and exhaustion, dizziness and headaches with 30 kids sat in front of me at 8.20am, the timings of the day are so regimented as I’m sure yours are but the good news is from 10 weeks it got loads better, I’m now 22 weeks and although tired feeling much more like my old self so you hopefully won’t feel this way forever!

I work in preschool, but have had a lot of experience working in nurseries, and I agree it is a really demanding job, especially if you are doing this full time.

I found that if you tell your manager about your pregnancy they should be understanding of your situation. You will need a risk assessment done, which may include more breaks and time to sit, especially if you are feeling dizzy. Small snacks might help you feel better as well, so you will need time for this too. You would not be expected to lift children, especially as you are getting dizzy (not safe for anyone) and as you get bigger it is much harder and that would be covered in the risk assessment.

Pregnancy related illness is not treated as normal sickness, and they are not allowed to make a fuss over any sick leave, this would be discriminatory by law. Being pregnant also lowers your immune system, so they should be more understanding when you get sick (I get sick all the time too, even when I wasn’t pregnant!).

I need to point out that the most important thing right now is your health and that of your baby. No job is worth that. So if you are not feeling well, then you need to speak to your boss candidly and see if they can help in any way, maybe reducing your hours or fitting in more breaks might help?

Good luck with it though, I love working in preschool but I must say it works for me to work less hours (7:30am-3.15pm). I think I wouldn’t enjoy it as much if I was at work all day long.

It's worth remembering that the first trimester can be the worst part - the nausea/sickness/tiredness will start to ease for a lot of women (unfortunately not everyone!) as the placenta takes over (it started improving for me at about 12 weeks). The next month or so is when you are most likely to need time off, so try and think about coping for the next month (or the next day) rather than worrying about the whole pregnancy (easier said than done, I know...)

Thank you all for your replies, some really good advice and it’s so nice to feel heard and understand. I’m hoping that once I’ve finished my antibiotics it will make a positive difference too. I’m going to see how I cope this week and if I’m struggling then speak to my manager, and hope that they’re sympathetic. Management do know that I’m pregnant, as I have to provide medical letters to be given time off to attend prenatal appointments. I think because of the nature of my job there are limited options with extra breaks/reduced hours and responsibilities so it’s tricky. Honestly it is making me rethink my career choices, especially once we have a young baby and if we decide to try again for another in the future. It’s the little things you don’t realise until you’re pregnant.

I felt the same. I worked in a very physical job. Would leave the house at 6.30am and come home after 6pm after being on my feet all day and commuting for 2hours.

I will say - you probably won't feel like this after your first trimester.

Secondly, ask for a risk assessment to be carried out at your work by your manager. I was at risk of exposure to things that could affect my health and danger so that's why I needed one.