Isolated and Depressed

[Welliellie]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and really struggling with being alone. I'm married but my husband works all day 5 days and because he gets home so late, I barely see him before we go to bed because I'm so tired. Also I know he is worried about money and has become really distant emotionally, he's just not really there for me. We got a dog in December because we'd been trying for a baby for a year and basically I had given up so I thought I'd console myself with a dog. Now she's very clingy and I can't leave her alone so I can't go to any classes or groups and I work from home as well so the only time I get out of the house is to walk her andicna go a whole week without seeing anyone but my husband. I have next to no friends and the ones I do have live over two hours away. My family is always busy and don't really feel like much of a support. We've been trying to buy a house but can't find anything suitable and are currently stuck in a tiny flat that barely fits us and the dog, let alone a baby. I feel really alone, all the time, everything just feels so overwhelming and unsolvable and in the last few days I've been feeling really depressed. I just keep thinking it's going to be ten times worse when the baby comes. I don't know what to do.

My daughter joined an app called Peanut when she found out that she was expecting. She has made a couple of contacts and at least one new friend who are all at similar stages in their pregnancy. She’s enjoying the online connection and has met up with one at a local coffee shop.

So sorry to hear how you're feeling 😞 pregnancy can be so isolating I do t think it's spoken about enough.

Have you looked into booking on to a NCT class? I found it really good for meeting people in a similar situation /due around the same date/ live near.

Yes I want to book classes but because of the dog and my husband being at work I can't do anything in the day and then I'm the evenings I'm too tired to go anywhere

It's important you find local support and also alternative help with the dog because there are going to be numerous times when the dog has to be left at home on its own.
Firstly find an on line dog trainer to help you train the dog to be alone at home.
Then find a dog walker so you can go out for the day and have someone else walk the dog or have the dog for a night.
Then find a group of support via the NCT or your local surgery.
Your husband is going to continue to work when you have the baby so you need to be resourceful within yourself. Have you thought about how long your maternity leave will be and if the baby will go to nursery?
The good news is your energy will come back as the pregnancy progresses but you need to start looking for support starting with the dog .

Hi OP, in my experience NCT classes don’t really happen until you’re well into your second trimester, possibly even third. You should hopefully be coming out of the exhaustion of first trimester soon and feel better.

Would you consider rehoming the dog? Baby + dog in a tiny flat = highly stressful situation.

Was the baby planned? Just wondering why your DH has become emotionally distant.