Hyperemesis and Looking After Existing Children

[Tea94]

8w 2d pregnant, and as the title says, I have Hyperemesis... again.

Being sick constantly and if I am not being sick, I am lying on the sofa gagging. Lost weight, dehydrated, no energy at all, you get the point. Midwife is aware.

I am struggling with my children. My 2, usually well-behaved children, have honestly turned into little demons, and I just don't have any fight left in me. They fight from the minute they wake up until the minute they fall asleep. It's like they are taking advantage of me being incapacitated right now.

My home is a mess, I can't walk in my kitchen, I can't even do a load of washing.

I can handle the Hyperemesis, and I know I can get through it, but I can't handle being unable to look after my children and feeling like I am failing the family.

My husband is doing his best to keep everything at home going, but he works 60 hours a week already then proceeds to come home, cook dinner, wash up, do clothes, do a food shop, take the children out, etc. He is basically playing the role of both parents right now.

It feels like everything is falling apart at the seams.

How did others manage Hyperemesis and caring for the children you already have?

Please be kind in your replies! We are really struggling right now.

I’m so sorry to hear you are suffering. To be honest the only way I managed with my little one was help from family and friends and occasionally upping her hours at our very understanding nursery. However I know those aren’t options for everyone.

More screen time than usual helped as well - it’s a case of surviving!

I thought I could manage. Although after 2 yo DS got out of the garden and was bought back from the village by a neighbour, we put him in nursery full time for a few weeks. It used up a lot of savings, but it's all we could do. No nearby family. I realise that this is a lot easier said than done these days.

Thinking of you @Tea94z.

We ended up throwing money at the problem when i was pregnant with dc2 (had hg in first pregnancy all the way through).

Increased dds nursery hours, got an au pair, got a cleaner. Paid for a private hospital appt to get prescribed ondansetron after my second or third hospital admission.

It was tough. My husband took a lot of the slack and my mum helped, but especially in the early months I struggled a lot. I was hospitalised for a while as I was so dehydrated and when I got back home I was very unwell from 12-26 weeks, then ‘just’ nauseous constantly for the rest of the pregnancy.

My DS watched a lot of TV and I spent a lot of time lying on the sofa snoozing ‘watching him play’. I felt like a crap Mum, but what can you do?

Eventually I realised I felt like shit whatever I did, so tried to go out everyday for a short while even if I was stopping to puke in the bushes every 5 minutes . A run-out in the park for my DS was good and I did feel slightly better for some fresh air.

You have my sympathies. I think it’s just a ‘get through it by any means necessary’ situation. It stopped me from having any more kids, though. Never again!

Oh god, it is horrendous. I remember crying with the nausea, crawling round the floor, vomiting into a basin. My 2 year old was distraught. No videos or children's TV in those days either. No online shopping. Poor little soul was so upset and frightened.
My advice would be to throw whatever you can afford at anything or anybody who can help.
I am still traumatised by it all 35 years on.

Do you have family near by that can help? Or friends/neighbours who can take them even just for a couple of hours?

My sister had HG in both pregnancies and her second was particularly horrific - I looked after my 2 year old niece every weekend for 7 or 8 weeks because she couldn't and BIL was working. I would do again in a heartbeat, and would for friends too if they needed it.

Standards around the house can drop, you all just need to be safe and fed. But please do call upon people around you and I hope you feel better soon

I have had several HG pregnancies. And currently having one with 3 kids at home. Basically just counting down the hours until bed time every day. Have you spoken to PSS? A peer supporter can be a massive help especially those that have been in your situation. Best of luck it is horrific but it will end

Sorry to hear you have HG. Please speak to your GP to consider medication. I'm on cyclizine and metroclopamide and it's been life saver. 2nd time HG, they refused to give ondansetron which helped alot last time. 2nd Pregnancy sickness support they amazing and will offer support. All the best x

Our nursery was full, so we couldn’t up her hours.

Lower your standards significantly, my DC watched A LOT of TV - much more than I felt happy with. Lying in bed watching TV, keeping up multi vitamins to ensure her diet didn’t suffer too much. Give yourself some sympathy, it is hell on earth!