Not sure about letting father come to the scan

[bunny2023]

Hi everyone,
I have had a worrying pregnancy so far from a suspected ectopic pregnancy and brown spotting, I have been quite anxious really.
I just had another scan a few days ago with my NHS dating scan on Thursday

I have been alone pretty much throughout the pregnancy, but the father did come to my booking appointment and a scan at 8 weeks.

The relationship has been on/off for years and he has left me few times.
I feel there is no real commitment from him, we dont even live together.

The father had begged me to be with him and was keen to show me he does love me and our baby, but then last Monday whilst I was in hospital for a suspected UTI he had gone to his friends birthday party and never answered his phone until Tuesday and claimed he "had left it at home".

Then again yesterday after promising not to go clubbing he broke his promise and went clubbing.

I dont feel as if he has any rights coming to the scan or any more appointments as he has not been there for me and he does the things mentioned above all the time to me.

I have been alone looking after myself without any support from him, and I dont think its fair that he gets to come to all the good bits but when I need him he is not there.

Am I being unfair by telling him not to come to the scan on Thursday?

I dont really love him anymore, and would rather just be alone now as I have been.

Advice and thoughts appreciated.
Many thanks x

No you are not being unfair at all.
This is your personal, private medical care and it’s your decision whether you want to take anyone with you for support.

It’s not a spectator sport for someone else to have the “experience”.

Of course he has no right to come to the scan! He's not your partner, not committed, and not stepping up.
You have every right to keep him at whatever distance you like OP. Good luck with everything. Just take care of yourself and the baby.

This. Take a friend.

it’s stress you don’t need or want

I was going to say take your mum or dad with you for you appointment. It’s a special moment he can always go to the twenty week scan if things improve. Might reach him a lesson about stepping up!

First and foremost the scan is a medical appointment. I’m very much in the nobody has the right to attend your medical appointments unless you want them there camp.

Thanks guys!
Yes I do feel if he is a spectator, he really does stress me out.

At my booking appointment he kept butting in and I felt as if I couldnt even discuss the things I wanted with the midwife.

He really does need to step up, I have just had to block his number.

Xxx

Please give your baby YOUR surname and don't put this unreliable loser on the BC. He doesn't deserve to come to your medical appointments and he certainly doesn't deserve parental responsibility.

If he pulls the 'traditional' line, laugh in his face. I'll help.