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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant/child during university

8 replies

ssxx · 24/05/2023 19:14

I’m 20 years old and i’m starting university in September to do nursing. I have recently found out i’m pregnant with my long-term boyfriend and we are both excited.

After telling my parents the reaction wasn’t good and we’re basically telling me how i’m not going to achieve anything and i’ve threw my life away. I’ve always been extremely career focused so the thought of this and having no prospects terrifies me but I really think it’s possible.

Or are me and my boyfriend being delusional and in la la lane thinking we can still get careers with a baby

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
JumbledE · 24/05/2023 19:43

Congratulations! 🤍

No of course you are not delusional, plenty of people have careers and children; of course that would be easier for you if your family was more supportive and encouraging!

VivaVivaa · 24/05/2023 19:58

Completing university (especially a degree like nursing, with lots of shift patterns and travelling to different placements) is very difficult with a baby. Not impossible, but very difficult. Both practically and financially, especially if you don’t have parental support.

I think the main things you need to consider is where you will live, who will look after your baby when you are away on placement and how you will afford to pay for childcare if family aren’t having the baby (assuming your boyfriend is also studying or going out to work). You should also contact the university about time out of training as soon as possible - I presume you hope to start your degree then have maternity leave?

I believe you are entitled to a training grant (which is a few thousand a year I think) and an an additional grant for health care students with dependents (another couple of grand per year) on top of your student loan. Unless your boyfriend is earning a good income though, it’ll be very, very difficult to stretch that to rent, living costs and childcare. The only health care graduates I’ve known who’ve made university work with a baby do so by relying on family for nearly all of the childcare.

I think you need to consider all eventualities as well. Assuming your boyfriend doesn’t work shift patterns and isn’t doing a degree similar to nursing, he will have to step up to a lot of childcare while you are on shift. He may be excited now but regularly solo parenting is hard. If you and your boyfriend were to split up how would you manage as a single parent? You have little protection currently and, if he is also a student, he won’t be under any obligation to support you financially.

Personally, I think you’d be more sensible doing yore degree, getting a job and than starting a family. But if having the baby is none negotiable, you need to be seriously considering and discussing with your bf, his parents and your parents how you will make this work, financially and practically.

Ttcmumma · 24/05/2023 20:11

I started my own business at 21 right before finding out I was pregnant, used my pregnancy to push myself to make my business as successful as possible. Now the bread winner of the house with a nearly 5 year old 😊 you can do it! My dad doubted me too but I proved him wrong.

CuteAsDuck · 24/05/2023 20:22

Congratulations OP.

I had my eldest the summer between 2nd and 3rd year of my degree.

It was difficult to juggle everything but it's achievable and having a baby didn't stop me from completing my degree.

I'm also in a profession that required block placements so understand fully the juggle it can be with childcare.

It definitely didn't impact at all on my ability to get started in my career post qualifying either.

2021mumma · 24/05/2023 20:29

You can do it! It’s hardwork but if your determined to get your degree you will.

I did the same, good luck

ssxx · 24/05/2023 21:36

What degree did you do? How did you manage it all xx

OP posts:
2021mumma · 25/05/2023 19:39

Business

have a look at the hours involved in nursing I believe they are a lot including working in hospitals etc

FirstMondayInMay · 25/05/2023 20:01

I’m doing my paramedic degree at the min, so I had to take a break in my studies as the uni won’t allow you on placement when pregnant due to health and safety.

depending on when you’re due, I’d defer for a year. It might be different with nursing but our placements don’t take into consideration having children and will still rota you as normal, for nights, weekends etc

if you’re entitled to the 5k NHS bursary, you’ll get an extra 2k per year for help with child care etc x

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