Disgust at pregnancy - has anyone experienced this?

[tenco]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant. I really want to have a baby. But I've always found pregnant women disgusting. I can't look at pictures of their bellies. I'm scared about growing one, and I'm freaked out at the idea of the baby moving inside me. I've had ultrasounds and I know I'm supposed to feel bonded but I just feel like it is gross and alien. Does anyone know what the hell this is? Will I get over it as things progress? It's the same for breastfeeding - I find it really gross and offputting to imagine.

Have you spoken to your midwife about this? They may be able to put you forward for something like counselling to help with these fears. Breastfeeding is easy to overcome as you can just bottle feed but the pregnancy fear needs addressing so you can try to bond with baby

I agree with PP to speak to your midwife but I wanted to reassure you that I've heard this exact same thing from friends, it is a thing and you're not alone in feeling it.
Breastfeeding is odd, if it's not for you don't feel pressured into doing it. Do you have fears around jusy pregnancy or birth aswell?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I have definitely heard this before. My friend said she hated being pregnant, felt like an alien was inside her taking over her body! She didn't have any counselling or anything, as far as I know- and now has 3 lovely little aliens and is a brilliant Mum!
As others have said, talk to the midwife/gp.. I bet it's more common than we realise. There might be some techniques to help you cope with these deelings/changing body etc..
I'm no expert, but I reckon the first step and best step is recognising this is how you feel- acknowledging it and talking about it. It might never go away, but the main thing is you are happy about your pregnancy, your baby is wanted and loved. 9 months will fly- you're a third of the way there already!

Yup. Felt exactly this at 12 weeks. I think it’s normal! Especially where we don’t see that much organancy any more really in our society. I was debating terminating so tricky time.
After a few more weeks I began to feel..I dunno, a sort of peace and specialness? Still felt knackered and occasionally hormonal and wierd, but it began to have a kind of strength.
i later had hypnosis, not in a group, but one to one, which meant I really enjoyed the whole birth thing. Recommend this.

I felt like you prior to pregnancy. In particular the thought of hair and nails growing inside me felt too much to actually acknowledge as possible.

However, the second I found out I was pregnant it disappeared, but I appreciate that we had struggled and didn't think we would be able to have a baby at all, so by that point i was just so grateful I never gave it much more thought and just focused on a healthy baby at the end.

I hope you get some support and can switch too.

Not sure about pregnancy, but I was not happy with the idea of breastfeeding at all. I did give it a go, and did feed three babies for a few years in total, so how you feel now may change. Or it may not, which is fine!

I experienced it to a point. I didn't like my belly and couldn't wait to get my normal body back. I was ok with it myself but almost felt embarrassed in public/work for some reason. I have very few pics of me with a bump. Breastfeeding didn't seem natural to me either - I did try it but my milk didn't come in with my first which I was almost relieved about but also felt guilty about, I couldn't face trying it for my second. It's given me a real aversion to my boobs being touched 5 years on.

It's not prevented me bonding at all with my babies, we're really close and have been since birth. It just felt like being PG was something to tolerate to get me to the end point.

If you're worried though it's worth mentioning to your MW.

Thank you all for these replies. It's good to know others have had this and had successful pregnancies. For some reason I'm not as scared about the birth, I'm looking forward to getting it over with, but I hate medical stuff so if they need to do needles or an IV that will be very unpleasant.

I haven't felt bonded really til maybe 28 weeks onwards when it starts to get really obvious you have a baby moving in there. but watching scans etc have always been a bit odd like I was just looking at someone else's baby.
Its different when they're out and you start to get to know this actual new person.

Not everyone loves being pregnant op and this needs to be talked about more! I hated the feeling that my body wasn't my own and didn't even contemplate breast feeding as a result. I bonded with my babies just fine though , so please dont worry too much , and do have a chat with your midwife.

I have to be honest, my first reaction to your OP was to think you that you need to grow up! This is real. You're going to be a mother!

Though I do have irrational phobias all of my own which no matter how hard I try to overcome them, they still consume me. Perhaps watching a few in depth documentaries on pregnancy & birth may help you to see the more human side of it?

Just remember - we were ALL a pregnancy once! It's not a science experiment or the latest trend. It's quite literally growing your child!!

I didn't mean that to sound mocking or offensive by the way, just straight to the point

i suspect you may have experienced something when you were very young that's created a disgust association...it may or may not change but it might be an idea to ask your midwife what she'd recommend. I developed a disgust response to breast feeding after having 2 bad hospital stay experiences and bad PND both times...its not a nice feeling as i'd always wanted to BF but seeing other women do it made me feel physically sick and feeding my baby wasn't a bonding experience, which in turn worsened the PND. Giving birth and having a young baby is a very visceral experience so if it doesn't improve might be worth trying something like hypnosis to change your experience of it.

Thanks again. I just booked a hypnotherapist based on these recommendations.

That’s great! I found hypnosis super amazing. 6 weeks of an hour a week. He did time dilation, so the time the contractions were seemed quick, and the time between them long. I walked into hospital and the nurse was amazed that I was already 10 cm. And not bothered.
the best thing was being able to relax and really enjoy the experience. I still needed gas. But it’s wierd, I was somewhere on a beach, sort of watching and feeling my body do these amazing things.
i don’t know what he did as such, but I do remember him asking me to tell a story, my story involved a big dragon scratching my stomach with its claws and he asked me about the grab on and why it would do that, and I realised he was trying to help and was a kind dragon. I know, mad, but it totally worked. It should be prescribed!
enjoy your pregnancy! It’s so unique and amazing that we can do this stuff!
xx

I felt like this before pregnancy (since I was a teenager I had a phobia of pregnancy and childbirth). In my 20s I got pregnant and felt like this and had an abortion. Now at 31 I very much feel the baby is where they're meant to be and I feel very at peace with it. I totally didn't expect this but my fear of pregnancy was clashing with my desire to have a child -- which wasn't intense but there.

I read The Book You Wish Your Parents Read by Philippa Perry last year and one thing she talks about is the importance of coming to think of this human inside of you not as an alien/parasite. I think it helps to remember you wanted this baby and to think we were all babies in the womb once, most of us hopefully wanted and not parasites but someone who we want to meet.

Ah, I also got pregnant young (as a teenager) and had an abortion. I don't know if I had the phobia before then, but the disgust was one of the reasons I ended it. I'll check out this book!

Does sound a bit out of the usual to me. I was thrilled to have a preggo belly and so excited to breastfeed.

I wonder if something in the past has caused these feelings, would be good to explore more before baby is here