stuck with my in laws.

[justhadenoughx]

hi
ive tried really hard to put my baby into a routine from 6 months and i’ve decided to go back once my baby turned 9 months. my in laws said they will look after her. i was hesitant at first but they said everything will be fine. my original plan was to get my mum to look after my little one. the day i went to work and every single day after that when i’ve gone to work they’ve been going out with my baby and doing whatever according to their own times. ive told them before hand that she has a set routine and set times when she does things and if anything is out of place then it will sort of disrupt that and they said don’t worry it’s fine we’ve got everything sorted. ive only been at work for one week and her routine is everywhere! she’s not having milk or any of her naps and is very fussy which is very unlike her. whenever i come home from work i don’t even get two minutes with her because my SIL jumps on her like she hasn’t seen her all day when she has spent all day with her. i mean i am only her mother!! plus on my days off if i go out with my baby they call me saying hurry up and come back we want to see our granddaughter/niece. it’s so overbearing i think i might just lose it. they are over obsessed and think it’s fine. it’s my chance to be a mother not them.

Maybe she is not having naps & being fussy because she is trying to get used to you being at work instead of there all day? it is only early days.
If you don’t like the way your IL’s take care of her then you would be best to put her into nursery or with a childminder or something. I’m assuming you are living with them? Is moving out anytime soon on the cards?

It's tricky when you aren't using paid childcare OP, they are going to do what's easiest for them. Is nursery an option?

It is the problem when you are using free care ......have you tried saying I'm really missing my baby so want some time with her/him when I'm home.

I think you need to suck up the change of routine if you've got free childcare and just adapt the best you can. Is childminder/nursery an option if you're really not happy?

You're entitled to time with your DD after work though, you might need to bite the bullet and say something about that.

Are you the OP who is living with her ILs and the SIL who likes to act as if your baby is her baby?

A nursery isn’t going to work to your routine either so I think you need to let that go. They aren’t unreasonable to go out and about and do things in their timings.
The reality is eating/naps etc will be all over the place for a while due to her settling. If she’s used to you putting her down for naps then it’s going to take a few weeks for her to get used to who’s looking after her.

I think as long as your child's needs are being met - she's being fed, watered, rested and changed then think yourself lucky you have free childcare