husband at first midwife appointment?

[ai38]

I have my first appointment at the hospital tomorrow. It's my first pregnancy and we are new in the country, so not so rue what to expect. Is it a good idea for my husband to come with me to this appointment or will it be odd? I was thinking if they ask me any questions about his family history I don't know anything, but again I am not sure if there will be any such questions.

My husband came to my first appointment wi to me for both babies. I saw women attending with partners (or could have been friends I guess) and alone. They may need to speak to you alone at some point for a safeguarding question. I don’t remember them asking him much but it’s nice to have someone there especially as they can give you lots of information.

Assuming it's the booking in appointment, it's not very interesting. You'd most likely know the answer to any of the important medical history questions as it's fairly big stuff and only relating to immediate family (eg. you probably know if his siblings have any serious genetic conditions or if his parents died of X disease!). They do also ask you about domestic violence, etc. DH didn't come with me to either but my midwife with my first said that if he had he would have been asked to leave the room for a period while they asked some of those questions.

So in short, if he really wants to go/you want him to come then there's no real harm, but I don't think there's much to be gained from it personally. It was just lots of medical questions, filling in stuff on computer and getting some leaflets. Plus personally I found getting to know my community midwife one to one was important to me.

If it’s the booking appointment, there’s not really anything he needs to attend for.

As PP said; they’ll be sent out of the room for the safeguarding questions

Never took my DH and in the waiting room maybe 2 men waiting with approx 18 women (so not very common). Unless of course you need help taking notes or taking on board info. If the situation was reversed I would need to go to support my DH as he’s not very good in medical situations.

They will ask questions about family history, at least in terms of ethnicity for determining risk of certain complications. My DH has quite a complicated family history so I was glad he was there the first time to answer for himself!

My husband came to all of my appointments for my first child and none for my second child.

I didn't think anything of it until I saw my notes mentioned that I came alone.

I had my first baby during covid so partners weren’t allowed. Pregnant again now and I wouldn’t take my partner to any appointments except scans.

The booking appointment is a bit of a non event. No real reason for him to be there it's just height, weight, bloods, and a long list of questions

Really no need for him to attend any of the appointments, they are very uninteresting for anyone other than the mother.

I took mine, and the midwife did ask questions about his family’s medical history and my mother in law’s experiences of giving birth. So it was useful for that, and plus he is better at remembering things than I am so I think of him as a back up brain!

When the midwife wanted a urine sample she came with me to die me the bathroom and asked me if everything was ok at home then.

didn't think anything of it until I saw my notes mentioned that I came alone

I think it's usual for notes to record who was present at the appointment.

The midwife gave my DH quite a stern talking-to regarding how nicely pregnant ladies need to be treated (foot rubs, drinks bringing), so that was good 😁

I wondered about taking mine but it’s better not to. It’s a long appointment that asks you a lot of personal and health questions. They want to check there’s no DV so want to ask you about your partner when he’s not there. They ask about any history of depression on both sides. It’s not the kind of thing where he will miss out by being there. Congratulations and best wishes for your pregnancy.