What to do in this situation? Reduced movements

[cinnamonbiscuit]

Hi all. I’m 27 weeks with baby no2, and I’ve got an anterior placenta this time. I’m kind of expecting to experience reduced movements at some point as I think baby sometimes moves completely behind the placenta still.

My DH works nights and we have a 2 year old DD. I just brought up the hypothetical of what do we do if I have reduced movements and feel I need to be seen in the middle of the night, and he assumed I’d be able to just take our toddler DD to maternity assessment with me. Am I right in saying that’s just not an option? I told him it wouldn’t be possible for me to take her there because it’s not allowed- and that’s aside from the fact I’d be lugging a toddler into hospital potentially in the middle of the night!

What do people do in this situation? Our nearest family aren’t particularly near. We don’t have any friends close by either who could help.

Im just interested to hear what anyone else has done in this scenario. I remember having to go in at night with reduced movements once in my first pregnancy, but it was on my due date so DH did come home from work. I suppose I could wait till the morning but not ideal if baby requires monitoring etc.

I would imagine you would notice reduced movement before the middle of the night. You won’t be able to take children into the hospital, with my second I wasn’t even allowed to take DP in with me to be monitored, he had to wait in the car.

@PickledScrump yes I’m aware I’m not allowed! And I’m used to not being able to take DH, I always go in alone. I would say it’s just as likely that reduced movements would become an issue at night, as that’s exactly what happened in my first pregnancy. I spent a few hours in the early evening doing cold drink/lay on side and then eventually had to phone in at 11pm because nothing had happened.

TBH I would probably end up just not going in, but I doubt they’d be very happy about it.

@cinnamonbiscuit they don’t recommend doing the cold drink thing anymore. They say if you were feeling ill and someone threw cold water on you it would make you move but wouldn’t mean you were ok. If you were having reduced movement then you’d either drive yourself or get your partner to drive you to get checked. Better to have to wake up your little one and have them sit in the car to make sure everything is ok then to leave it until morning and have left it too late.

I've got a 15 month old and had to go in today, not allowed to take her in with me. Had no one else able to have her so dp had to come home from work. I don't see why that would really need to be any different just because your dp works nights. If anything I think it's more necessary that he comes home as you're obviously less able to find alternative childcare in the middle of the night! It's really inconvenient (for both of us) and I felt very guilty getting dp to leave work (especially knowing that everything's most likely okay!) but needs must 🤷‍♀️ neither one of us would forgive ourselves if something was wrong and we missed it because I didn't ask him/he didn't want to come home from work. I'd think going forward that the best thing to do would ideally be to go in earlier in the day if you've any concerns at all so it's a more convenient time, but if you're worried at night then you're worried at night and that's when you need to go in. Wishing you a healthy happy pregnancy 😊

@PickledScrump thats odd, my midwife mentioned I should do this a few weeks ago when she was talking about watching for movements! Maybe she’s not with the times! But this was three years ago that I’m talking about anyway.

I don’t actually drive, but obviously couldn’t leave her in the car alone so that wouldn’t help, I’d be getting a taxi in any scenario if DH wasn’t there. I’m probably worrying about something that just isn’t going to happen tbh! I will just need to put my foot down before he goes to work 😅

@BelleSauvage9 you’re totally right, it shouldn’t be any different, but it’s difficult to get my DH to see it that way. I think in the actual situation if I was phoning him in a panic he would just come home, but he does a job where he can’t sometimes leave because it’s putting others at risk, and also sometimes he travels eg 60 miles away so could take him hours to get back. I would obviously do my best to put things in motion before he left, and I suppose at the other end I could just wait until he gets home at 6am. I’m worrying about a very specific scenario where I suddenly am worried and need to go in around midnight, and I think I’m only worrying about it because it happened to me before!

I hope everything was ok when you went in today?

In your speciation scenario, call the hospital and explain the situation. DH is unreachable for hours, you have no local support etc.

Maybe time to befriend the neighbours? I don't know ours well but I'd sit downstairs whilst their kid slept in this scenario

What’s your plan for when you go into labour though? If you needed to go to the hospital while your DH was at work what are you planning to do at that point?
Surely it’s similar.

If it’s an emergency and you need to go to hospital for whatever reason your DH will just have to leave work. He has annual leave, he will have dependants leave etc. He will just have to deal with it and leave work. Plenty of people have to leave work in a family emergency.

With reduced movements is unlikely to be an emergency scenario where you need to leave immediately. When I called about reduced movements 2 year ago I was told to lie in a quite room, have something sugary, give it 30mins-1hr and then come in.

There was a woman with a toddler when I was on our MAU. The staff were lovely about it, and put her straight into a cubicle, I assume so she could at least have a contained space for the child.

Ask your midwife. There must be provision for eg single mums, and in an emergency this could possibly be extended to you?

Thanks for the helpful suggestions! @SleepingStandingUp this is a good idea, we are about to move house, hope the new neighbours will be nice!

@QueenOfWeeds that’s nice to hear, obviously I wouldn’t just turn up with my DD but good to know that others have managed under similar circumstances!

@Sissynova when I go into labour he will obviously come home as quickly as he can and DD will go to a grandparent. I gave birth to DD during covid, when I woke with bleeding in the night he came straight home and took me in and then I was induced. I suppose if something similar happens again at night and he is genuinely unable to get home swiftly, my parents would help us. I know people have to leave work in emergencies all the time, he is just sometimes stuck miles away until someone can relieve him due to safety measures he has to follow at work. That would be extremely bad luck though, and family would definitely step in. Also I think his colleagues would do their absolute best to get him out of there. I suppose I was more thinking about a reduced movements scenario where you are in two minds about whether or not you need to be seen, but ultimately decide you have to get baby checked just to be safe. I think I’m probably worrying too much, we will sort it if it happens one way or another.

I rammed my bump really hard when pushing DS1 uphill in the pram and hit a lamppost...

Called the midwife who told me to come in and bring nearly 2 year old DS1. They had me hooked up for monitoring with DS1 sitting beside me or on the floor until someone could collect him. Fortunately DS1 was a calm child and happy to play with the (admittedly very shiny) stickers that I grabbed. This was pre Covid but one would hope that if they were worried about you this would still apply

I think if you were in the situation of reduced movement, and no childcare, then the hospital would make allowances. They are not going to risk your babies life because you can't get childcare.

I had to get early blood tests in this pregnancy and I took two of my children with me as I had no childcare. Previous to that in my other pregnancy I took my child in after a car accident (minor) as they wanted to monitor baby because of seltbelt bruising I had.

You need to find out the exact situation at your hospital. My hospital allows visitors even during monitoring and they don't mind if that happens to be a toddler.