Second pregnancy following traumatic birth with DC1 - how did you do it?

[Ginnyfromtheblock]

I'm looking for advice from those who had a traumatic birth with DC1 and went on to get pregnant a second time round? How long did you wait to conceive? What steps did you take to recover from the trauma?

I am 8 weeks postpartum and struggling with flashbacks, nightmares and anxiety. I attended my first therapy session yesterday but I've gone from being someone who wanted a big family (~4 children) to trying to accept that I might have 1 child. I am terrified at the thought of even having sex.. being in a clinical setting makes me feel very anxious and scared where previously I was very proactive with all things health.

I would love some advice from people who have managed to recover from their trauma successfully as right now, I am almost (unhappily) decided that I won't have another child.

I haven't been through this personally, but have you looked into help for example a birth debrief with the hospital to understand what happened and likelihood of happening again? You've made an amazing step of getting yourself into therapy.

Remember you're only 8 weeks post partum. You're still in 4th trimester. Many women, even with non-traumatic births, have not had sex again yet! A very large number are thinking no way in fuck am I going through that again, even without your added trauma. Give it time. You were pregnant for 10 months, you need at least that to recover. Take the second baby question off the table for now and focus on enjoying your DC1 and your recovery.

Was your traumatic birth vaginal? Remember if it was vaginal you never have to go through that again. You could choose an elective C-section. You are in control, you have a choice. You can choose not to have more children. You can choose to have more children but to give birth in a different way.