Hospitalisation in 3rd trimester - any advice?

[EffiePerine]

Just found out that a friend has been in hospital for a few weeks and is likely to be staying there until the baby arrives - all a bit scary but prognosis improving daily. For those of you who have experienced prolonged hospital stays, any advice on how friends can help?

If she's allowed, take her down to the hospital coffee shop for a change of scenery, or go on a walk round the hospital corridors if she's not feeling like eating

Take her some yummy snacks as hospital food is sooo unbearably awful that she'll probably cry with gratitude!

Ask her if there are any "home" jobs that you can help with, she might just want to check her bank statements or something- when you're stuck inside (sounds like prison) it's so easy to get detached from the real world. And bring her lots of juicy gossip from home

You sound like a lovely friend I'm sure she'll really apreciate you wanting to cheer her up.

She might well be on bed rest. This happened to two friends of ours and it drove them both nuts! Visits were very much appreciated, as were books/magazines/puzzles if she's into them and couldn't agree more that the hospital food is dreadful. A trip to Marks and Spencer would be very much appreciated I'm sure.

Have taken in some food and reading material - she is also being well supplied by partner and family . Not on bed rest but they're keepingher in because she could be rushed in to theatre at any minute . Taking her down to the coffee shop a good idea...

Ask if there is anything you can do to help get home sorted for when she returns. She may not have had chance to finish her shopping or organising for the baby or getting the house ready and may be fretting about that.

I had a similar situation with a friend (fortunately she improved and they released her) and a good suggestion from somebody on here was to take in a portable DVD player with headphones if you have one, plus a whole load of box set DVDs.

Take her some face masks/ body scrubs/manicure stuff - doing ful on beauty routines uses up lots of time, makes you feel as if you are doing something good for yourself and is possily her last chance to look after herslef for a bit.

Decent pillows/blanket from home make a huge difference to the comfort of the bed.

pampering stuff v good plan - she has a side room with ensuite

I don't think she wants to get a lot of baby stuff before the baby arrives, as she's obvioulsy worried about all the things that could go wrong

I spent five weeks in hospital before the birth of my twins as I had placenta praevia and recurrant (and from nowhere) bleeds. It's not an overstatement to say that I nearly went mad. People fall over themselves to tell you "you're in the best place" but it's scant consolation when you're lonely, bored, worried about the pregnancy, and having to deal with hospital food and sleeping in an uncomfortable hospital bed.

I wish I'd had a friend like you. All my girlfriends worked and so day to day I saw no one but the occasional midwife taking blood pressure and sporadic consultants. It was mind-numbingly boring and made for a very long day. A highlight was washing my hair as I knew I could waste a couple of hours doing it (leaving the conditioner in for half an hour, taking ages to blow dry, etc.).

AS someone else has mentioned, turning up and taking her out for coffee is a fab idea. The hospital will probably have a coffee shop. Equally, take her for a walk around the hospital (it will kill half an hour, which is not insignificant in a looooooooong day). My Mother-in-Law visited and brought me a back catalogue of really obscure magazines that I'd never normally read (Good Housekeeping, She, Delicious - all food and 'older' stuff) but it was great as I'd read every other magazine on the planet. Equally, maybe a quiz or crossword book or a really trashy chick-lit book or two. I also eventually got hold of a small, portable TV and headphones and so could at least watch TV when I was crashingly bored.

The best day I had was when a girlfriend took an afternoon off work and came with a thermos of home-made soup and nice bread (wrapped in tinfoil). She brought PROPER bowls and I had the first decent meal I'd had in weeks. We then went to the coffee shop (just so I could escape the ward) and then she gave me a (really bad!!!) manicure afterwards. It doesn't sound much but it really helped. What you miss is the every day. You feel as if the whole world is getting on with life without you and no one cares that you're stuck in hospital going slightly mad.

I found it very stressful and upsetting and so any help you can give her will be hugely appreciated. As I've said before, you sound a great friend.

Good luck to your friend.
Kx

Thanks Kits, sounds like a v similar situation (only she isn't carrying twins). She'a managing incredibly well - I was only in hospital for 2 days with DS and that nearly drove me mad! She does have family who can come during the day which is a big help. I work so am only free evenings.

The different mags is a good plan - I find the non-fashion-and-celeb ones a far more restful read. Though the People's Friend might be a step too far

i was in for 5 weeks before dd2 was born - like kits i can assure you it was mindnumbing. weekends were the worst - i sort of got into a routine during the week but was just thrown at the weekends for some reason. i lived for visiting hours - although i did have my own room so was allowed sneaky visits outside of these times. i echo magazines, food, books - although tbh by the end i didn't want to look at another edition of Hello. also my skin became horribly dry - no fresh air and warm hospital environment made it awful - and a lovely friend brought me in some fab moisturiser. It's a tough time - i was bleeding constantly, on and off contractions and eventually gave birth at 27 weeks - so added to everything else is the strss of why you're there in the first place. good luck to your friend.

Thanks babyjamas: sorry you had such a tough time. She's got past 33 weeks which is great

Am also feeling strangely guilty for having a completely problems-free pg and birth - I really have no idea about this stuff.

She'd had the baby! 33 weeks and a bit. Photos lovely - waiting to hear how mother and baby are