Reduced movement triage experience

[Laro2323]

Hi all

I'm currently 24 weeks with our first and had a really upsetting experience last night in triage after I went in worried about reduced movements. I'm keen to hear others thoughts - but please be kind as I'm incredibly anxious after 2 previous losses and a struggle with PTSD last year.

I've been feeling movement for a few weeks now and they had gotten noticeably bigger and more frequent the last few days. Then yesterday was a really quiet day and I got myself into a spin of worrying as I hadn't felt anything all afternoon and evening. I battled with myself about whether to call, not wanting to waste time and reading that movements have no pattern until at least 28 weeks but then also reading (on reputable websites - NHS and Tommy's) that ANY change in movement you should go in straight away. I eventually decided to do that.

It was late by this point so I had to go via the delivery suite which offer the out of hours triage. Before I go into this, I want to be clear that I work in a busy NHS paediatric service myself as a psychologist and am fully aware of and experiencing the pressures as a clinician at the moment.

The midwife I saw made me feel like I was completely wasting her time. She started by saying 'well you're far too early for pattern of movements' - which yes I know but EVERYWHERE you read tells you go in if you notice ANY changes regardless of how far along you are. She barely looked at me, didn't tell me what she was doing, took a good 2 minutes to find the heartbeat and then only listened to it for a maximum of 10 seconds. I thought it sounded slower than usual but darent question it - I just asked if everything was ok and she snapped back at me 'well you heard the heartbeat and I felt a kick so yes'. And that was it. I was sent home.

I felt more upset afterwards than I did going in. I've never not had a midwife listen to the heartbeat properly ( i.e. 1 full minute of counting the beat ) and I just feel like I was not important enough to properly assess.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking this wasn't a good experience? I'm very aware that as a psychologist I put a big emphasis on patient centred care and the relationship but she didn't even introduce herself or tell me her name!

Grateful for others thoughts and whether I should still be going in to get checked if I'm worried before I reach 28 weeks?

Thanks so much in advance - please be kind!

Some professionals are like that. What they should be (and many are) is understanding and reassuring, even if they think you're just anxious. Especially after two losses, they should understand your need for reassurance.

You’re totally right and made a good decision to go in.

Continue to advocate loudly for yourself and your baby. Sadly, some midwives are like this and it’s worth knowing it now so you can be prepared to expect some midwives to be insensitive and uncaring at the birth and afterwards. Stick up for yourself and don’t care about being liked or being seen to be difficult- it’s the only way to make sure you get the care you both need.

(I have had 4 children, 1 miscarriage. Had some fantastic care and some that was not as it should have been.)

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience and I would of felt the exact same! I went in even earlier at 18/19 weeks and they couldn't of been lovelier. Took a couple of minutes and then listened in for a minute and then took my pulse just to make sure it was the baby she heard and not my heartbeat!

Please don't be discouraged to go in and get checked if your gut tells you something isn't quite right! The chances are next time you will have a lovely midwife who isn't wrongly taking out her bad/busy day on an anxious expectant Mum who just wants some reassurance! X

You are right to feel concerned and the midwife shouldn't of made you feel like you were wasting her time.
I've had 3 babies and often hours and hours went by without noticing even a flutter, baby could be facing inwards or just sleeping. I always found laying on my side helped and was the position I felt most movements. Don't doubt yourself and go in. I've also had private scans when I've been worried - go for a 4D scan and have some reassurance

It wasn't a great experience, but they are incredibly busy, and you need to heed your hospitals advice about patterns before 28 weeks because I promise you will drive yourself mad 💐

If you need to reassure yourself drink a sugary drink, lay down and do some deep breathing for 5-10 minutes. Not only will this calm you down but it's very likely you will feel baby moving.

I asked my midwife what to do when I was before 28 weeks and movement changed and she said to definitely call if it felt different for your baby, so I would of done the same as you! Sorry you had a rubbish experience, I also hate phoning triage so I know how you feel!

I'm a retired midwife, OP, and there are plenty of rude, dismissive midwives employed. This is unfortunate.
I'm really sorry you had a very negative experience yesterday.
I would write to the senior midwife and tell her what happened to you. It's unacceptable and that midwife needs to be told this.
Years ago, when I was pregnant, I complained about my care and the attitude of two particular midwives.
Nothing will improve if patients don't let managers know.
All the best to you.

I could have written this myself.. went in at 24/40 (third baby and it literally says on my notes to contact them if you don’t feel baby move by 24 weeks) as I hadn’t felt baby move at all by this point and had the most dismissive midwife that listened for less than 10 seconds and said ‘see, all fine’. When I asked at what point I should contact them again if I still hadn’t felt anything her reply was ‘how long is a piece of string’. Fortunately, in 3 pregnancies she’s the only midwife I’ve had a bad experience with!

Do not let one negative health care professional stop you from seeking reassurance at any point in your pregnancy. I’ve heard from multiple midwives that they’d rather I rang in every single day then sat at home worrying about bothering them and something was wrong.

I’m a paediatric nurse and mothers instinct and concern is more than enough for me to be concerned.. even if everything else seems okay!

Also, echo what others have said.. I’m 39/40 now and this baby will go for hours with 0 movements.. as soon as I lay on my left side he has a dance party! You will learn what’s normal for your baby and hopefully that in itself should give you so much reassurance.

Thank you all so much for your lovely, supportive replies. I've spoken to my community midwife and she was also shocked and very apologetic so hopefully it was a one off bad experience.

I fully appreciate the stresses of the NHS right now as I work in the system myself, but I would never let that compromise my interactions with patients at some of the most vulnerable and frightening times of their lives. I'm glad the majority on here could share my perspective!

I always found if I drank some ice cold coke, lay still and waited, baby would do a little dance!

Sorry about your experience OP, and don't let it put you off getting checked again if needed. You're being a great advocate for your little one.

Hi OP - I had a very similar situation to yours, I'm currently 24+6 and went to maternity triage a few days ago when I felt I had reduced movements. Luckily the midwife I saw was lovely and did not make me feel like I wasting her time, even though she did explain that it's usual for there not to be any pattern until 28 weeks so not to worry too much at this stage if you have a day where the baby is less active. She took the time to properly listen for the heartbeat and answer any questions we had. I'm so sorry you had such an awful experience but you were absolutely right to follow your instincts and go to triage - as you say the messaging is everywhere that you should contact your midwife immediately if you are feeling less movement, and imagine if you ignored it and then something did happen. That midwife you saw sounds like a miserable cow and you should try to put her to the back of your mind.