In my 38th week and book for c section next week as baby is breech. It was first day of mat leave today and I've felt overcome with feelings of stress and some type of frustration but not sure why.
I have quite a high pressure job that I do from home but it doesn't make me feel stressed and I usually really enjoy it. It's a big part of my life I guess. However I was really looking forwarding to starting mat leave but today I just feel so moody and I'm never normally like this.
It's like I've been distracted for months and now reality is setting in that I'll be at home alone looking after a baby and a dog for six months. I love my dog but I've had 0 patience for her today as I waddled around the house and I feel so bad. I'm terrified of having a newborn in the mix too once DH goes back to work and having no mental stimulation just trying to look after them both and being rubbish at it.
I've even tried to get a side hustle project going in past few days to occupy my mind and do something not just sit around or watch TV.
Hate that I'm being so negative and not sure where these feelings came from as I was really looking forward to everything last week. I will have some family support initially but family live far away so can't be a regular thing.