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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Ectopic fears/ crippling anxiety

19 replies

Elz1406 · 14/05/2023 17:38

I tested positive a few days ago (around 10 dpo) and really struggling to deal with the anxiety. I'm 31 and this was our first month of trying so I'm kind of in shock and finding it really hard to relax. I was expecting it to take a lot longer. So far things seem ok. I have a bit of sore boobs, some nausea and cold like symptoms as well as quite a bit of cramping. My tests were very light the first couple of days but seem to be getting darker now. I know problems in early pregnancy are common and I'm trying to prepare for the worst - right now I feel not excited at all, only fearful and anxious. I have also absolutely convinced myself that my pregnancy is ectopic. About a week after ovulation I had a bit of shooting pain, I think around one of my ovaries, it didn't last long at all, just a minute or so, but I didn't have any pain in the middle where implantation pain should be. Now I'm sure that was the egg implanting in one of my tubes. I do get quite a lot of pelvic twinges in general. But I can only find info on one sided pain associated with ovulation. I have no idea if that kind of pain can be normal at other times of the month. I know there's nothing I can do but wait but I just don't know how to stay sane in the mean time. The thought of spending the next 2 months just worrying and thinking I'm going to see ectopic on my 12 month scan (if I get there) is awful. I'm already thinking ahead to how I'll recover from what might happen. I'm currently coming off my anti depression and anxiety meds after a very blunt and unsympathetic appointment with the doctor about it which isn't helping. Sorry for the rant, noone apart from DH knows yet and he is lovely but can't really understand what I'm talking about. Just any tips on how to stay sane during the wait would be much appreciated.:) thanks xx

OP posts:
Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 14/05/2023 18:09

If you feel stressed about it I would suggest a private scan which can be done from around 6 weeks. This will let you know that the pregnancy is in the correct place. They cost approx £70.

Eptopic pregnancy is rare. I had pain on my right hand side with this pregnancy and my last. Both have been fine and in the correct place x

Donotgogentle · 14/05/2023 18:18

I’d say it’s your anxiety you should be focussing on here op rather than the remote risk of ectopic pregnancy.

Unfortunately there’s a lot to worry about in pregnancy.

If you’re coming off your anxiety meds what’s the treatment plan?

Original poster
Elz1406 · 14/05/2023 18:36

Donotgogentle · 14/05/2023 18:18

I’d say it’s your anxiety you should be focussing on here op rather than the remote risk of ectopic pregnancy.

Unfortunately there’s a lot to worry about in pregnancy.

If you’re coming off your anxiety meds what’s the treatment plan?

Thank you, I really need to try and bring it under control. I've worked really hard on improving it when this being pregnant thing has really thrown me! Tbh I didn't feel very happy about the appointment. I didn't feel like I was really given any chance to discuss the relative risks of coming off the medication. I was on a medication for chronic sinusitis, anxiety meds and anti depressents. She just told me to stop taking the first two immediately without any discussion of alternatives or the impact. Then she told me that as I was also on the lowest dose on antidepressants I would need to taper off them. I asked what would happen if I went off and didn't cope mentally. She said we would need to have a very serious discussion as it wasn't just about me anymore but my baby. I understand it but the wording was not reassuring at all. It made me feel really guilty for even thinking about it. And it doesn't fit with what I've read either. Sorry for the long response. Just typing this makes me realise how unhappy I am with how that appointment went. xx

OP posts:
CanitBeforgiven · 14/05/2023 18:37

When i had an ectopic I had pain from 4 weeks. You should definitely get an early scan if you’re worried

Original poster
Elz1406 · 14/05/2023 18:38

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 14/05/2023 18:09

If you feel stressed about it I would suggest a private scan which can be done from around 6 weeks. This will let you know that the pregnancy is in the correct place. They cost approx £70.

Eptopic pregnancy is rare. I had pain on my right hand side with this pregnancy and my last. Both have been fine and in the correct place x

Thank you xx I think I'll try to book one for about 8 weeks so I will definitely know if there's a heartbeat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elz1406 · 14/05/2023 18:42

CanitBeforgiven · 14/05/2023 18:37

When i had an ectopic I had pain from 4 weeks. You should definitely get an early scan if you’re worried

Sorry to hear about your experience x Where did you have pain if you don't mind me asking? I haven't had any pain since testing positive. I know shoulder tip pain is a symptom - I have had a bit of pain around the shoulder blade and upper back today but from what i've read shoulder tip pain is a symptom after you've had other symptoms and the pain isn't at my shoulder tip.

OP posts:
hartof · 14/05/2023 18:45

With my ectopic I experienced pain from very early on. All in what felt like my right hip and would radiate down my right thigh. I also had the prune juice bleeding all the way through. Try not to worry, I know it's very hard not to I think. But equally, if you continue to experience pain and you feel something isn't right please insist on the hospital treating you as It's not something that gets a lot of awareness.

Lillybobs86 · 14/05/2023 20:00

I had an Ectopic last year and my pain started from 4 weeks 2 days and was excruciating.
I did feel implantation in my tube during implantation it was a very sharp pain for a few seconds.
You wouldn't get to 12 weeks with an ectopic but I would just book an early private scan to rule out and to speak to your doctor regarding your worries and anxiety x

dogmum93 · 14/05/2023 20:02

@Elz1406 I am pregnant as well, early days, 5 weeks tomorrow.
I am not on anxiety meds, but I too have been incredibly anxious about early pregnancy, with feelings mostly of overwhelm, anxiety, worry and anticipation of the worst. I've spoken to a close friend about it who is now 12 weeks along herself and said it's how she felt too.
How you are feeling is within the realms of normal. I thought I was just going to feel excited and extatic, which I am, but I'm feeling very cautious and anxious as well. I am going to book myself a scan at 7 weeks to hopefully ease some of my anxiety. Give your anxiety space, it exists and it's natural. Also give yourself space to be happy and excited and look towards a future with your baby.

Wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy, congratulations!

dogmum93 · 14/05/2023 20:04

@Elz1406 I would also recommend stepping away from Google and even Mumsnet for a few days, I did and it did me the world of good.

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 20:05

Doesn't sound likely to be ectopic to me. This is how my ectopic (second pregnancy) went:

12dpo bfn
14dpo weird light period
21dpo ish v faint bfp (I took test because I had...I don't know a weird hunch)
Tests didn't darken
Lots of spotting
Blood tests showing minimal HCG rises
Pain low down on left, burning sensation in groin, stabbing sensation in arse
An ultrasound showing bleeding, surgery

The way you've described your darkening tests etc makes me think the embryo is likely in the right place. My sonographer said my blood test low HCG results were classic for ectopic.

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 20:12

Oh also the shoulder pain thing - the Dr in a&e said it's a bad pain very specifically where your arm and shoulder meet, you'd definitely know you have it. As it happens I didn't have it. I think you'd be so poorly by the time you do have it that you'd already know you were very unwell.

CanitBeforgiven · 14/05/2023 20:16

Elz1406 · 14/05/2023 18:42

Sorry to hear about your experience x Where did you have pain if you don't mind me asking? I haven't had any pain since testing positive. I know shoulder tip pain is a symptom - I have had a bit of pain around the shoulder blade and upper back today but from what i've read shoulder tip pain is a symptom after you've had other symptoms and the pain isn't at my shoulder tip.

Show quote history

I didn’t have typical symptoms at all - I had a pulling sensation/ pain in tube area and a nerve pain down the inside of my thigh.

My tests got darker quickly, no spotting , no shoulder pain.

I started to get more pain in the tube area at about 5 weeks and was already being monitored. I had methotrexate to treat mine which worked really well but I didn’t have any of the signs you read about

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 20:30

@CanitBeforgiven oh wow quite different to my experience.

OP I guess the thing is that speculating constantly if it's ectopic when it's very unlikely to be isn't going to help you at all 🙂

In terms of a worst case scenario, from the medical rather than the emotional perspective, it's relatively easy to treat. Sometimes ectopics just resolve themselves. I had the operation and was walking about immediately afterwards.

Blue2020 · 14/05/2023 20:34

Also in pregnancy in general you will/can get pains and twinges etc. I haven’t had an ectopic, but the odd pains and twinges I got on my lower left between 3-7weeks made me wonder. I had a private scan at 9weeks and it was fine and in the right place. Didn’t find out what the pains were.

CanitBeforgiven · 14/05/2023 21:09

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 20:30

@CanitBeforgiven oh wow quite different to my experience.

OP I guess the thing is that speculating constantly if it's ectopic when it's very unlikely to be isn't going to help you at all 🙂

In terms of a worst case scenario, from the medical rather than the emotional perspective, it's relatively easy to treat. Sometimes ectopics just resolve themselves. I had the operation and was walking about immediately afterwards.

I was really shocked as I just didn’t have the typical symptoms but I did know something was wrong as just didn’t feel right but I thought it was maybe a failing pregnancy not an ectopic. That didn’t cross my mind as I thought no shoulder pain no spotting etc . Months later i still get the same pain which I assume is nerve pain ?

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 21:49

Really sorry OP don't mean to derail your thread so will just keep my reply to @CanitBeforgiven short. @CanitBeforgiven I still have nerve pain too! Sorry you get it, but it's reassured me to hear it

SpringOn · 14/05/2023 21:53

Just to reassure you I had stabbing ovary pain for a couple of months in early pregnancy in both my successful pregnancies. It’s totally normal - it’s the corpus luteum- the place the egg came from, and it pulses out hormones in the first couple of months to maintain the pregnancy.

Original poster
Elz1406 · 15/05/2023 10:16

WhiteClover · 14/05/2023 21:49

Really sorry OP don't mean to derail your thread so will just keep my reply to @CanitBeforgiven short. @CanitBeforgiven I still have nerve pain too! Sorry you get it, but it's reassured me to hear it

Don't be sorry! This is forum for us to chat about all this stuff- not derailing at all :)xx

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