Etiquette for other ppl on public transport

[enigma22220]

Pregnant second time around and I don't remember Londoners being this rude! I am carrying twins and am massive, and yet ppl ignore the giant belly/tfl badge, i.e. no one offering me a seat! I literally have to ask "can I have this seat to get someone to budge"

I'm tired, and I change "mode" 3 times each way on my commute (bus, train, then 2 tube lines) and cannot be arsed to keep asking. Anyone offering will be gratefully received.

Is it me being unreasonable? On the bus home, a gaggle of kids late home from school, occupying all the priority seats. On the other side, a group of oaps.

I've resigned to being tired and nauseous. Maybe I'll just puke on them.

Just ask for heaven’s sake. Some people scan the carriage, lots of people will just be sat on their phones and not even notice you.

I suspect people are just oblivious. Just ask politely and I bet you will get a seat.

No you're not imagining things, public transport users in London have gotten much ruder in the past 3-4 years.

I started my last job in 2018 and by 2021 people had stopped waiting for passengers to disembark before trying to get on themselves. Horrible at the best of times but really awful when you're getting rammed when pregnant.

I also got more or less blanked by everyone when pregnant. A few nice people of course but it was a bit stressful and I had a long commute.

It is tiring having to assert yourself every bloody journey but you've just got to if you're feeling rotten.

Standing there waiting for them to spot your badge isn't working us it so you'll need to ask.

I do ask! But I'm tired of doing it each time, and like "thank you!!" With gushing/grateful eyes. Sod it, I'm annoyed at asking constantly.

It is tiring :(

Also, who do you approach? The burly middle age builder-esque men? The youngish office ladies on the way back home? What if they have hidden disabilities? They are ALL sitting in priority seats.

In Asia, it's taboo to seat in those priority seats unless absolutely needed. Least you get shamed on social media. Sometimes I wish that happens here.

The problem is, you offer your seat to someone who looks pregnant but isn't and they're offended, so it's hard to be certain whether it's ok to offer.

You just have to ask unfortunately. It would be nice if people sat in the priority seats looked up at every station to see if anyone needs their seat (and indeed there are signs on the tube reminding people that they ought to do this) but they just don’t. I had to ask someone if they could give up their seat for me every day throughout my first pregnancy, even at 35 weeks pregnant no one offered. I only ever asked whoever was sat in the priority seat, I wouldn’t ask someone else further down the carriage. My sympathies, it’s not fun commuting when heavily pregnant.

I've visited London quite a few times (for various different reasons) and I've always got the vibe that I could drop dead in the street and people would just step over me.

I don't get that vibe at all here in Scotland. In fact I've seen people go out of their way to help strangers numerous times.

I'd have asked the school to kids to move.

Are you saying every single seat is taken or that you want one at the front?

Every single seat is taken, and the gaggle of kids are very rowdy and messing about. Typical kids egging each other and just kinda jumping on each other heads. It's not fun to listen either. Super sweary.

OK if they're arsing about I can see why you don't want to be in the middle, but generally I find they move better than the adults.
And yes of course it would he nice if people offered, esp as you're clearly pregnant, but you just have to ask. Sort of eyeball a group of seats and ask generally "could anyone make room for a heavily pregnant one".

How long have you got? Is altering work hours a possibility just til they come? Will you need to get a bus with your buggy?

Was the same 25 years ago and they didn't have badges either

Just ask "do you need the priority seat?" to whoever is sat there.

I like this! Less "begging"!

14 weeks now, ages to go still. Working from home some days so that's a respite. And thankfully not bring DD into London either, so no need for buggy.

Aww, matching girls?

I was gonna say, double buggy on buses, you'll def need to get used to moving people
My matchy matchy boys are 3

You just use your outside voice and ask if someone is willing to give up their seat.

I always get singled out by someone wanting a seat. I’m fed up with it and usually involves lots of scowls and snide comments because I stay put.

They wouldn't. I've seen a huge number of incidents where people have had seizures in the road. Passed out in the tube. A man had a heart attack (I think). A woman hit by a car.

Londoners with our fail have rushed to help.

Just because people aren't chatty with strangers or smiling at a everyone doesn't mean they're soulless or cruel people.

If you're only 14 weeks even with twins are you even showing much? You just need to ask. It might be annoying but everyone wants to sit down. You have priority, but you need to ask for it.

'Could I please have a priority seat'. Someone will move. No need for the flattery and fawning eyes just say cheers and sit down.

She's got 14 weeks left

You don't deserve snide comments for staying put. But this is why constantly asking is hard, because for many reasons lots of people stay put and op can't know who's who.

Really is easier if people who can would just be wiling to offer