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Original poster

Should I get married sooner rather than later? What would you do in this situation?

4 replies

MumtoFreddie2023 · 10/05/2023 21:23

long post but please read!!

Hi all, me and my partner have been together just shy of 10 years, we brought our first house 3 years ago and both own an equal share of the property.

I have recently given birth to our little boy. I am going to be returning to work full time in 6 months and I didn’t want a long period of time and want to get stuck back in as soon as possible. I have an NHS pension and I am continuing to pay into this. My partner is also covering the shortfall whilst I am on maternity pay. All bills are split 50/50. My partner has been amazing with everything, pre and post birth. He has been hands on and has been helping with night feeds, housework and so on.

We decided before finding out I was unexpectedly pregnant to elope to Cornwall at the end of this year but I am really not feeling it at all. I am suffering from post natal depression at the moment and it really is the last thing I want to thing about. My partner has been understanding of this but I have read a few posts on here recently about how it is a good idea to be married before having children as marriage can act as a good insurance if anything were to happen and I would be covered financially.

We both earn pretty equal wages at the moment, we have health insurance, wills and income protection in place and as mentioned previously I will be returning to work full time. We have a supportive family who will be helping with child care.

My question is, should I get married sooner rather than later?

OP posts:
parietal · 10/05/2023 21:43

marriage gives you more security in the event of a breakup. it also means that your DP is officially next of kin if you were ill in hospital or similar. And if your DP tragically died, you could inherit everything from him with no tax (and vice versa).

in general, marriage is a good deal for the person with less money / income / assets, and a less good deal for the person with more money / income / assets. you and your DP sound pretty equal, but marriage would still protect you if you take more time off work and would give a legal framework for sorting things out if there were a split.

Battybonk · 10/05/2023 21:46

Get married.

Pinkbumbles · 10/05/2023 22:33

I agree marriage helps with certain legalities however you've been together so long and own property together and there is such a thing as common law partnerships. I don't know much about them but you could look into it and see if this entites you to certain legal rights that mean you can put off getting married until you feel up to it. You can also make a will or put in place a power of attorney type situation regardless of marriage.

AnotherEmma · 10/05/2023 22:45

Pinkbumbles · 10/05/2023 22:33

I agree marriage helps with certain legalities however you've been together so long and own property together and there is such a thing as common law partnerships. I don't know much about them but you could look into it and see if this entites you to certain legal rights that mean you can put off getting married until you feel up to it. You can also make a will or put in place a power of attorney type situation regardless of marriage.

Ignore this, it's a common misconception. Common law marriage does not exist.

just get married!

Are you getting any support for your PND? Have you talked to your GP and/or HV?

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