At what point did you relax and enjoy your pregnancy?

[NervousSheWrote]

Hello all! A lot of firsts for me today..

First time posting on mumsnet, first time finding out I’m pregnant, after my first month of trying (!)

I’m a worrier by nature, and wanted to ask at what point did you feel able to relax into your pregnancy? Since my positive test this morning I’ve been a whirlwind of worry about the drinks I had over the bank holiday weekend (before I knew obvs!), the many potential things that could go wrong with the pregnancy, and even how to choose a hospital for maternity care. Would love to hear your experiences of dealing with similar anxieties and any advice you might have.

Thanks!

Hi ya if it helps I didn't find out I was pregnant with this one and my youngest one until I was 23 weeks pregnant I drank quite a bit until I found out with both of them needless to say the have both found out I'm the wrong person to explain when I relaxed as never relaxed at all (got 5 weeks to go with this one) but I'm sure you will be fine I know it's hard but try not to giggle everything as that makes worrying worse trust me

With my first it was after my 12 week scan, I just decided what will be will be and leaned in to it.

With my second I didn't worry for one nanosecond because it a) wasn't planned and b) I was too busy with my one year old!

I've had lovely pregnancies and I put that down to being relaxed and taking really good care of myself.

In terms of hospitals, if there is one near you with a midwifery led unit (birth centre) rather than just a labour ward then I would go for that as long as it's not too far.

You can actually visit them now it's not COVID!

Also, you can change your hospital at any time if you for some reason don't get in with the one your at.

For me, the first twelve weeks / until the first scan dragged and I was always wondering if the baby was ok, and while the scan is a good milestone I still felt a bit anxious until I felt movements. I've been the same both pregnancies - once I feel movements then I massively relax.

Your midwife will guide you through the whole process of choosing where to give birth, and you have loads of time to do your own research if you want to.

I wouldn't say I have ever actually enjoyed pregnancy though - it's a pain in arse, or rather right now at 39 weeks it's a pain in the crotch... the result is worth it though (well, so far 😆)

I've also been incredibly anxious.
For me I'm starting to relax following my 20 week scan last week, but usually I'm okay for a while after a scan and then the anxiety builds until I have another one.
I've got to redo the 20 week scan at 23 weeks as they couldn't measure everything, so I'm hoping I will be okay until then.
I've just had to pay for extra scans every few weeks to ease the anxiety. I know I should get a handle on the anxiety, but I see it as a short term issue and limited to the pregnancy.

I felt a bit better after the 12 week scan and really enjoyed it after the 20 week scan - by then I could feel the baby moving so had that reassurance every day! Please try not to worry about problems that don't exist yet - but also if you are getting really anxious then I would speak to the GP about it. They can also advise you about maternity care. You should have your first midwife appt at 8 weeks and you can talk to her about your worries too and get some support.

Also I'm sure you've seen this but I found this website really useful in terms of what to expect https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/your-antenatal-appointments/

Hi @NervousSheWrote , congrats! I‘M now 22 weeks and have struggled so much with anxiety all the way through. The funny thing is I never imagined I’d be anxious I thought pregnancy would be this wonderful and exciting thing!

I would say whilst I have my moments I’m now a lot more relaxed, it’s a combination of having a bump, having done the 20 week scan and I think most crucially, being able to feel her kick. With the kicking I at least know she’s okay in there in the moment whereas before there was no way of knowing! There’s always things though that get me again - she hardly moved over the weekend, I had constant contractions for a week a few weeks back. But overall feeling a lot better

I wasn’t successful in beating the anxiety earlier on but I would say these things do help: a) regular scans if you’re able to financially - particularly pre 12 weeks I needed these to reassure me she was still there! B) staying off google and mumsnet too - whilst somethings were really helpful (for example I had spotting and mumsnet was great to see that this is fairly common and nothing to worry about) I would always accidentally see something that made me so worried c) walking around crowds of people (I live in London so that’s easy) and reminding myself that every person I’m seeing is a story of a successful pregnancy!

Thanks so much for your replies, glad to hear I’m not the only one with an over-active mind…

I’ve definitely been looking ahead to the first scan as a big (hopefully) weight off my mind moment, and will definitely consider paying for an earlier one if the waiting gets too much.

Will try to stay off Google too, it’s just so hard when you’ve got no idea what’s going on in there!

Best of luck to you all with your bumps, I’m not letting myself imagine yet what it’ll feel like to be so far along as I know this early on anything could happen.