Thinking of having another child

[Sliminside]

Any advice, Im nearly 40 years old, and I have a 3 year boy, im thinking of having another baby but i just cant make my mind up, my husband works long hours and i had no choice but to deal with my son day and night on my own, so if I do go ahead with another baby i know i`ll be on my own to get through all the feeds, lack of sleep and everything else on my own, but right now i have a really strong urge to have another child,

I think you should just go for it! Dh and I deliberated long and hard before deciding to have no.2 as dd is 6 and we have a good life with lots of holiday etc. We knew that a new baby would mean giving stuff up, less freedom, more tiredness etc. but the "urge" won over in the end, I'm now 25weeks pg and we're both thrilled. Age was also an issue for us as I'm 38 and dh is 46 so it felt a bit like "now or never". If you've got such a strong urge you will probably regret it if you don't have another and I think you just cope with stuff regardless. Tbh, when dd was was born I did most of the stuff on my on anyway as her dad (ex-dh) worked shifts and as for feeds, because I was breastfeeding, I did them all plus all the getting up in the night. In fact he wasn't much help with anything! Good luck with your decision

Not much time to post but I'd say 'go for it' - you'd be amazed actually how, in some ways, 2 can be easier than 1! Not in the very early stages of course but when they start playing together they keep each other occupied and it brings a whole other, amazing, dimension to your family!

Yes yes yes before it's too late! Got pg with DD2 on my 40th birthday and having her is the joint best thing I've ever done (having DD1 was the other of course). Best way of deciding for me was to imagine how I'd feel in 10 years time if we didn't go for it - the thought of this was enough to face up to any amount of hard work.

ok, hijacking this thread put looking for confirmation about my madness: have 2 young children, passed 40 y and thinking about ttc3...

Hi Slim,

I am no help to you, since I am expecting #2 and now having panick attacks about it.... But then, I had panick attacks when I was expecting #1, and now I think she is the best thing I've done in my life!
That's the thing about making a decision about having a kid, isn't.. You can try to rationalize, but you only know later whether you made the right decision or not.
I will say that, anyone in the right of their mind will never shoose all the work invovlved in the first years of raising a child. I pure madness! On the other hand, probably only one that has done it, knows how fulfilling it is to have one!
Some people regret having a child, and some people clearly shouldn't have one. Most of us though, I think, just go with our gut instincts and then adjust to our decision. So go with your guts!

Sliminside (love the name!)

both our kids were 'accidents' and I'm under 40 so can't really contribute on that side. But I think if you REALLY want another child now's the time to go for it!

Your ds will be almost 4 when new bub would arrive so much more independent :) And if you get him involved in doing things for baby (I do that with dd 3yo) you've got a little helper. I use dd as an alarm system when I'm e.g. in the kitchen or the shower to get me when ds (3 months) starts crying

It was a bit of a shock to the system having ds as dd is now a bit more independent and ds needs full attention. But that lasted only for the first month and now I'm (mostly) enjoying having 2 monsters at home

I'd also say go for it .. what would you prefer to look back on .. the thought that you could have had another child, or the thought that you're glad those tough couple of years are over

and if it means anything, I've found the 2nd absolutely no extra work (DS is 3.9 and DD is 7 months) .. yes there's been broken night's sleep but DS entertains DD during the day and loves helping

it is so worth it

I'd say go with the 'urge'