So conflicted

[oopsiedaisie1001]

Help!
I'm so conflicted.
I found out this weekend I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do.
This is an unplanned 4th pregnancy (would be child number 3).
We currently live in a lovely area but only a 2 bed (plans to extend in a few years).
We can't afford to move.

I've been lying awake most of the night trying to decide if I am being totally selfish keeping this baby.
Would it be completely unfair on my current two (6 and nearly 3) to have another one? It would change the family dynamic so much.

It would change our lives drastically.
We could probably manage financially, but it would be just that....managing.
We would have to cancel a big family holiday this year (zika risk country) and I'm worried I wouldnt be able to be the kind of mum I want to be, being pulled in so many directions. I don't want to

I have a big work trip planned internationally that would be late in the 3rd trimester so that would have to be cancelled or rearranged for others which would put pressure on so many people.

I keep thinking that we are happy with our current set up, would this completely destroy what we have?
I know no one can tell me what to do, but I really haven't a clue what's to do for the best.

What are people's experiences moving from 2-3? Or has anyone else been in a similar situation and decided to stick with 2?

I always thought I wanted a 3rd, but not for a few more years, but now it's happened I'm not so sure anymore.
I don't know if I'm nervous and scared of the change.
I switch between talking myself into continuing with this pregnancy and then talking myself out of it too.

I feel so lost

Hi OP, don't have any advice per se, but didn't want to read and run.

I think ultimately, only you and your DP know what's right for you just now. What are his feelings?

I think you'll make it work if it's what you want, but if it's not you may end up resenting the wider situation (not necessarily the baby!), but only you know that really.

How long do you have to make a decision? Is there pressure or can you take your time?

Thank you for responding.
We're both in shock really and gave ourselves time to get our heads round it.

We're going to talk about it tonight once the other two are in bed. I think we both needed time with our thoughts.

I'm still so unsure.
One minute I'm certain that a termination is the best course of action.
Then the next I figure we'll make it work and it would be fine.

If it was next year, and we had the space now I don't think I'd question at all, but there is so much planned and so many opportunities booked in already between now and next Feb that we would have to give up. Our house is small and I keep thinking it wouldn't be fair on anyone....but people make all sorts work, and we have planning permission, this is our forever home, it'll just mean a couple of years with not much space.

My main dilemma is that I've always wanted a third, albeit not for another year or two, whereas my husband wants/wanted to stick at two.

I'm still very early on, so have time.
But I feel like the longer I leave it the more attached I'll get and my judgement will be clouded and I'll be far less rational in my decision making.