Longest first stage ever!

[ItsJustLittleOldMe]

I don’t know what I’m hoping for here maybe some reassurance.
I'm 40+5 this is pregnancy number five but the last two I had a stillbirth and then a miscarriage at nine weeks.
So they are calling this baby number three. On Thursday night I started having contractions in the night, deffo not Braxton Hicks as I’ve had them a lot in the pregnancy and these are different. They got more regular and stronger until I phoned midwife midday on Friday and they told me to come in. By the time I got in everything cooled off. They checked me and I was 3cm dialated but as contractions stopped I went home. They have come and gone since then. I had a sweep yesterday at 3.pm and was told cervix was ready to go and I was 4cm but since then the contractions have been on and off again with no set pattern.
I'm so worn out! Everything I’ve looked up said this stage shouldn’t go on so long unless it’s your first pregnancy which it’s not. I’ve spent the day in tears and don’t know what to do, I’ve followed all their advice on keeping moving etc but nothing is working. Been on the longest walks two days in a row but the contractions won’t establish.
Sorry for the long post but anyone had anything similar and can offer advice?
Thanx

My second DC was a bit like this, but once it started she was delivered in 3 hours. Those on off contractions will be doing something.

In terms of getting things going what about sex ?

Tried it, and hasn’t worked … literally trying everything as I’m so fed up of this limbo

@ItsJustLittleOldMe

Hey , I know this may sound silly , but I had a sweep and then went home went on the ball for 5 hours & had pineapple at the same time the next day my waters went and then the same day my boy was gone , have you also tried walking up and down steps , even more walks.? It's annoying when things don't get moving it's good your now 4cm dilated. Shouldn't be much longer now good luck xx

My second I had 3 days of on off contractions before they finally ramped up and I went into labour. Your body is doing its job. Walk sideways up stairs or walk along a curb with one foot on it and one on the road. Make sure you are eating and drinking plenty and also try to rest

I’ve been on the ball for hours, and eaten a whole pineapple. I’m trying more spicy food now. The only thing I haven’t done is rest because I’m so stressed so maybe that’s it… will try and rest a bit x

I’ve tried walking up and down the stairs like a crab but my hips have seized up a bit (long term hip problems) I’ve just had a hot shower and warmed them up so will give it another go. Thanx for all your replies guys, I appreciate them!

@ItsJustLittleOldMe your body needs oxytocin to trigger labour. Your body releases it when happy and relaxed. Get a massage from your partner, take a warm bath, light some candles, watch a comedy, eat some chocolate. My midwife even recommended a small glass of wine to help me relax. Your body could well be stopping and starting because you’re feeling stressed.

I will try all those things! I’m definitely stressed, my mum is on chemo and has her next lot on Thursday so if baby is born Thursday or Friday she won’t be well enough to come and cuddle them so I think I’ve put myself under a bit too much pressure. Thanx for the tips

Sorry for your loss op.

Are you open to induction? I know a few people who have had stillbirths and been offered inductions. I agree that it's likely the stress stalling things so probably best to focus on things that will relax you.

Thank you, yes 100% but they have said not until I’m 41+6 which is still 8 days away, I might have to phone and see if they will reconsider because I am super stressed

If things haven't progressed overnight I'd ask them to break your waters today, I bet you'd give birth soon after.

Everyone I know with a stillbirth has been offered induction from 37 weeks, I assumed they didn't want them going overdue. I'm quite shocked they'll let you go that far.

Seconding what @PickledScrump said about oxytocin. You need to feel safe and relaxed to encourage labour to progress. Try a warm bath, a massage, a nap.... Adrenaline slows labour and supresses contractions.

@trevh still nothing, I thought they would let me have my waters broken too. I think I might phone and ask this afternoon.

@TinyTeacher So I did manage to get some sleep last night after trying all the relaxation things suggested but still no pattern with these contractions I’m definitely going to chase them up about having my waters broken I think