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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Gender disappointment

39 replies

ConfusedMumma87 · 04/05/2023 16:09

I just found out my third is a boy. I have a boy and a girl. I'm suffering from quite a bit of gender disappointment as I wanted a sister for my daughter as they'd be the youngest together. I actually only really tried for a third to have a sister. I realise how stupid that sounds but I used a method before to get
My daughter so thought it would work again. So I just wanted to hear from people who have this dynamic and how the kids get on? Does the oldest boy interact with the youngest boy? Are they close? How does the girl fare? Does the girls wish she had a sister? Thank you x

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Original poster

ConfusedMumma87 · 04/05/2023 20:22

Marylou62 · 04/05/2023 19:46

Can I give you a perspective from someone who has adult children.. My DC are 33 30 and 26..b,g,b... they are so close..the boys (7 yr gap) play cricket together and were even chefs on the same ship in the navy! My DD loves being the only girl..a Daddy's girl and we have a wonderful relationship... I really really wanted another girl and had a millionth of a second disappointment at his birth...
But I can honestly say that they are so close and spend a lot of time together...
I hope looking into the future will help with your feelings.. I wanted my DD to have a sister as I never got one...4 brothers!

Thank you! You're reply has made me cry with happy thoughts. Thank you I really mean that. I suffer from anxiety etc after losing my mum and I just wobble with things sometimes like this I know I'll be ok but I just need to focus on something if you understand and this has really made me happy thank you xxx

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Original poster

ConfusedMumma87 · 04/05/2023 20:23

Soproudoflionesses · 04/05/2023 19:52

I would love that family configuration op. No middle child syndrome for dd as she is the only girl and 2 boys that will bring great energy to the mix

Thank you. That's what I'm trying to think now. I know it's so stupid to have got hung up on it it's because I lost my mum and I'm just trying to create as many female relationships as I can. But you're right no middle child syndrome x

OP posts:

inky1991 · 04/05/2023 20:26

I get gender disappointment is a thing, but I find it hard to empathise with you when you already have one of each. You are extremely lucky to have that - be grateful.

Marylou62 · 04/05/2023 20:28

ConfusedMumma87 · 04/05/2023 20:22

Show quote history

I'm so sorry about your Mum... I'm just back home to my family after a week caring for my Mum (who has altzeimers)whilst my Dad was in the hospice..He died on Monday... I'm lucky to have had him for so long.. I'm 60.. I can't imagine how you feel losing your Mum so young... I'm sending so much love ❤️...x

SleepingStandingUp · 04/05/2023 20:31

So you only had a third baby because you decided your DAUGHTER needed a same sex sibling but your son doesn't? And now it's the wrong type of baby because your poor daughter will have to have another brother?

What's happened with your eldest child to make you feel this way?

Blossomandbee · 04/05/2023 20:35

Slightly different angle here, but I have a boy and two girls who are close together. My girls have quite a personality clash, argue a lot and rarely play together. They both get on much better with their older brother.
These things don't always pan out as you think

glasslightly · 04/05/2023 20:35

So I managed to have gender disappointment for each of my three pregnancies 🤦🏼‍♀️, I totally understand it. I have G,B,B and I am totally convinced it’s the perfect dynamic now. In particular I think it’s great to have brothers - boys are a little bit rubbish at keeping up friendships as far as I can see and having an inbuilt friend in your brother is great, especially as they get older.

DNAshelicase · 04/05/2023 20:41

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Velvetbee · 04/05/2023 20:42

I have B G B B with 10 years between the eldest and youngest. 3 are adults now.
The girl is in charge (and very close to me) and the oldest and youngest are the closest pairing of any of them. Fret not.

PondLurking · 04/05/2023 20:58

Just giving a bit of perspective, as I'm the middle girl (in my 30's now) with a younger sister / older brother dynamic:

My younger sister and I are about 1yr 4mo apart and we couldn't be more opposite. Growing up together was TOUGH, as I often felt like we were in competition with one another (still are). She was the pretty blonde, I was the tomboy brunette, one of us was "princess" and the other one "pumpkin" if you get the drift. Caused fights and made cohabitation extremely difficult throughout the years. I feel bad for my poor mother, putting up with both of us after having three sons in the beginning. Things have greatly improved over the years and while I love my sister, we are still total opposites and often incompatible.

It comes down to personality more than gender, I'd say, but I often joke that she came along and ruined everything for me 😅

Kablea · 04/05/2023 21:03

My brother is 5yrs younger and we get on brilliantly (I’m best ‘man’ at his wedding!). We don’t live that close anymore, but call each other and visit all the time. I have nothing in common with my sister, we’ve never really got on. Nothing bad, we don’t fight, just different people.

BreviloquentBastard · 04/05/2023 21:12

SO me and my siblings are boy, boy, girl (me), boy, boy, girl. For basically my whole childhood I was the only girl in a sea of boys! And I got on ok, my two closest in age brothers are my very best friends, and we all got on really well growing up.

LadyJ2023 · 04/05/2023 21:16

There is no method to make you have a boy or girl lol....anyway I have to brothers one sister close to all and now I have 2 girls 2 boys of my own and there all close in different ways to

Original poster

ConfusedMumma87 · 04/05/2023 21:17

Wallabyone · 04/05/2023 19:32

I have B G B with a 6 and 4 year gap. I had a slight preference for a boy third as I thought it would unsettle my daughter less, and it has been lovely. The boys get on brilliantly (very similar personality types at age 4 and 10) and my youngest gets on well with his sister, and loves the games she leads. It really is down to personality. I have a sister with a bigger gap (7 years) and we are close...sometimes I think it would have been nice for my daughter to have a sister, but they may have clashed!
Good luck with your pregnancy xxx

Thank you I really appreciate you taking the time to reply x

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