Nervous about 20-week scan

[esgill]

Please don't read if you are struggling with anxiety during pregnancy. I don't want to spread my feelings to other people... Just seeking reassurance I suppose, and tips for getting through the next week.

I have my 20-week scan in a week and I'm so nervous as the first friend of mine to become pregnant, 10 years ago, had a big problem at her 20-week scan where she learned her baby had no kidneys and she had to abort. As others have told me this is rare it's more common to have a healthy baby but I can't help but feel nervous. I've never been pregnant before but feel very attached to this unborn child! It's also been a really difficult pregnancy for me. I've been really sick for months and can't imagine having to go thrugh this again.

I had a gender scan at 16 + 4 and found I'm having a girl which my husband and I were delighted about and the sonographer didn't say anything looked amiss -- she showed us her brain, heartbeat, hands and feet. Baby was moving a lot and sucking her thumb.

At 12 weeks I had a very low risk of downs, patau's, edward's syndrome. Baby was also active and sucking her thumb.

I do feel the occasional sensation that feels like a kick but I can't be sure yet.

Hugs OP. Pregnancy is exciting but there's also lots to worry about so I empathise! I was also nervous for my 20 week scan. I tried to google lots of statistics but ultimately was too anxious to put those into any context (no internet site could promise my baby wouldn't be the one to have XYZ rare condition!) and ultimately I found distraction the best tactic. It sounds like everything has gone really well for you so far and, as you say, the most likely outcome is a healthy scan. Do talk to your midwife though if you are struggling to control your anxieties x

Thanks @firstbabyincoming! I don't get it as I was never particularly nervous about pregnancy before. It's just the unknown/randomness of it. I will try and get in touch with my midwife/control my anxiety :(

I completely get it! It's the first thing I've done that has been so outside my control and mumsnet understandably has a lot of posts about things going wrong as these people are looking for support, whereas people whose pregnancies are progressing as hoped will not be posting online. My midwife was surprised when I told her how anxious I'd been at booking and that was actually reassuring as it reminded me that the majority of pregnancies she sees will be healthy and she was expecting mine to be so too. Good luck with your scan and I hope you manage to get through this week quickly and without too much worry. I'm also not an expert but I think having a good scan at 16 weeks should be reassuring.

I was very much the same in my first pregnancy because a friend of mine had a similar experience at the 20w scan. We didn’t buy anything or announce our pregnancy beyond immediate family until after this scan.

I think it’s actually quite sensible in a way to have a bit of worry because ultimately this is an anomaly scan and it’s better to be prepared.

Having said that, the chances of having a beautiful healthy little girl in there are greatly in your favour so I’m sure everything will be absolutely fine and in the meantime try to focus on the fact that worrying about it won’t change it.

I think it’s normal to be nervous, it’s an anomaly scan after all and we never know. Don’t feel bad about being worried, so long as it’s not affecting you too badly it’s entirely reasonable.

Is anxiety a big problem for you generally? If so now would be a good chance to self refer to IAPT to learn some coping strategies, before baby arrives and you have no time!

@firstbabyincoming good to know your midwife is so reassuring about it. I should write to mine but I feel I held it together so much in the past couple of sessions I don't want to suddenly reveal I'm secretly nervous haha. I'd love to know whether a 16-week healthy scan is a good indicator of good news at the 20-week scan. I suppose some things only appear at 18 weeks?

@Movinghousehelp Yes I guess it is sensible to know that things could go wrong and prepare for the worst. How did the scan go in the end? Assuming they were healthy, but was it scary? I found it scary watching the sonographer move across the image at the 12-week scan with a deep look of concentration... Thank you, definitely need to keep busy to prepare myself mentally. I'm so glad we did the gender scan as otherwise, the reveal would be another anxiety-inducing thing! Not that I have a preference, it just feels a big thing.

@Trixiedrum thank you - yes I suppose some anxiety is warranted. I do struggle with anxiety normally but I think I've had it under control in the last couple of years. This is just one of those things I can't control... Yes I should self-refer to get it seen to.

What are the chances of things going wrong after the 20 week scan? At 12 weeks we did the NIPT and got low risk. At 20 weeks scan no issues were noted. Doc said baby is healthy. At 25 weeks I’ve now been diagnosed with GD. I’m so worried things are going downhill from here on and I will end up with an unhealthy child (I’m so worried abt microcephaly as baby’s head us measuring at the 3rd percentile)

Natural to worry OP. Most 20wks scans are fine, but you remember those that aren’t.

With DS1 they were concerned with his kidneys at the 20wk scan, thought he may have needed an op shortly after birth to enable him to pass urine. I was very worried, they said there was a chance that it could rectify itself, I had a further scan at 34 weeks and everything was fine. With DS2, everything was fine other than questioning my dates. He was a big baby and arrived 10 days early.

Good luck for your scan, hopefully you will relax a bit once it’s done and enjoy your healthy pregnancy and prepare for the wonderful new arrival. Such an exciting time.

@Roselilly36 so relieved for you! True, and the baby is moving a lot and sucking her thumb which I know is a healthy sign. Thank you for the good wishes, really hoping this next week goes quickly and that the scan is all fine. Have a holiday to look forward to straight after.

@Summergurl2023 I'm sorry I don't know the statistics. I just know I haven't felt safe yet as I have that one bad story among many good ones in my mind. Most people I know who miscarried or had problems had them before 12 weeks. I'm sorry you got diagnosed with GD. What symptoms did you have? I hear it's quite common and managed I don't suspect it will impact the baby? If they weren't worried at the 12 and 20-week scans it sounds like you're in a good position