How to cope with being overdue

[Springbaby2023]

Has anyone got any tips with how to mentally cope with being overdue?

I’m 40+2 with DC2 and I have honestly never been more miserable in my life (I know this is probably mainly due to hormones).

I was stupidly expecting him early so I finished work at 36 weeks and I’ve done everything I can think of. Huge freezer full of food. House is as clean as can be with a toddler, in fact I’m having to go round cleaning it all again because it’s been so long now since I’ve done some of those nesting jobs. Baby’s clothes organised.

I made a list of things I wanted to do with my toddler before baby was here and have done them all.

I’ve read upwards of 15 books since going on mat leave and had probably twice as many baths. I’ve been walking a lot, swimming, cooking nice food etc. Any tips I’ve seen have said about booking a massage, going for lunch etc but we just don’t have any money spare to do things like that. My partner has been great at giving me massages and we’ve done lots of nice dinners in but every evening is just deja vu at the moment.

I literally have nothing left to do, I feel like I’m spending all day and night just clock watching and it is killing me. I am awake for most of the night which isn’t helping as I then feel so tired and grumpy in the day. I nap when I can.

I’ve honestly never felt so miserable in my whole life. I’m so annoyed with myself for finishing work early and now stressing at how little time I’ll have with the baby before I have to go back to work. I am also worried that I will resent the baby for the way I’m feeling now or that this is the start of post natal depression. I’m scared the baby is going to be huge and that I will love them less because of this - massively irrational I know but can’t help but compare them to my first. Didn’t help that my weekly pregnancy update said baby would probably be quite alert and with a lot of hair because of being late and it has made me feel like I’m almost skipping the newborn phase - I know, I KNOW how irrational this makes me sound.

I wish I had rang the midwife on Friday to let her know how low I was feeling as now it’s bank holiday weekend and I can’t speak to them until Tuesday (not sure what they’d advise anyway).

I also just keep thinking how can I go into labour naturally when everyone says you need to be feeling relaxed and happy for labour to kick in and I can’t imagine myself feeling happy again. So I’ve resigned myself to probably needing an induction, which I have no issue with, just frustrating it means waiting another couple of weeks.

Sorry for the super long post but I am just at my wits end and don’t know what else to do to cope. Any advice welcome and thanks for reading if you got this far.

Overdue with all 3 of mine, very jealous of women whose babies came early (not prem of course). It’s just one of them horrible waiting games and I feel for you, but it doesn’t last forever. Soon you’ll be snuggling your baby 😊

@Pinkea honestly I didn’t realise how lucky I was with my first, he came early, waters broke out of the blue, no worrying about ‘is this labour’ or how long I had left. More fool me for assuming this one would be the same 🙈

Mine were over 41 weeks. You could try accupressure, I swear it made my waters pop with my first when my husband jabbed me in the ankle point (I heard it!). Then labour started. At worst it's something to focus on that may feel productive while you are waiting.
https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/acupressure-points-inducing-labor#bladder-60-point

Did you ask for a sweep? I was 40+4 with my last and got a sweep and I'm not joking that baby was born two hours later. Obviously that's not everyone's experience but it's worth a try.

@mumtohatty I did but got told I couldn’t have one until closer to 41 weeks. I should be able to get one next week though so 🤞🏻

I'm in the exact same boat, 40+3 with my 2nd and I've had zero signs at all. I'm miserable in every sense of the word! I feel like my body is failing me even though I'm only three days over my EDD which is silly really. I've resigned myself to just being lazy, napping as much as I can during the day and just doing things that make me happy

Deep sympathy. DSs arrived at 42 and 41 weeks (post sweep in both cases). I was beyond fed up. Less so with DS2 because I was mentally prepared for it but DH and I still sometime reminisce about how miserable I was waiting for DS1 to appear. I learned to knit just to keep myself busy. And sat like a beached whale in the local swimming pool quite a lot too as it took the weight off. Hang in there!

@featherlampshade sorry to hear you’re in the same situation! It is crazy how you can feel like that, I keep thinking maybe there’s something wrong that’s stopping the baby from coming which I know is illogical. Fingers crossed it happens for both of us soon. The only thing worse than having zero signs is having people text to ask if you have any signs!

How are you doing OP? I'm still pregnant, refusing to answer phone calls/texts from people asking IS THE BABY HERE YET?
I'm pretty fed up and may ask my midwife for a sweep tomorrow to get things moving

@featherlampshade I’ve been feeling more positive today, although very much still pregnant! I had a good night’s sleep last night which has massively helped.

I don’t blame you, the only thing worse than the people asking if the baby is here yet are the people who tell you to make the most of it. I’ve got a midwife appt on Tuesday and she’s said she will give me a sweep then if I want one so just need to have a think… part of me thinks it’s not worth it as I’ll only end up more fed up if it doesn’t work 🙈

I went to 40+12 with my second so I have been there. All I can say is once the baby is here this time will just be a brief memory. It’s such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things. Hold on, you are nearly there.

My baby girl came at 23+0. I'd have done anything to be overdue. However, I'm not OP and she sounds bloody uncomfortable! It must be really hard and even I can appreciate that

Honestly why do people comment if they're not going to show any compassion

@Springbaby2023 id continue with hand expressing. I did 2 sessions instead of 1 the night my little one finally arrived. I’d been doing 1 a day and having braxton hicks but 2 sessions a couple of hours apart worked. Only problem was labour went from 0-100

I am right there with you. My first came at almost the full 2 weeks over and had to be induced as there was no sign she was ever going to make an appearance. I'd really hoped this one might be different but 40 weeks this week and no signs. I'm so much more uncomfortable this time and really struggling to keep up with my toddler and life in general. 2 weeks more of this whilst short in the grand scheme of things feels impossible and I'm so bored of waiting even though I'm technically not even overdue yet.

People can say oh it's a short time stop counting, but many of the people who have said that to me have never gone overdue and certainly never gone as long as I did with my first. I find it's a very particular mental struggle that people just can't comprehend until it happens to them.

@OneStepOneStumble i feel your pain and really hope it’s over for you soon! My little one arrived Tuesday and I am already feeling SO much better both physically and mentally, even though I ended up with an EMCS. Good luck!

Congratulations!! Glad you're feeling well and your wait is finally over. I live in hope that I'll be joining you soon.