To find out the gender or not? Husband wants a surprise so says I need to have a surprise too

[Zee1345]

Hi,
So I'm 16 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby, I already have a girl and a boy, so gender doesn't really matter to me(gender preference is not the reason I want to find out) I will be so happy with what ever we have and it will really be a surprise anyway this time as we already have one of each and this is our last baby.
It's not been an easy pregnancy for me so far, I started with very bad morning sickness at 4 weeks and I'm 16 weeks and have currently tried 2different anti sickness medications and the new one I've started worked for a few days and now I'm back to being sick again, I'm also dehydrated from not being able to drink much and I've had 3 colds with sinus Infections lasting ages in the last 1 and a half months so it's not been an easy time this pregnancy, I'm trying to enjoy it but i think because of how I'm feeling I'm not getting excited yet about the baby and finding it hard to even get excited about the baby or bond with it.
I found out the gender with my first, had a surprise with my 2nd, both was nice and it was genuinely lovely having a surprise at the last birth and sometimes I think waiting this time until the birth will be more special because we've already got one of each, however I just keep thinking maybe if I find out the gender of the baby this time it might help me get excited and bond with the baby more?
My husband said a couple of weeks ago wed find out and not tell family and leave it as a surprise for the family, and now he has changed and saying he wants a surprise so that means I can't find out too and I need to have a surprise too.
I keep going back and forth on what I want as a surprise and find out is both nice but I feel he is being unreasonable saying I can't find out if I want too because he wants a surprise.
How would you deal with this? Is he being unreasonable or should I just respect what he wants?
Do you think it might help me bond with the baby and get excited if I find out?
Thanks

I think he's got a terrible attitude about it all tbh. If you want to find out then find out and don't tell him. It's not for him to dictate what you're doing.

My DH found out with our last but I didn't. The sonographer told him whilst I waited outside.

Oh my goodness you have major MIL/DH issues. Is he always like this? When's he going to put you first?!

If I were you I’d tell him that you want to find out, so you’re going to. But you won’t tell him as he wants to have a surprise.

I don’t see why you would want to tip toe round him and pretend you don’t know.

I feel you get to make the decision on anything residing inside your body.

With all due respect he can't stop you from deciding to find out and his insistence is really out of order, just tell the sonographer he doesn't want to know and they will only tell you... the actual person growing the baby and putting up with all the horrible symptoms and doing the hard work of labour.

It's quite laughable he thinks he gets to decide for you tbh, what an idiot.

My DH didn't want to know with our second. I found out and never told him (still doesn't know I knew) and they are 14!!

My friend found out but her dh didn't. They just agreed she'd keep witching between he and she when talking about the baby so it wasn't accidentally revealed. Your dh needs to respect that you are having a rough pregnancy and want to know.