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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

council accomodation

86 replies

LisaSs · 24/04/2023 10:55

Hi Girls! :)

First of all - I am due in December 2023, pregnant with my rainbow baby after 5 miscarriages.

The baby was 100% planned and after a few years of trying I am finally pregnant (hopefully it will stick this time 🙏)

on to the question... sadly me and my baby's daddy broke up recently. Trying and losses got us apart instead of bringing us together - he cheated on me and I had to move back to my parents. I am 28 years old, and in full-time employment but I am gonna struggle to rent something on my own and provide for a baby.

I know I am not eligible for any benefits, but I can't stay at my parent's house because there is simply no space for us.

I would love to have a council accommodation but I have no idea if I will be even eligible. Has anybody been in this situation? Any advice on how to get housing from the council?

Thank you for any advice x

OP posts:
Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 11:47

@ReadersD1gest He said he will only pay the minimum as he is starting a new life with his new partner
@TheNachtzehrer I am not able to stay where I am and can't afford the private rental.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 24/04/2023 11:52

Unfortunately your chances of being housed in London are slim to none OP. There are too many people with kids waiting already. You'll have to leave the area if you want a council house.

You can start the ball rolling but you might have to wait a decade or so.

Your best bet is private rental and get help to pay for it.

ReadersD1gest · 24/04/2023 11:53

LisaSs · 24/04/2023 11:47

@ReadersD1gest He said he will only pay the minimum as he is starting a new life with his new partner
@TheNachtzehrer I am not able to stay where I am and can't afford the private rental.

You'll have to look at a house share or something, then. You don't have the luxury of a private house/flat rental if you don't earn enough to pay for it 🤷🏻‍♀️

loislovesstewie · 24/04/2023 11:56

You need to approach your own local authority ask what they can do for you. As you live in London you really will be waiting forever to be housed but you do still need to engage with them to get any help. If you are at risk of homelessness you need to tell them that too. Being pregnant means that you are in priority need according to the homeless legislation. What assistance they give you is going to depend on what they have to offer. They might assist you with a deposit so that you can rent privately, but bear in mind that some L/As try to encourage you to move to cheaper parts of the country where there tends to be more accommodation. You won't know until you have asked them.

Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 11:57

@ReadersD1gest house share with a newborn? no, that's not an option. I've heard a lot of people in similar circumstances are getting help or council accommodations. But thanks for your judgment of me not earning enough - trust me, I do not wish you are in the situation I am in now with nobody around to help :)

OP posts:
fantasyhomesbythesea · 24/04/2023 11:57

You said you are not entitled to benefits OP. Are you show that is correct? People on low incomes receive benefits . What is your salary if you don't mind posting .

Toddlerteaplease · 24/04/2023 11:57

And chase your ex through the CMS. Make him pay what he should pay. Why should he be off the hook

loislovesstewie · 24/04/2023 11:58

Lots of owners of house shares won't allow babies/children on the premises for reasons of safety.

fantasyhomesbythesea · 24/04/2023 12:02

House share is definitely not suitable in this situation. OP you may find that you have to make the best of the overcrowding at home with parents. At least you will be safe whilst waiting for council accommodation. Unfortunately many families are having to put up with this

Redebs · 24/04/2023 12:02

Council will expect you to live with your parents as you are now. A new baby doesn't take up much space and doesn't count as a person yet for overcrowding assessment.

You should apply for Local Authority housing to get onto the list. You will get points after baby is born, but will not be eligible for housing automatically. You can access support in looking for more affordable accommodation through them, like Housing Associations.

Would your baby's father consider you and baby moving into his parents' house? I know you said he cheated on you, but there might be a way you could make it work by him moving out or dividing the property??

If your parents throw you out, you will be eligible for emergency housing in a hotel or b&b, but these are dire, depressing and often dangerous. They are also expensive and you wouldn't have cooking or washing facilities. You might be in temporary, emergency housing for a long time. They check that you are actually staying there, so there's no pretending to be homeless, while actually nipping back to your mum's.

The Tories sold off council housing. This is the result.

I hope you and your baby are well and that the birth goes smoothly, bringing you and your family joy and love ❤

Chattycathydoll · 24/04/2023 12:03

Why are people being such dicks about this?
I’m sorry OP. It’s a really tough circumstance to be in. No one asks to be cheated on by the father of their unborn child. No one should have to explain why they don’t want to stay in an overcrowded house with their baby. Of course you didn’t ask to be in these circumstances, and you deserve support.

Sadly it isn’t there. The support isn’t available. Council housing is in such demand. You’ll be eligible for UC and should probably talk to Shelter & Citizens Advice, but it’s so hard to actually get a place to rent in the first place while costs spiral.

I just don’t understand why people are being so arsey to someone in such tough circumstances.

Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 12:05

That's okay, I thought I will get some help regarding this or maybe a story of somebody who has been in the same situation and ended up okay, but after being judged and told that I want a 'luxury flat' I am out of here
For reference - no, I don't want anything luxurious. Just somewhere where I and my baby will be safe and able to live normally.
I've been through a lot of shit recently and trying to get my shit together after all this. I'm struggling on my own mentally and financially after aI was left alone pregnant with nowhere to go.

Thank you all kind souls for your input and advice.

OP posts:
Silverrocks · 24/04/2023 12:07

I'd recommend speaking to CAB or a similar organisation that can give you advice based on your specific circumstances. Whilst it's evident your current housing isn't suitable for a baby as well, sadly the wait for council properties is ludicrous and their threshold for being 'adequately housed' is very high. Without being negative you'll be very low down the list and could be waiting for years, especially in London and surrounding areas. It's sensible to get advice and apply etc to anything you are eligible for but also to be realistic about another plan. You probably would be able to claim some UC for example unless you're a high earner? The thresholds are quite high for single parents.

throwaway201809 · 24/04/2023 12:07

Are you sure you won’t be entitled to any benefits? Have you checked the calculators? If you’re low income, you may be entitled to something which would help with a private rental

Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 12:09

@Chattycathydoll thank you... I really appreciate your understanding. Loads of love to you <3

@Redebs thank you for your reply. <3

OP posts:
Chattycathydoll · 24/04/2023 12:10

throwaway201809 · 24/04/2023 12:07

Are you sure you won’t be entitled to any benefits? Have you checked the calculators? If you’re low income, you may be entitled to something which would help with a private rental

problem with this is you have to be assessed by the private landlord/agency and approved to rent first based on your income, then supply the contract to UC in order to be approved for the housing element.

If you’re not already receiving a housing element (which OP won’t be as she’s housed by family) it’s hard to get approved for a private let in the first place as your income is insufficient- even if it would be fine, once your UC covers it!

Ohyeahyousay · 24/04/2023 12:12

House sharing with young single people would be tricky, but what about sharing with another single parent? Combining households, as it were. Hopefully somebody with a young child to be a playmate and who could be some support - babysitting swaps etc.

Remember it's not just rent but all the other costs - utilities, council tax, kids' toys, clothes etc. it could work well ti be able to share some of these.

Wisterical · 24/04/2023 12:13

Do you have your own room at your parents house or are you sharing a room?

NCforthis123456 · 24/04/2023 12:13

OP - whatever replies you get here, you have 2 options.

Live with your parents
Privately rent with UC Housing Element.

Those are the two options you will have.

Social housing in London is basically not going to happen, it's just not - and even if it does, it will take YEARS.

If you want to look at Social Housing, you need to think about moving further out. Hertfordshire, Essex, Kent? maybe that sort of way.

You're REALLY going to limit your options by wanting to stay in London.

Will your parents at least give you a bit of grace once your baby is here? you'll only get UC once your child is born.

I appreciate it's worrying for you, but you're really limiting your options here.

Mamofteenager · 24/04/2023 12:14

I am a housing officer for a Welsh LA. You will be eligible and likely to be a higher priority as overcrowding. The difficulty you may face though is the lack of available housing so you may have to wait some time. If there is a risk of homelessness then your LA have a duty to provide assistance but sadly this can be in the form of temporary accommodation and could be a hostel or B&B and you can be there for a whilst whilst you wait for a property. Defiantly call Shelter for advice and also CAB to see what benefits you can claim once baby is here.

Also whilst your having a crappy time, congratulations on your rainbow baby 💗

Badbudgeter · 24/04/2023 12:20

I don’t think they count the baby until it’s been born. Then your mum writes a letter to the council saying they are overcrowded and you have to move out. If you were homeless with a child they’d house you but it’ll be somewhere awful in a temporary B and B and you’ll be there for a long time.

I don’t think you are in a good position to have a child right now.

Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 12:21

@Wisterical I am sharing a room sadly

@NCforthis123456 I don't mind living somewhere in Hertfordshire, but a lot of people here said I won't be eligible anyway
@Mamofteenager Thank you so much for your reply <3

OP posts:
Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 12:24

@Badbudgeter If you would struggle as I was for years to have this baby, and went through countless miscarriages, and chemical pregnancies, you would understand that that's the best thing that happened to me. The fact my ex acted the way he did will not make me get rid of the baby I prayed for years

OP posts:
Original poster
LisaSs · 24/04/2023 12:26

even if I won't get any help from the council, I will do everything I can to give this baby a good life I never had, I will work my ass out days/nights if needed.
All I asked for is a piece of advice on how to make this process easier for me.

Thank you.

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 24/04/2023 12:27

And telling a woman who has had lots of miscarriages that she is not in a good position to have a baby, is cruel.