Just want some reassurance

[babymummy96]

Hi everyone,

I had a MC in feb and was extremely lucky to fall pregnant again in March. I will be 9 weeks tomorrow and the WHOLE time I've just felt severe anxiety. I normally suffer with this anyway however, it is making me highly anxious and making my OCD worse.

I have been spending £75 a week on private scans just to make sure everything is ok which I know is absolutely crazy. My last scan was this Monday and I don't have another booked until I'm just over 10 weeks so a lot longer stretch this time.

It's honestly driving me crazy, anyone else like me? Or any good stories after MC? I need to calm down but really struggle to. Everyday I am checking my symptoms and if they aren't there that day, I start googling and convincing myself I'm having a MMC. I am struggling with constipation too which is causing bad tummy pain but my brain is telling me it's because something is wrong, when I know it's constipation.

I already take sertraline due to high levels of anxiety so not sure if there's anything else I can do 😭

Just wanna know I'm not the only obsessed one really!

Have you told your GP / midwife at your booking in that you're feeling like this?

There are special maternal mental health teams who can work with you on the anxiety. It might be different medications, it might be other therapies to help with the intensity.

£75 a week is unsustainable and as you're finding isn't giving you the reassurance you need.

Congratulations on your pregnancy☺️ it’s so hard after loss so you’re not alone! Some days I’d feel so down and worry about having another loss but I think that’s totally normal, especially when having a baby is something you want so desperately! I feel you on the symptoms too, my sickness when for a few days at 10 weeks and I was so panicked but everything was perfect, I’m 25 weeks now. Hopefully when you get out of the first trimester you might feel a bit better, although I still get anxious and worried, just about different things! Xx

As pp said, do talk to your midwife about getting support. I was put in touch with a bereavement midwife, which helped me massively.
The early weeks are an anxious wait and once you've had a loss, it makes them even more agonising. You're not alone in feeling this way.
Do make sure you find coping strategies though. Distract yourself, go outside, meet up with friends, and talk about your feelings with your loved ones. Chances are all will be well this time round and you will be able to enjoy this crazy ride of pregnancy and motherhood a lot more without the negative thoughts.
I was in a similar situation as you are now and even had additional complications thrown in. As time has gone on, I have learned strategies that helped me. One big one was to stop reading too much online and to shield myself from any negativity. I also read the book Pregnancy After Loss, which I can highly recommend! Wishing you all the best x

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you're feeling this anxiety. I had a third trimester loss in my first pregnancy and was pregnant again 6 months later. I was like you, booking private scan after private scan, but as I'm sure you've figured out by now, it doesn't resolve the anxiety. It may disappear for a day or two, but it comes back.
Do speak to your midwife, they should be understanding. They may even be able to arrange extra reassurance scans with the NHS.
I had support from the perinatal mental health team and had CBT counselling to help with the anxiety.
Try and remind yourself that there's no reason for anything to have gone wrong. You've seen your baby and they're doing well. Think of holding your little rainbow baby in your arms in nine months time.
It's a hard time, but try and keep reminding yourself that right now, in this moment, all is well 💙