Scan Picture - Conflict

[missrubi]

I have my 12 week scan on Monday, where I was dated 13w4, and given the babies due date, my partner came. It's out first baby and the experience was amazing, we had two pictures of the scan, one of the baby and another of the baby waving.

The following day DP came and said his mum is upset and doesn't have a picture of the baby. As she works at the hospital, she was going to get the dr to print her a copy. The next morning, I said to my DP I wasn't comfortable with her requesting a copy of the scan picture. By the evening my DIL is upset and feels "put out" as she can't have a picture of the scan. Following this, feeling emotional and overwhelmed I gave DP the scan pictures to give to DIL.
Now, I really regret this! 😟The past three nights, this has woken me from my sleep and I feel tearful, I don't want to stress myself or the baby out. This baby is very much wanted following 2 yrs of trying with a PCOS diagnosis.

What would you do? Would you address this with DP? I haven't seen my MIL, during this time.

Just message DP now telling him to get the pictures back. DP can take a pic of them and go to Boots and get them printed for about £1.50.

Sorted!

But you said there was 2 pictures so why did you give her both?

we had two pictures of the scan, one of the baby and another of the baby waving.

You’ve totally over reacted here OP, even if she did ask a doctor for a copy, they’d say no because they can’t do that, and even if they were willing no doctor has time to go searching through records for this stuff. Doctors don’t even normally do 12 week scans. So you didn’t need to give her both copies but you did, and then have cried for days about it, even though that baby in the pictures is in your body! Time to have a word with yourself and lay some boundaries down for next time or you will crack up once the baby is here. If you want an easy life you no to print her a copy at your next scan, if you aren’t comfortable with this tell your DP to tell her no, she isn’t pregnant so she doesn’t get a say, end of story. Focus on yourself and your baby and move past this.

She cannot (or very much should not be able to) get a copy of OP's scan results from work. It totally breaches patient confidentiality/data security. As a member of hospital staff I am not allowed to look up my OWN medical records, never mind those of an unrelated adult. The MiL could be in serious trouble if she does this.

In fact if OP really is concerned about this she could go via PALS to get IT to check who has accessed her record.

You need to put boundaries in with her now before this baby is born. I think there's nothing worse than granparents who try to get too involved, although it comes from a good place usually I think it's very selfish. Currently 32 weeks and trying to explain to my mum that I don't want her there whilst I'm getting a section. It might not be that type of relationship but i'd like to think she would be annoyed at herself for having your only copy but maybe have an open and honest conversation with her? At the end of the day this is your baby and your time, she's had her babies and this experience, this is all about you and your family x

Thank you every body for your replies and advice. I will be having a chat with my DP and subsequent MIL tonight about the boundaries and my future expectations on my pregnancy and baby. Yes, I do feel I was a push over with just handing them over, but I know feel after this thread I have the confidence to exert my boundaries and not give in to someone else.