39 weeks and feeling depressed - normal?

[Springbaby2023]

I’m 39+1 and utterly fed up. I have honestly never felt so miserable in my life to the point where I would genuinely say I feel depressed. Nothing is bringing me joy or making me happy. And although I’m desperate not to be pregnant anymore, part of me is thinking what’s the point when I’m then going to have all the newborn struggles to deal with, I just feel like I’m not looking forward to anyway.

I feel so physically uncomfortable and tired all the time. The other day I napped for three hours and still had to go to bed super early. This energy crash has only happened the last week or so but it’s really been a killer.

I’ve been having tonnes of Braxton hicks, some real contractions, and back ache since 36+5 but it is always a false start.

I just feel so miserable. I don’t want my partner in the same room as me, let alone talking to me or daring to touch me, everything he does is annoying the hell out me (which I know is irrational).

Please tell me this is all hormonal / normal and I’ll be back to normal when the baby arrives as I’m starting to worry things won’t get better even when baby does turn up.

This has only really started the last couple of weeks and I think is linked to me finishing work too early and having lost my routine / focus.

I’ve got a midwife appt on Tuesday so planning on speaking to her then but just wondering if anyone else feels or has felt similar and then gone on to feel ok when baby arrives.

I have a two year old DS and never felt like this with him, but did only have two days between finishing work and him arriving at dead on 38 weeks.

Ah bless you. I think it's probably that thing where you are so utterly fed up that you don't care about the childbirth any more.

You might be feeling v worried about how you will cope with your new baby and your toddler, and about how he will be affected. So instead of just being able to look forward to meeting your baby there are much more conflicting feelings.

Mainly - how on Earth will I cope and have I ruined my DS's life!

But don't forget, you will soon have a beautiful new baby - a personality all of his/her own. And your DS will find it hard to have to share you but he will probably also be really proud of and excited about his baby brother or sister.

And yes it can be chaos with two little children - but you will find a way and learn the ropes of how to manage it.

One day soon you'll overhear your two children playing and giggling together - best sound in the world!

I definitely don’t care about the birth anymore, I’m very excited for the pain of contractions as it means things will be happening, so you could be right.

Thank you so much for the reminder of what is to come and the kind words, that is exactly what I needed to hear.

Normal! Normal! Normal!

DS is now 1 month old and I also have DD. Towards the end I felt totally flat - all I wanted to do was lie on the bed staring out the window or reading shit on my phone! I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone, the nesting never kicked in. But equally I was sort of dreading having a newborn and being even more tired and all the hormones.

Happy to say once DS was born I got that huge adrenaline surge that lasted for a week or so and since then I’ve been fine. I’ve actually been a lot more emotionally stable than last time, I’m really enjoying having a little person again.

good luck 💐

@Coffeeandbourbons You’ve absolutely hit the nail on the head about how I’m feeling! So relieved to hear it is normal and won’t last forever. Congrats on the birth of your DS.

I really empathise @Springbaby2023, both currently (I am 37 weeks) and in my previous pregnancy the last few weeks I have found mentally very hard.

Everything is annoying me and upsetting me, I seem to be in a constant state of being mildly upset and just a general feeling of being off. Things are enraging me, which I know are irrational and not logical. I definitely recognise this as some form of depression. It’s awful. I am finding it easier to deal with this pregnancy as in my pregnancy first, the second I had my child the feeling went away. I would describe it as feeling like something had lifted and I felt SO MUCH better.

I am scheduled for a c section on the 29th April so the end is very much in sight for me.

Its just a few more weeks and it will get better. Sorry you’re feeling this, I know it is horrible.x

@Sallyh87 sorry to hear you are suffering too, but reassuring to know that you’ve experienced it before and it went away with baby! I didn’t have chance to feel like this with my son, I think that’s part of the issue. Good luck for your c section, not too long for you now.

Oh, I really feel for you!

I had my second DC in January and felt exactly as you describe. Really low and fed up, sad, a lot of fear re had I made the right decision having 2… found it hard to connect with DC1 as well, which was heartbreaking.

And to be totally honest, this feeling hung around a bit for the first few weeks with DC2. I felt the sleep deprivation much more than last time, found bonding hard, missed life as a 3.

BUT I am now a few months in and feeling sooo much better. I’ve adjusted to the lack of sleep, lost a bit of pregnancy weight (not much! But a bit 😊) DC2 has started to smile and gurgle at me, I’ve got more of a grove for parenting two DC. DC1 has adjusted and loves their sibling. It’s just so much easier.

So hang in there! It’s a slog but I’m sure there is light at the end of the tunnel and hang on to the lovely memories of snuggling with a baby who is grinning up at you.

Also remember that pre and post natal depression is common and normal and nothing to feel ashamed of, and often out of your control. There is a lot of brilliant support out there if you’re persistent so don’t be a hero if things are tough for too long xx

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