Fatigue in third trimester vs sleep deprivation when baby is here

[lexicodes]

I'm 31w + 4d and so exhausted. It's been a difficult pregnancy (HG, IUGR, high risk). I don't feel like working at all and can barely stay awake, some days I just stare at the wall and do nothing lol. Sleep is often a challenge because of the bump and pelvic girdle pain. Last time I did bloods was a while ago to check for gestational diabetes (came back negative), and I'm not sure if they check iron levels in that but so far nobody has said my iron is low. I'm also taking Pregnacare prenatal vitamins which has iron.

The thought that I'll be so sleep deprived once baby gets here has me all kinds of sad and worried (FTM in case it wasn't obvious 😄), even thinking of renting a Snoo once baby is here in case it helps baby sleep. I typically need at least 6-7 hours of sleep or feel useless, so that's another reason I'm super worried.

I'm even questioning if I made the right decision with deciding to have a baby, considering how much of a selfish baby I'm being about my own sleep.

How does it feel being fatigued in the third trimester compared to once the baby is here? Is it much worse or just similar? Please tell me there is some hope. 😂

I haven't slept properly in 9 months, DD is 6 months old. She's my 2nd.
Honestly you get through it because you literally have no choice. You run on hormones and adrenaline for the first 2 months then after that you tend to adapt.
I think I felt worse with lack of sleep in pregnancy then I did with a newborn, I think because in pregnancy there's nothing to focus on but with a newborn there's a constant distraction.
DD is now only waking once in the night so I sleep from around 10pm until 3am, then 3.30am until around 6.30am. Some nights she needs her dummy replacing a few times, some nights she's not bothered. I hate having broken sleep but it's not forever (I hope). DS was sleeping through by 4 months so it depends on the baby as well, they are all different and do their own thing.

I've found it much better once the baby got here, both times. Fine you might not sleep for a 8 hour stint in one go, but I got loads more sleep as I napped with baby whenever I could. I also was in so much pain at the end of pregnancy I used to wake up probably every half hour to move myself.

It depends.

With my second child the pregnant exhaustion was so much worse than the newborn phase. I felt like a million dollars once the baby was finally out of me and not pushing my skeleton apart. Second child was a normal ish baby- up a few times a night- but still better than pregnancy.

My first child was much harder work as newborn due to feeding difficulties and the pregnancy was less exhausting (I suppose because I didn't have to also look after a toddler).

You might feel a lot better. And at least other people can help you with the baby. The pregnancy is all on you and you can't leave it in another room with someone else and walk out like you can with a baby.

I slept so much better with a newborn than when I was pregnant, both times.

It will totally depend on your baby and how the pregnancy feels. I’m only 22 weeks this time round but with my daughter pregnancy sleep was broken but I was used to broken sleep as I’ve never not had broken sleep but my daughter was an awful sleeper and woke up constantly and only napped in my arms or in her pram so I was exhausted. Tiredness with a newborn was much worse for me that pregnancy tiredness was but I didn’t have another child to look after then. Who knows what it will be like this time and I have to admit it is the one thing I’m nervous about but I got through it before I’ll get through it again

If you are suffering and have fatigue / low iron then you will definitely want to invest in a higher quality prenatal vitamin.

Pregnacare is low quality ingredients not hugely bioavailable.

Buy some Iron Bisglycinate which is gentle on the stomach and is easily absorbed.

Have a look at the Inessa Prenatal or Her9.

Or get a methylated B complex.

Third trimester is tiring, but it doesn't have to be quite as bad as you feel.

I slept so much better when baby was here - not because baby slept (ha!) but because I had my body back and could get comfortable!! Sending so much support - end of pregnancy is HARD!! and I'm about to enter it again soon too! Eek!

The last trimester is so uncomfortable. I’d forgotten how sore you feel a lot of the time (had my baby late 2020.) Now expecting his brother or sister in July.

I think at first you do have this sort of crazy time where night and day are virtually indistinguishable but they sleep a lot in those first few weeks, and your partner should be off too. Take turns so you can sleep.

After six to eight weeks - I won’t lie and say all is fine but there is more of a routine and rhythm. DS used to go down at around 830/9 and would do a good stretch until around 1/2 am. Then he’d wake for a feed and I’d usually get him back down and myself back to sleep by 3/4, and then DH would take him in the morning for a couple of hours. So all in all not so bad.

I suffered from hg and awful hip pain during pregnancy. Sleep was pretty much non existent from 6wks as I vomited all night (you obviously know how that goes) and then when the vomiting subsided around 30 weeks I then had awful hip pain and had to wee a million times a night.
And then my dd came and I averaged about 1-4 hours a night for the first 5 weeks (she wouldn't sleep unless on my chest) then the sleep stretches got a little longer by 6 weeks we got 6 hour stretch at the beginning of the night followed by 3hr feed, 3 hr etc. She's 6 months now and she's slept 11-12 hours a night since 12 weeks. No sleep training I've just lucked out, as I've been told a million times over. You never know what kind of sleeper your going to have. But hopefully after an awful pregnancy you'll be blessed with a good one 🤞🏼

Also I forgot to say, the sleep deprivation with a newborn is something else but you do just survive it, your body just takes over and runs on adrenaline! You will be fine!!

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the responses. Wishing everyone a smooth pregnancy and fourth trimester. 🙂

@eggboxontop - thank you, I'll definitely check out those out. I was worried about iron supplements causing constipation but it seems like that form is much better.

I'd take the sleeplessness of having a baby over the fatigue of late pregnancy. But it probably depends on how badly your baby sleeps! The first few newborn weeks are tough but a lot of that is adjusting. I found it easier when I felt better in myself even with less sleep!

My last pregnancy, I had this all encompassing body fatigue in the third trimester that I knew just wouldn’t go, regardless of how much sleep I got. I felt a thousand times better than that during the newborn stage - don’t get me wrong, I was tired with a newborn, but it was a normal kind of tired rather than the third trimester kind!

Depends on the baby...my first napped well and slept through from 12 Weeks. My second (currently nearly 7 month old), would only sleep when held for 10 weeks, and wakes every 90 mins now! I breastfeed and Co sleep which has been a godsend. It's true your body does adapt and you get through it. I'm sure the breastfeeding hormones are helping me. I know if ff DH could help with night feeds...but I'd probably be awake anyway. Good luck and congratulations

For my first I was really concerned about this as well but honestly I found the newborn stafe easier than being pregnant.

My DH and I slept in separate rooms and DD moved between us so that we could always guarantee a decent sleep every other night.

Pregnancy sucks in my experience.

Firstly, you are not a selfish baby, pregnancy can be really tough on a body (you are actually producing a new person) and sleep deprivation is brutal (let's not forget it is actually a form of torture). I was also worried about that, having had pretty bad insomnia during pregnancy, but I confirm newborn stage is not as bad as I thought. At least you can split the nights with your partner, or delegate to a supportive family member or a night nurse (if you can afford it...).

I had this exact fear. Pregnancy was far worse for me. They are different, but sleep deprivation can be aided by a hot shower and a coffee. Pregnancy exhaustion to me was so deep and bone weary. I remember taking the stairs two at a time a week post partum (c section) and thinking, I feel like myself again!

I'm a father so I can't comment on the pregnancy, but I know my wife found it much easier after birth because I could take the baby for hours on end while she caught up on sleep. She hated the sleep deprivation during pregnancy and was muuuch happier and less tired after birth. Suppose it depends on the child though

This is an amazing thread thank you so much for posting and for the comments. I'm 34 weeks, so in countdown mode and just feel so awful all the time. I am having these exact same fears but this has really put my mind at rest

i think it depends on your baby. For me having a newborn was much worse than tiredness in pregnancy. She was up every couple of hours for the first few months and I didn’t get a solid stretch of sleep for a long time. It was relentless tiredness and one good night almost made it worse. I’m pregnant with my second now and the tiredness just doesn’t compare. I’m hoping for an easier sleeper this time though, as I know others have had different experiences.

My oldest was a terrible, terrible sleeper & I still found the fatigue of pregnancy much, much worse. It’s a different kind of tired. Plus you get the baby cuddles!

Every baby is different (I have 3 & they were all completely different when it came to sleep) so try not to worry before you know what you’re actually dealing with.

Nothing is as exhausting as being pregnant. Having a baby who doesn't sleep well is not as bad.
I didn't have an unbroken night for 12 years due to number and spacing of DC, but being pregnant was worse.

I've got 3 DCs - teens now and quite close together. None of them were great sleepers and the sleep deprevation obviously wasn't great. For me though, nothing compared to the awful pregnancy fatigue/exhaustion I had. I was weary to my bones for a lot of all 3 pregnancies. When I was pregnant it didn't matter how much I slept or what I did the feeling just didn't go away whereas with a baby when you get a chance to get some rest you really quickly feel better. I occasionally get the same fatigue now I'm menopausal and it's just horrible. I think it's a luck thing due to hormones so you might find it's nowhere near as bad as you expect. Good luck!

This was me too! I remember playing chase with toddler DC1 not long after DC2 was born and just laughing because i felt normal again!