25+4 and increasingly anxious about pregnancy and baby

[LittleBow89]

Hello,

Don‘t know if this will resonate with anyone but currently I’m feeling quite worried and anxious about my pregnancy.

Right now I‘m 25+4 and expecting a little boy. Obviously over the moon and this is a much longed for pregnancy. No MCs or anything like that. I did have a couple of medical abortions that when I reflect on make me extremely upset (I’m 100% pro choice of course and want every woman to have the right to chose).

My problem is that as time goes on, I’m getting increasingly worried about ‘something going wrong‘, not that I want to say, but I mean the worst case scenario. I know it’s irrational. I know every week that goes by he is safer but I just can’t seem to stop thinking the worst.

Last night around midnight for example he was doing some almighty kicks - one was particularly strong which took me massively by surprise. I burst into tears because i was worried he was in trouble, struggling or in pain etc. My partner just explained that no, this is all normal and it’s a sign he’s getting stronger, growing etc. It just really winded me! I don’t have concerns about his movements really, they seem quite normal for now.

Then over the weekend my partner found a very small amount of blood on the sheets, on his side of the bed, very low down so I don’t see how it could have come from me at all. Seemed more like he got a nick on his leg or foot but we couldn’t find a scratch mark on him or me. It was baffling and annoying and it got me worrying that I had bled after sex or something. But I’ve never noticed blood from me following sex or when I go to the bathroom etc.

i know I should get therapy so I my will start looking into this, but anyone else ever feel this way? I don’t want to
wish this time away and I really want to enjoy pregnancy but as I was saying to my partner last night, I just can’t wait to give birth and for the labour experience - it would be such a privilege and the point where I could finally hold and cherish my baby, I feel kind of vulnerable until this point.

I also read a thread the other day where a PP lost her little one in week 33, poor thing, and this has triggered me something terrible. The thought of this is terrifying.

12 week scan, private NIPT test and 20 week scan all great according to the medical practitioners. Should I get a private scan to put my mind at ease a bit?

Next MW appointment is next Monday, so will raise my concerns then.

Thanks so much

LB xx

Don’t feed the anxiety by constantly seeking reassurance by way of extra scans and tests. That will perpetuate it.

However, you don’t want this anxiety growing and ruining your pregnancy and birth, and lingering into postpartum anxiety. It is crippling.

Talk to your midwife, ask for an urgent perinatal mental health referral and get some support for it now. You’re seeing everything as a negative when it should be a positive (the kicks) and you’re becoming extremely anxious about things most people wouldn’t register (speck of blood on your husband’s side of the bed).

Thanks @Peapodburgundybouquet. Noted. I’ll get this addressed and manage it as best as possible. Cheers

I felt exactly the same, was wishing the weeks away and was a constant nervous wreck throughout pregnancy. Had lots of private scans, was always phoning my midwife etc.
My baby did end up coming early and I had several bleeds in my pregnancy which was terrifying. But we are all ok - so even if something bad does happen it's not always as bad as you think it will be if that makes sense.

As above, don’t wait, get the ball rolling with this now. These levels of anxiety can be markers for pre or post natal depression and you need to get support measures in place now. Everyone has a certain level of anxiety during pregnancy but when it starts to get out of hand it needs looking at. I wouldn’t go down the route of scans as that will only be a reassurance during the scan and then the anxiety will creep in again.

Sorry, I was on the train when I wrote that. It came across as ‘brusquer’ than intended.

@Peapodburgundybouquet oh haha dont worry. It didn’t come across that way, just logical and rational

@Costaflatwhite Im so glad you’re all ok! Thanks for sharing x

thank you @PickledScrump Ill address it with the mw next week.

I was at a postnatal group with our perinatal lead today and she explained that you can self refer during pregnancy and postnatally. If you google IAPT or “talking therapy” for your area, you should get a link. It might get you help without waiting to see your midwife.