Having a child at 40

[Mikogirl]

Hi! I'm almost 40 and would like to have my second child. Am I too old? Had my first child at 36. My worry is that it increases health risks for the baby? Any advice is appreciated, I'm very nervous.

Well if you are I am, had my baby at 38 I'm 39 and wanting to try for another soon. No advice just solidarity and to let you know you're not the only one.

I got pregnant for the first time at 40. I opted for some antenatal testing (cvb) which was fine, I had no problems during pregnancy.

@Florencey Thank you. I'm very nervous and know that it's daft as I've read about much older women having children. I don't think I quite understand the risks involved - it's higher for eg with Down syndrome. I'm just very unsure and also not sure on higher risks of miscarriages.

That's a relief to hear, thank you for sharing.

I had my last child at 44 years, no issue during the pregnancy, I did not do any test to check if my child had down syndrome as it won't have make any difference to me. My child was born with no medical issue. Only complaint I have about kids at that age especially now that she is 11 is some people assume you are the grand mother. Not great for self esteem 😕 😪

I got pregnant first time with IVF at 39 and had her at 40 - also started doing my management degree - I must like things tough! I'm also a T1 diabetic, so had a heck of a lot of clinic visits - weekly mainly!
She's 25 now and a reception teacher

I thought the risks of being an older mum are increased, but aren't actually that much bigger. Aren't teen mums at high risk of Downs Syndrome?
Women have always had babies into their 40's and I know so many who have. Trust your gut feeling on it.

I had my only child at 41 after 8 years of trying. I think the only thing I would watch out for is medical staff's attitude towards you as a 'geriatric ' mum - their term.
My baby was diagnosed with club feet at the 20 week scan and although that was nothing to do with my age, they assumed it was a marker for something more serious, associated with being an older mum. They even started talking about a termination within about 15 mins! It wasn't and everything was fine, but I think they jump to conclusions sometimes, expecting there to be problems just because you're older.
Might just be my experience but it doesn't hurt to be aware it's possible.

Had my 2nd at 43. Pregnancy was good, had few more tests and advised I was fit and healthy to have a baby, I'm going through menopause now and baby is now 8.

I had my third at 41. Baby was fine and is a beautiful healthy child.
I however am now exhausted and menopausal. Not great with a young child to keep up with.

First and only at 43, nature said it was my moment. Had all the tests - ambio etc. DC born early. GP said it was cos I was older that I got pre eclampsia. Health visitor said this was rubbish and the ages of the other mums who had same would bear this out. DC 17 now and doing really well in Yr12

I had my first at 36, second at a few days past my 41st birthday. They are both absolutely perfect.
I had the tests that can check for as much as possible, all clear.
Best of luck.

Thank you ladies! That's good to know and I feel better. When I was pregnant with my first, I struggled with BF and midwife told me it's harder for older mums and that younger ones don't have many issues.

Going to TTC, keep fingers crossed for me!

I've never heard that about breastfeeding (that it's harder for older mums) . I found it hard work to establish, but then plain sailing and so much easier (no faffing with bottles, sterilisers etc) and of course it's free! I bf DD1 until I was pg with DD2 when she self weaned, I think the milk tasted different. Bf DD2 until she was nearly 4.

That's a completely false statement about breastfeeding! What way did you struggle if you don't mind me asking? There are so many misconceptions about breastfeeding and midwives and health visitors actually don't have specialist knowledge about it just a general overview.

I breastfed fine at 43 and fed for 4 years. No issues at all. I've never heard it's harder for older mums.
Also fed my first at 33 years old and for 2 years. I didn't notice any difference between the 10 years

I had a second baby at 42 with no issues. You're not too old.

I couldn't get baby to latch and struggled with positions. Gave up after a few days as couldn't tolerate the pressure from the midwives. That's when she told me!

Bless you, I'm so sorry that happened to you. There shouldn't have been any pressure on you. You should have received support if that's what you were wanting to do. I found the national breastfeeding association to be very helpful and a couple of things midwives had said to me were apparently not up to date advice. Not blaming midwives they are wonderful but not all are experts in breastfeeding.

if you have issues with latch and positions there's lots of things you can try and i have never heard it been anything to do with age 36 isn't even old!

if you do decide to try for another baby and wish to try breastfeeding again I'd recommend Reddit the breastfeeding subs on there were a huge support to me when my baby had a tongue tie. I'm still breastfeeding now 8 months on and I'm an older mum.

good luck with whatever you decide :)

@Florencey Thank you, it wasn't a pleasant experience for me. To this day I regret not BFing, I'm hoping to do so with baby no. 2 :)

Only complaint I have about kids at that age especially now that she is 11 is some people assume you are the grand mother. Not great for self esteem

This and the fact that you may begin to suffer with premenopausal symptoms from your mid 40s

I'm 41 with a seven month old, had DD1 at 34. I've had no issues with breastfeeding other than being so engorged the first few days my milk came in and not being able to get her to latch. With the help of midwives and a breast pump all was back to normal within a couple of days. Nothing to do with age. We had the NIPT test at 10 weeks and all came back fine, I'm fitter than I was first time around, just more wrinkles :) I was nervous too, we were originally one and done, then DH admitted when we turned 40 that he wanted another.

My friend had her second set of twins at 47. Her first set were 17!
All well.

Wow, Id be so happy to have raised twins and look forward to spending time NOT raising kids! I cannot imagine doing it all again?!!

I hope not. If I do fall pregnant the very youngest I can be now is 40.