How did you know you weren't having any more baby's?

[CaseyL20]

I have three daughters (5, 4 and nearly 2) and one angel son (I had to have an arranged medical miscarriage as at my 12 week scan (January 2023). The baby was diagnosed with fetal acrania which they said he wouldn't survive for very long after birth). Anyway, how do you know you are finished having babies? I feel like I don't know whether I want another baby because I'm wondering 'what if' or because I genuinely want another baby. I know I am very lucky with the three I already have but I feel like if I was to have another baby I would like to have one soon seeing as my youngest is still small. I need some advice on how to know what to do.

After I had my last we tried again a couple of years later which ended in a missed misscariage, I had to have a d&c and I just knew there and then that it was a sign my body was telling me not to do it again. My last was also a hard baby (she's currently being assessed for adhd) I stopped feeling broody and started pitying pregnant woman and those going through the baby, toddler stage (all the stages I loved) I felt no broodiness when I held my newborn nieces and nephews and that's when I just knew I never wanted to go through it all again. I was sterilised 18months ago and it was the best decision I ever made.

I used to wonder when women knew they was done. But when you know you know. I'd say if your questioning it then your not done x

Because I have 4 which are 2 boys and 2 girls so ideal for me and I don’t want any more than 4 also I’m now single and don’t want children with another man (no judgment to those that have different fathers for their kids just didn’t want that personally) I’ve also found 4 very hard (but that could be because I’m a single parent) and I haven’t found they just slot in like so many say I’ve found 4 considerably harder than 3.

I always wanted three, had two boys then couldn't afford a third, when I was 35 we could afford a third, I had four miscarriages, the last at 16 weeks so I figured it was my body saying no you can't do this. It's now ten years later and I would of liked a third but am happy with what I have got.

When DS and I nearly died during his birth ( EMCS at 34 weeks under general, vasa previa ). The pregnancy was bad enough with lots of bleeding episodes and bear delivery's but the birth sealed it for me, I was told I would likely have to have a hysterectomy whilst under but fortunately they were able to stop the bleeding.

I've always been a huge lovely of pregnancies and babies - as soon as DC2 was born i knew i wasnt 'done' but not any more, no thanks. My period was late last month and it made me realise how much the thought absolutely terrifies me. Have 0 interest in holding other people's newborns either.

And yes I am seeking help for my PTSD

So sorry op for your loss

We had 2 boys aged 8/9 but I have always wanted a daughter. Boys are bloody fantastic but I really wanted a girl. Dh always wanted more so got pregnant and had an amino. Twin dds!

We knew after the girls that was us done and we were then 36 so made sense.

Dds now 22.. best decision we made. But you know when you are done or not done emotionally.

My husband already had two then we had two. I was also 43 when I had my second and really why push my luck?
As it happens, my husband died suddenly so I was a lone parent of two little ones. It would have been exponentially harder if I had a baby in arms at that time.

Thank you all for your replies! It really is such a hard decision especially with my loss being so new. My oldest is only in Reception and I'm still quite young so I chess time will tell

On the way between labour ward and postnatal I realised there was no way on earth I was doing that again.

I just knew 100%, as soon as I got the positive test for dc3, that 3 was the maximum number of children I could parent well. I wanted to give them all lots of love, time and attention, and keep working part time (maintaining financial independence for me) and still have some energy left over for myself and our relationship. I couldn’t see how that balance would be possible with more than 3.

Did you end up having a third?