Surprised by gender disappointment.

[PickledScrump]

Has anyone else had unexpected gender disappointment? I have two girls already and had no preference with either. Now pregnant with my third (and last) and had my scan 12 week scan and I’m pretty sure it’s another girl. Since then I’ve had a bit of disappointment sneaking in, I really thought I had no preference again but now I do feel a little bit sad that I won’t have a little boy. Of course I still love this baby as much as the others, but I think I just always thought I’d have a boy at some point. I know gender disappointment isn’t talked about a lot, just wondered if anyone else has been taken by surprise by it. I feel really guilty about it.

I think it’s perfectly fine to admit after 2 girls you wanted a boy. I definitely would hVe !

I understand what you mean I have 3 boys and I am having another boy. It wasn't a massive amount of disappointment more accepting that I will never have a daughter as I cannot do this again. It is also the constant hounding from even strangers saying are you trying for a girl (no) are you disappointed (no) and saying they feel sorry for me which makes me feel like I should be disappointed which is confusing. But I have had 4 miscarriages so the only priority for me is a healthy baby.

I get where you're coming from and it's okay to feel a little bit disappointed. I had 2 girls, then a boy and I do admit I would've loved another boy to balance it out but really feel deep down this is another girl. I know my husband feels the same way, it can't be helped 💐

I totally get this, I have a DD3, who is perfect and couldn’t be loved more. This pregnancy, I was sure it was a boy and was a little disappointed when it was confirmed it was a girl. I think I just wanted one of each. Silly!

Anyway, needless to say, this feeling passed fairly quickly and now I’m just excited for my two little girls.

Perfectly normal especially with this being your last baby. It's that never knowing what having a little boy would be like. I remember being really scared with dc2 over them being the opposite to dc1, I had a slight pang of oh it's a... Quickly got over it and wouldn't change it for the world.

Gender disappointment is very real and very normal. You need to be kind to yourself. It will pass, I assure you. Congratulations!

Think about positives of having another same gender. Even though I'm sure my partner would like boy, he already has 3 daughters including 2 ours ....I had quiet preference for another girl and it turned out to be another lady in the house lol. I fee a bit guilty for my wish to come true but I have 11and 13 year old daughters who already have great bond with eachother. Having baby sister will make them more encouraged to get involved and as for me I'm used to girls, I know how to get to them and frankly I was a bit of a are of prospect of having boy. Having 2 each sex is not always as great when they get into teenage years, next door neighbours 15 year old daughter keeps screaming and bossing around her 14 years old brother but he is a bit of on naughty side too so they get on eachother nerves. As boys and girls grow up there are more differences that can cause friction. On the end of day is how you bring up your kids that matters and think for minute why you wanted one of each...is it because how you really feel or because of social pressure and other people assuming that boy + girl = perfect family.

Why do you think you’re having a girl?

It's sex. Gender is a social construct.

We've got a live one!

I totally get it. My youngest is nearly 6 months now, he's my second boy and will be our last. I really hoped for a girl as I loved the idea of one of each and I knew I wouldn't be doing it again due to having really difficult pregnancies.

When I found out he was a boy I was disappointed for a while and now I feel so guilty at times as I love him so much. Maybe I'm just supposed to be a 'boy mum'. Our family feels complete and I couldn't imagine it any other way.

It's normal to have these feelings especially when you've imagined your life in a particular way. It will pass, try not to worry!

How can you tell at a 12 week scan?

@violetskypurple nub theory , pretty accurate

Thank you everyone. I think a few of you have hit the nail on the head. It’s not disappointment as such, I love having girls, and I’m sure they’ll be really close. It’s more sadness for the little boy I’ll never have as this is definitely the last. I always pictured myself with a boy at some point.

@Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily we havent done an announcement this time so far as I don’t want all the comments about trying for a boy. I had that with my second and it was really irritating. Luckily I’m still able to hide it so just enjoying the bubble with just close family.

@Charlieiscool @violetskypurple nub theory is very accurate if you have decent images and know what you’re looking at. I’ve asked people who know what they’re looking for and it’s pretty unanimous on it being a girl.

Completely normal and valid feeling but you know good and well from your previous 2 experiences that the second you hold your baby you won't even care.

Totally normal, whether it’s genuine disappointment or just the feeling you’ll never have the experience of having a boy.

Don’t feel bad about it and don’t worry about it - it’ll pass.

Totally normal, I have two boys and had a gender scan yesterday with our last baby and we are having another boy, was so desperate for a girl but I suppose it wasn't meant to be ❤️

Nub theory at 12 weeks is absolutely not considered accurate and you won’t find professionals using it. I’ve seen people on here hazard guesses when the image doesn’t even have the nub on it. Good luck either way, I am sure you will be delighted with your baby.

I'm friendly with a family who kept on having boys and kept on trying until they got a girl. They ended up with 8 children!

I had 2 girls and when I found out my 3rd was a girl I had a slight niggly moment of 'I was hopeful it was a boy'. But oh my goodness am I glad she was a girl now. The three of them play so nicely and they are all on the same wavelength with their games and imaginations. I highly doubt that would have been the case if no3 had turned out to be a boy. And having seen some of my friends boys and their behaviour, I'm even more pleased I have 3 girls. Might come back and bit me when they're all teens but for now it's simply perfect.