Page 2 | Abortion or not?

Mummatob · 2023-04-13T15:05:13+00:00

So I’m 19 I’m a mum of a 2 year old and 9 month old I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and booked in for an abortion on Saturday less than 48 hours away, I really don’t no what to do if I should go ahead with abortion or not I’ve had weeks to think about it but I am not coming any closer to a decision. My family are very for me having abortion (they haven’t said this) but definitely get that vibe from them when discussing it and this time round it was more like everyone was like “oh shit” when they found out I was pregnant rather than happy like the other 2 pregnancy’s. I don’t no if my decision for booking the abortion has been influenced by my family as I was kinda just expected to go for the abortion by them. One day I’m all for the abortion and think it’s the best decision for me and my kids and the next day I’m wanting to keep the baby. I’ve weighed up the pros and cons I thought about it for weeks and still cannot make a decision I really don’t no what to do

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:16

AllOfThemWitches · 13/04/2023 16:17

There is no 'baby' at this stage and 3 kids is hard.

Of course there's a baby! 10 weeks is a pretty much fully developed fetus.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2023 19:19

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:16

Of course there's a baby! 10 weeks is a pretty much fully developed fetus.

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No, no it's not, it has potential to be a baby but as you said at the end of your sentence it is a fetus.
It wouldn't even survive outside of the womb right now, so no, it's not a baby.

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:21

Mumma29x · 15/04/2023 19:12

Wow I am shocked at some of the responses on this post. I really don’t understand why people feel the need to try belittle a stranger. Why assume because someone is “unmarried” they would be worse off looking after another baby than someone that is married. Also assuming because someone is 19 and might not have an aspiring career that they are unable to have another child, when it has been stated they are finically stable and her partner has his own business, very judgemental!

What I would say is that you don’t seem 100 % towards the abortion therefore it’s important that you give yourself more time to come to a decision you can be more sure about. Go with your heart and what is best for you and your family.

hope your okay regardless of what you choose

xx

So was I! People are so judgemental....not everyone wants a high flying career, degrees and lots of money.Some people find happiness and good fortune in other ways.Ultimately the basics of enough money for the essentials, a stable home & a positive parental relationship are all there, so what's the problem?? So what if OP is 19...
Some 19yos make fantastic mums and she has already been there twice before so clearly wants to go down the path of parenthood at a younger age.

If you want the baby OP have the baby....don't listen to family or friends trying to sway your decision.Its yours and your partner's choice not theirs.

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:25

TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2023 19:19

No, no it's not, it has potential to be a baby but as you said at the end of your sentence it is a fetus.
It wouldn't even survive outside of the womb right now, so no, it's not a baby.

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10 weeks pregnant;
'Your baby, or foetus, is now around 30mm long from head to bottom, which is about the size of a small apricot. The baby will be making jerky movements and baby's movement can be seen on a scan. Your baby is going through another huge growth spurt'

Taken from the NHS website....look how many times they say the word 'baby' in this paragraph!

I know it's easier to not think of a fetus as a baby for people considering abortions....but it still is.

Littlelighthouse · 15/04/2023 19:51

It's such a difficult decision to make, and one that ultimately only parents can make. Strangers on the internet will always have differing opinions, some will sadly try and push one way or the other because of their own beliefs, but they're not living the life of the individual. An impossible choice.

SittingNextToIt · 15/04/2023 20:01

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:25

10 weeks pregnant;
'Your baby, or foetus, is now around 30mm long from head to bottom, which is about the size of a small apricot. The baby will be making jerky movements and baby's movement can be seen on a scan. Your baby is going through another huge growth spurt'

Taken from the NHS website....look how many times they say the word 'baby' in this paragraph!

I know it's easier to not think of a fetus as a baby for people considering abortions....but it still is.

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Let me hazard a guess. You don’t support women’s unfettered right to abortion do you?

greyhairnomore · 15/04/2023 20:02

@Mummyof287 it couldn't survive.

HowcanIhelp123 · 15/04/2023 20:14

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:25

10 weeks pregnant;
'Your baby, or foetus, is now around 30mm long from head to bottom, which is about the size of a small apricot. The baby will be making jerky movements and baby's movement can be seen on a scan. Your baby is going through another huge growth spurt'

Taken from the NHS website....look how many times they say the word 'baby' in this paragraph!

I know it's easier to not think of a fetus as a baby for people considering abortions....but it still is.

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Categorically untrue and very unhelpful for someone in the position of making a very difficult choice.

Those NHS pages are targeted at people who have decided to follow through with the pregnancy and are designed to help them connect with their pregnancy.

A 10 week old foetus has no chance of survival, its literally 3cm on a ruler. Yes, the BEGINNINGS of systems are there, but they have no hope in hell of being remotely functional. The lungs bronchioles are not developed until 16 weeks, and are not fully formed until 36 weeks. The kidneys cannot produce urine until 13 weeks. It is no where near a 'pretty much developed fetus'. Even those born much more developed at 20 odd weeks struggle to survive with significant medical intervention.

Also baby is not a technical term assigned to any stage. Baby can be used at zygote, embryo and foetal stages. Even for those very early pregnancies that have no chance of becoming a child due to catastrophic genetic abnormalities and will miscarry early. Baby is entirely terminology used by pro-lifers to try to put people off aborting.

Mumma29x · 15/04/2023 20:28

@Mummyof287 Completely agree. More a representation of how that person feels, that a good career and lots of money makes them a good parent. It’s just not how life works! I had my kids young at 19 and completed my degree by 26. I don’t think having a degree or career has contributed to the type of parent I am to my children!

I have known lots of amazing mums regardless of what age or their financial status. As you said a stable home and good relationship I feel are the most important to raising happy children.

If OP wants the baby then who cares what family etc thinks. Got to do what makes you happy 😊

AllOfThemWitches · 15/04/2023 20:34

Mummyof287 · 15/04/2023 19:16

Of course there's a baby! 10 weeks is a pretty much fully developed fetus.

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Bullshit. It would be considered a miscarriage if the pregnancy ended spontaneously.

Disclaimer: I really don't mean to talk about this flippantly and I know it's not just a 'bunch of cells' to someone who has suffered a loss, I know a woman's mindset depends on her feelings about the pregnancy.

AllOfThemWitches · 15/04/2023 20:35

HowcanIhelp123 · 15/04/2023 20:14

Categorically untrue and very unhelpful for someone in the position of making a very difficult choice.

Those NHS pages are targeted at people who have decided to follow through with the pregnancy and are designed to help them connect with their pregnancy.

A 10 week old foetus has no chance of survival, its literally 3cm on a ruler. Yes, the BEGINNINGS of systems are there, but they have no hope in hell of being remotely functional. The lungs bronchioles are not developed until 16 weeks, and are not fully formed until 36 weeks. The kidneys cannot produce urine until 13 weeks. It is no where near a 'pretty much developed fetus'. Even those born much more developed at 20 odd weeks struggle to survive with significant medical intervention.

Also baby is not a technical term assigned to any stage. Baby can be used at zygote, embryo and foetal stages. Even for those very early pregnancies that have no chance of becoming a child due to catastrophic genetic abnormalities and will miscarry early. Baby is entirely terminology used by pro-lifers to try to put people off aborting.

Show quote history

Thank you for this.

Pollyputthekettleonha · 15/04/2023 20:36

If you're okay financially, want another baby, albeit it's a bit sooner than expected, and have a good and supportive partner I can't see any reason why you'd abort. It's not up to your family. It's you and your partner that have to live with the outcome.
However please double up on your contraception whatever you decide, you do not want to end up with this happening again and really struggling to support them all.

Unicorn2023 · 17/04/2023 09:27

I would have the baby ♥️ if your husband has a great job and you stay at home to look after them then go for it. I wouldn’t let anyone make my mind up for me because you will only end up hating them after it when you are regretting having it done. Please think carefully before you decide on other’s reactions if they aren’t watching your kids I don’t see the problem 😘🤗 x

newpotatoesalad · 17/04/2023 10:38

Have your baby.

You are financially stable. Your partner is supportive and you seek to be coping well at the moment. Remember it isn't your family who has to deal with aftermath of an abortion (that you don't really want judging from your post.)

Don't let anyone influence you. It isn't up to them.

LisaSs · 25/04/2023 16:23

Hi x what you decided eventually?

IVFmamabear · 25/04/2023 16:26

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LisaSs · 25/04/2023 16:27

@IVFmamabear another judgemental cow.

violetskypurple · 25/04/2023 16:30

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Stop being bitter. Nothing wrong with not being married.

NatGee · 25/04/2023 16:50

Just picked up on this thread, how are you OP? xx

Jakam21 · 15/12/2023 21:31

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mycoffeecup · 15/12/2023 21:41

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What a thoughtless post. The OP posted in April so has made her decision one way or the other by now. reporting to get yours removed.

Nikkiann36 · 10/02/2024 20:14

What did you do? I'm 36 and comfortable life but 2 difficult child and unsure what's the best x