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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Drained, upset and can’t see the end

7 replies

Winginitt · 10/04/2023 07:51

Hi MNers. I’m not even sure what this post is for I think sometimes a good old moan to strangers on the internet always helps.

STM - I haven’t had the nicest pregnancy, it’s been pretty painful and baby boy has poorly kidneys which really hasn’t helped my anxiety at all, for this reason, and the fact I have a child at home and limited childcare after losing my mom in January, consultant was really understanding I’d need to have a plan, I was booked to be induced yesterday. For the last 3 weeks I’ve tried everything to bring on labour naturally with no luck so I was really excited to get the ball rolling.

Called at 10am like I was instructed, midwife on call even said ‘ah is this my name?’ Got asked to go in for 1pm, was monitored and examined, 2 cm - which is odd considering I was 3 on Wednesday at my sweep but didn’t question it. Midwife said I can break your waters but procedure here is that we send you home and you go on a waiting list and we call you when there’s a bed available on the delivery ward, or I can give you a pessary as I do believe this will kick start labour naturally, so I opted for the pessary. That was inserted at 2:30, I started to contract almost instantly, they were a minute and a half together and lasting around 40 seconds, I was in tears due to the pain and was offered paracetamol and then codeine which didn’t touch the sides. All the time this was happening this midwife is saying things are working, labour is happening. Pessary was taken out at 7pm and I was given the most painful examination/sweep of my life and I had barely moved. Contractions were still painful but were fizzling out. Another midwife came to take the monitor off me and said she’d ‘eat her hat if she arrives at work in the morning and baby isn’t here’.

At 8pm the midwives had handover and just before 9 a new midwife came to introduce herself to tell me I had actually hyperstimulated because of the pessary and that I was not in labour. She said I’m on a list to have my waters broken but she couldn’t say when that would be and that it could literally be days. She wasn’t prepared to examine me and I needed no further monitoring so the advice was to just stay in hospital and wait to have my waters broken, no drip would be offered until my waters were broken either. It was coming up to 10pm, which meant visitors needed to go home and I was getting upset and anxious so asked if I could go home with DP, I was told that was fine, I can wait for the phone call to come in to have my waters broken but would need to return to hospital twice a day for CTG monitoring until then, she has booked me an appointment for today and instructed them to do the same tomorrow at my closest hospital (that unfortunately you can’t give birth at and is closer than an hour away like the other). So I’m well aware this could take days before they break my waters.

I’ve come home and got some sleep. I’ve been awake an hour maybe, not a single contraction. I feel utterly deflated. Yesterday was the most emotionally draining experience, I am home with no baby and feel like it was a total waste of time, my mental health isn’t the best anyway and I can feel myself becoming low over this. It’s the Easter holidays, everyone is due back at work tomorrow and now I could potentially be in a situation where I give birth alone, without DP because he may have to have DD if no one is available. Sorry for my long rant, I don’t know what else to do but to moan and sob today.

OP posts:
Sweeted · 10/04/2023 09:08

Oh, that sounds rubbish.

I know how you feel. With my second, I had SPD really bad. My pelvis was coming apart, I was on crutches and every single step felt like a burning hot poker was being applied to my pubic bone. They gave me a date to induce me. They cancelled it four times. Finally I was called in. The pessary hyperstimulated me too. It was horrible! I was waiting in hospital to have my waters broken for two days. It was so stressful and draining and to be promised an end to a difficult pregnancy and a baby in your arms by the morning- and then not have that- that's such an upsetting thing to experience.

My baby did come before they broke my waters. Hilariously enough, someone came into my room to take me to have my waters broken when I was back from delivery, breastfeeding my son. I told them they were a little bit too late!

From insertion of horrible pessary and sickeningly painful sweep to baby in arms was 53 hours. Hours in actual labour as measured by CTG were 14. Delivery was so much easier than my first too.

I know it's frustrating and stressful and just overwhelming right now but your baby is coming. Perhaps not today but very soon. I understand that losing your mother has possibly left you with a bit of a lower reserve to cope with upsetting things at the moment, so be kind to yourself. Eat something lovely, watch something you like and ask your partner to sort out a plan with someone to have DD when you go in, regardless of the day. Don't take on that stress.

Good luck to you. Xx

Surprisepregnancy1 · 10/04/2023 13:48

Oh you poor thing. It is good to vent! I can so sympathise in terms of feeling the loss of your mum and the lack of support this time. A baby with potential kidney issues would be so stressful and upsetting too. I lost my mum a little over a year ago and just don’t feel like I have the right support for this birth as she isn’t here to help (currently 37 weeks with no. 3 and have had a pretty difficult pregnancy at times).

That said, I’m sure when push comes to (well, lots of contracting and pushing!! ) I’m sure your friends and family will step up. Don’t be afraid to ask for extra help and be kind to yourself today especially. I’m no good at asking for help, but the truth is, most people love to help. These days will feel impossibly long and difficult but your lovely baby will be here soon, and you will have those lovely long sleepy baby snuggles to look forward to.

sending love and best wishes for a quick and safe arrival for baby.

xx

SNWannabe · 10/04/2023 13:52

It sounds like a really difficult time you've had @Winginitt and this is just the final straw. How far along are you? Are you post-dates yet? I had a vaguely similar time second baby, and actually managed to get my induction date moved ahead to after the EDD...then it still got delayed as I got sent home due to another mum having an emergency...so I lost my planned baby-sitter and was v v stressed.

lv884 · 10/04/2023 14:08

Aw OP, I feel for you. Sending positivity and thinking about you. Agree it’s good to get it all off your chest. But I know it’s easier said than done but try to relax (as much as possible!) as oxytocin is more likely help move things along but adrenaline won’t. Of course, we can still be totally chilled and still go overdue.

Winginitt · 12/04/2023 23:49

Thank you so much for your lovely replies. I actually did attend my CTG monitoring on Monday and told the midwife how I was feeling and she got me on to the delivery ward within half an hour and my baby boy was born that night. He is perfect and healthy and I had forgotten how amazing the baby bubble is. I carry a lock of my moms hair in a tiny little pouch which I had wrapped around my fingers for the whole thing, right to the very end. X

OP posts:
shieldmaiden7 · 13/04/2023 00:36

Massive congratulations lovely! Sorry you had a draining experience but I'm happy to read little man is here safe and well. Enjoy your baby bubble x

LBFseBrom · 13/04/2023 02:26

Congratulations, Wigginitt! That's marvellous news.

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