Hi MNers. I’m not even sure what this post is for I think sometimes a good old moan to strangers on the internet always helps.
STM - I haven’t had the nicest pregnancy, it’s been pretty painful and baby boy has poorly kidneys which really hasn’t helped my anxiety at all, for this reason, and the fact I have a child at home and limited childcare after losing my mom in January, consultant was really understanding I’d need to have a plan, I was booked to be induced yesterday. For the last 3 weeks I’ve tried everything to bring on labour naturally with no luck so I was really excited to get the ball rolling.
Called at 10am like I was instructed, midwife on call even said ‘ah is this my name?’ Got asked to go in for 1pm, was monitored and examined, 2 cm - which is odd considering I was 3 on Wednesday at my sweep but didn’t question it. Midwife said I can break your waters but procedure here is that we send you home and you go on a waiting list and we call you when there’s a bed available on the delivery ward, or I can give you a pessary as I do believe this will kick start labour naturally, so I opted for the pessary. That was inserted at 2:30, I started to contract almost instantly, they were a minute and a half together and lasting around 40 seconds, I was in tears due to the pain and was offered paracetamol and then codeine which didn’t touch the sides. All the time this was happening this midwife is saying things are working, labour is happening. Pessary was taken out at 7pm and I was given the most painful examination/sweep of my life and I had barely moved. Contractions were still painful but were fizzling out. Another midwife came to take the monitor off me and said she’d ‘eat her hat if she arrives at work in the morning and baby isn’t here’.
At 8pm the midwives had handover and just before 9 a new midwife came to introduce herself to tell me I had actually hyperstimulated because of the pessary and that I was not in labour. She said I’m on a list to have my waters broken but she couldn’t say when that would be and that it could literally be days. She wasn’t prepared to examine me and I needed no further monitoring so the advice was to just stay in hospital and wait to have my waters broken, no drip would be offered until my waters were broken either. It was coming up to 10pm, which meant visitors needed to go home and I was getting upset and anxious so asked if I could go home with DP, I was told that was fine, I can wait for the phone call to come in to have my waters broken but would need to return to hospital twice a day for CTG monitoring until then, she has booked me an appointment for today and instructed them to do the same tomorrow at my closest hospital (that unfortunately you can’t give birth at and is closer than an hour away like the other). So I’m well aware this could take days before they break my waters.
I’ve come home and got some sleep. I’ve been awake an hour maybe, not a single contraction. I feel utterly deflated. Yesterday was the most emotionally draining experience, I am home with no baby and feel like it was a total waste of time, my mental health isn’t the best anyway and I can feel myself becoming low over this. It’s the Easter holidays, everyone is due back at work tomorrow and now I could potentially be in a situation where I give birth alone, without DP because he may have to have DD if no one is available. Sorry for my long rant, I don’t know what else to do but to moan and sob today.