Mum has cancer while I’m pregnant

[Sadtiming]

Hello everyone,

I have realized that it’s high time to address here and ask for your advice.

I’m 22 weeks pregnant baby is doing well, which is a miracle in such a stressful situation.
Me & my husband live in the UK but mum dad sister in another country in Europe.

Mum has been fighting cancer for a year and something that was “if you have cancer this is the best one to have” turned to a hell. Very weak, bed bound, new treatment started soon- immunotherapy which we don’t know how she will respond.
On the top of this I have literally moved again with them to help leaving my husband behind but my dad has been abusive all my childhood and now watching him yelling at mum is killing me. Sister is older but not married bitter and became like my dad, my husband calls her selfish and genuinely don’t like her for many reasons she has been doing to me boyfriends in the past.
I feel like stuck in a hurricane, mum regretting everything in her life, all the time negative, pessimistic, hates taking pills, hates going to doctors, my dad is around but emotionally not available. He can’t care of her, as too selfish sister getting upset about everything so I literally needed to separate from my husband temporarily so I can cover for them. Relatives are calling and saying that when I’m here they feel relief …. As the way I look for her no one can.. which is upsetting me even more.

Im living in agony and scared for mum my marriage and my baby.
and probably should be the other way round scared for my baby marriage and mum don’t know… btw mum has been my best friend always but I think me moving abroad has affected a lot.. genuinely I have always supported her no matter what dad and sister not really… ahh

Firstly I am glad to hear your baby is doing so well. I lost my father during a pregnancy and my first born had significant health difficulties at the same time. It was very very stressful. I really worried about the impact it would have in my unborn child and he is now a healthy happy Normal 2 years old. My point is that the baby will be protected from what’s going on and will hopefully be just fine x
i am so sorry to hear your mum is very unwell, it sounds a nightmare with you being far away and her having a poor support system. I know you have to be there for her but at the same time
you can not be responsible for the behaviour of other people and you can’t change it.It’s also impossible to help people who do not want to help themselves. As harsh as it sounds should prioritise yourself and your own family

I’m so sorry for your loss :( I’m so glad your baby is a healthy two year old now.

My mum and me have been always emotionally so close and it’s so so hard to watch her go though this.
You are right I should prioritize my family but I know she will deteriorate if I leave..

In million years I would have never thought I would be put in a situation like this…

It’s so hard especially as she regrets her life, hates her marriage but I can do nothing about that. She is a mother and a wife everyone will wish for but not appreciated at all… by both of them