Scared of missed miscarriage - am I being silly?

[babymummy96]

Hiya everyone,

I had a miscarriage back in feb and if left me heartbroken. I was extremely lucky to fall pregnant again straight away and I am now 6 weeks.

I was in EPU at 5 weeks due to suspected ectopic due to very bad cramping, back pain and shoulder pain but when they scanned me, everything looked good.

I let myself get so worked up this week that I booked a private scan and everything had grown as it should and I could see a tiny little heartbeat which put my mind at rest for all of one day.

Ever since, I've been seeing posts and TikTok's about MMC and I am honestly petrified that it's going to happen to me, I just want to understand how common it is really.

Even though I know that I shouldn't this early, I've been trying my Doppler and obviously can't hear anything but my brain is telling me it's because something is wrong.

I'm just a paranoid mess tbh!!

This might sound insensitive and I really don't mean it to be. But whatever is going to happen is going to happen regardless of how much you worry about it. Try not to steal this happy time from yourself.
You've had 2 scans and everything is good. It doesn't seem like there's anything to worry about.

Anxiety is a terrible thing. My advice is to get busy. It will take your mind off the worry slightly and help time to move faster.

Get off TikTok and put the Doppler down (also because they’re really dangerous).

Anxiety is so intense during pregnancy, especially when you’ve previously experienced a loss - I’m sorry you went through that. Dopplers are never a good idea because you aren’t trained to use them so don’t find baby’s heartbeat, pick up yours by mistake or the sound of blood flow. Please stop using it and making yourself more upset. Stop watching those tiktoks too, either delete tiktok or skip that type of content/mark them as not interested to train your algorithm into giving you other types of videos.

Unfortunately with pregnancy there is a big element of taking a leap of faith, letting go and relinquishing control. We can’t control losses and it’s out of hands. We can’t have a scan everyday after all.

It might be worth speaking to your midwife at your booking in appointment about your anxiety and seeing if they can offer you support. There are also quite a lot of threads on this board about pregnancy after miscarriage where lots of other women are in a similar boat, so you might find it helpful to join in with those and speak to others going through similar. Best of luck with your pregnancy.

Sorry to hear you are so anxious ♥️
I had a MMC in May last year and fell pregnant before getting my period straight after. My baby is now 4 weeks and if I’m honest anxiety ruined my pregnancy. I look back now and really do regret not enjoying my pregnancy more. I appreciate hindsight is a wonderful thing and it’s easier to say with a baby in my arms, but like the other posters have said, please take comfort in the fact that you are pregnant now 🤍 and there is nothing so far to suggest you aren’t x

@Cdoc thank you. I'm so happy for you 🥰

If you don't mind me asking, how far along were you and did you have any signs at all?

I'm a paranoid mess! Lol xx

I can completely sympathise with pregnancy anxiety and tiktok has been a HUGE issue for me throughout. I would strongly advise identifying which hashtags are being used for the triggering content and then blocking them on the app. To do this, go to Settings and privacy > Content preferences > Filter video keywords (remember to include the # symbol). This has been a massive help for me. Remember, people are more likely to share their experiences if they are on the more extreme ends of positive or negative. For every scary story, there’s looooads of positive (probably pretty mundane in a good way) ones!

Regarding the Doppler, please please get rid of it. I understand why you got one, I really do, but they are super not recommended for a reason. Even my obstetrician couldn’t find the heartbeat with a medical grade Doppler at 9 weeks. It was all absolutely fine - I’m currently very round and bouncing on a yoga ball hoping labour kicks off soon!

You’ve had two good scans, so everything is heading in the right direction. Try and enjoy your pregnancy, and don’t hesitate to reach out to your midwife if you’re ever concerned about baby or generally want to discuss your anxiety. They may be able to provide some specialised support or extra reassurance ☺️

Get off tiktok.

Bin the Doppler.

Repeat to yourself, 'My body is a safe place for my baby'.

Do not ruin this time for yourself, you'll never get it back whatever happens.

If you need support for your anxiety, get it!

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

@Pickles91 thank you so much for your response, I'll take it all on board. Good luck with your labour, I hope everything goes well for you! Xx

@babymummy96 thank you ♥️I know very well that it feels like you will never get there.

I actually did have some signs, though the signs I had do not always mean miscarriage! I had brown spotting at 5 weeks, had a scan at 6.5 weeks and was measuring 5 days behind but with a heartbeat, so told everything was fine. Had more dark brown spotting for a week at 8 weeks, and confirmed on a scan at 9 weeks that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks. But in many cases brown spotting can be completely normal so it’s so hard to know.

Completely agree with the other posters, please enjoy your pregnancy, it’s such a special time and in hindsight being pregnant was such a blessing, enjoy it as much as you can (the good and the bad parts!).

Wishing you the absolute best and please keep us updated xx