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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Maternity leave

7 replies

Manitostreep · 02/04/2023 11:51

Can you ladies give me ideas please.

I am currently 38 weeks pregnant with third child and on maternity leave. I started mat leave in March. Husband and I share bills 50/50 but I still do most of house work and all. We have fought several times about him pulling his weight in the house, he will change for one day and back to his old way.

During this pregnancy I have been paying for cleaners as he said it’s a waste of money he refuses to pay the ladies and also does little or no house work. Little by putting a load of washing in the machine that I end up drying and putting away or wash dishes Saturday mornings and that’s it.

I have no income now, my husband still gave half of bills last month, I had a discussion with him Friday, this man want me to dip into my savings to pay my half, is this how it’s supposed to be?

I am not getting any pay, as I was agency worker, even SMP I am not entitled. I have zero income coming in, he works full time. Is asking him to leave extreme ? How can i deal with this?

l am already in it and learning my lessons, please be gently on me without insults.

OP posts:
viques · 02/04/2023 11:59

You are growing his child, you are risking damage to your own body to ensure that his genes are preserved and continue. (If he can’t see that then all you can hope for is that the nurture and nature you give your child will overcome the nature he has donated. )

Are you planning on returning to work? Start educating him now to understand that child care costs will be a shared expense. Though since this is your third child with this man I expect you have had the conversation.

Do not pay your “half” of any bills, you will need your savings when you kick him out.

38andtrying · 02/04/2023 11:59

He should defo be picking up more slack around the house snd while you're on maternity leave paying extra for bills etc so sorry you're worrying about this it's unfair

thegrain · 02/04/2023 12:02

Start invoicing him for your time

Original poster
Manitostreep · 02/04/2023 12:14

I will be returning to work, as this is happening I may return in about 3 months and take baby to daycare.

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 02/04/2023 12:18

Can you claim maternity allowance? It’s for those that can’t get SMP such as self employed. I’d look into that first.

Original poster
Manitostreep · 02/04/2023 12:31

I cannot claim maternity allowance, they informed me I have to pay myself as self employed that I should contact HMRC, I did and they said to contact maternity allowance team, it’s been exhausting.

I was working as agency nurse, I started agency June 2022, till left in march.
Has any agency nurse gotten maternity allowance?

OP posts:
PrimarilyParented · 02/04/2023 17:11

I wasn’t an agency nurse but an agency teacher and I qualified for maternity allowance. You’re not self-employed if you’re agency, you’re a temporary/contract worker. So you need it framed that way on the form I think. If you don’t file your own taxes each year as self-employed then you’re not self-employed. Sometimes self-employed people qualify for maternity allowance too, just at a lower rate.

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