Pregnancy anxiety - how to overcome?

[colourPink]

After TTC for 18 months me and my husband are finally pregnant! I am 14weeks + 3 days now and we're so excited as we've booked a private scan for 2 weeks time to find out the gender.

How do you cope with all the worry? I'm constantly convinced my baby's heartbeat has stopped. I know it's silly and we've seen the baby was healthy at our scan (plus x2 private ones before that because I've felt anxious) but I can't stop it.

I want to post on social media and share my excitement but I'm holding off as I'm still so worried something will happen. I would hate to have to announce we've lost it. I want to enjoy my pregnancy but the anxiety can get the better of me.

Even today, (I've started to show) I've been worried all day as my stomach has been hard all week. Felt like a real bump. But today it's all soft and squishy - why?

It's like I can be fine and then suddenly this anxious wave takes hold and I can't shake it! I feel my heart go and everything - as someone who's never been that anxious I'm finding this the hardest pregnancy symptom by far.

I'm trying to stay off Tik Tok as it seems that every other post is about loss/miscarriage and heart breaking sorties of still births etc.

Any advice?

First of all, massive congratulations! And you're already through the first trimester which is a major achievement in itself!

On the bump - I think I remember this when my bump first started showing with my first. I think it's very dependent on baby's position in the earlier days. As they get more cramped in there the bump will hold form more!

There are no easy answers for the anxiety. You sound like you're doing all the right things so far by avoiding toxic content etc. There are some lovely affirming mantras and pregnancy meditation type things on YouTube that can be nice. I found journalling helped. I would just write everything out and getting it on a page seemed to help me keep things in perspective - including confronting my worst fears at times and acknowledging that it would be horrendous but I would cope if needed. The truth is that there are a lot of unknowns in pregnancy and I think the complete lack of control is the hardest thing to deal with. But I try to live in the moment, celebrate each little win/milestone and just choose to keep trusting that all is going well.

Final note, pre-partum anxiety/depression is a thing too. If you're ever worried that it's all getting too much, do mention it to your midwife. There is fantastic mental health support for pregnant women - don't be scared to access it if needed.

Wish you all the best! 💓

I don't think extra scans help, they only reassure you briefly then you just feel more anxious until you have another.
If I were you I'd cancel the private one and just stick with the NHS checks, and agree chatting to your midwife is a good idea.

@SnookyPook thank you so much for your advice and kind words! I do have a pregnancy journal that I've been neglecting so perhaps I'll fill that in again 🙂

I've woken up this morning already feeling much better.

Perhaps you're right. I'll discuss with my husband and get his thoughts 🙂

I suffered with massive pregnancy anxiety after infertility and what helped me was:

• extra scans - yes they helped me hugely. It's trendy to say they don't help because traditionally reassurance feeds anxiety but with both my pregnancies the extra scans were a lifeline for me, and others I know.
• having a little mantra like, what will be will be, accepting that there's naff all you can do about what is going to happen with your baby, you just have to trust your body and theirs. Do your best to be healthy but surrendering to fate basically.
• mindfulness and breathing exercises, going for a walk outside, keeping busy

Congratulations @colourPink, what an exciting time! 💐

I was in your shoes last year and in hindsight, I let anxiety rob the joy of my pregnancy. I was worried if I let the world in, something bad would happen. It’s easier said than done but try to live in the moment rather than wishing the weeks away to get to your next milestone.

Some good advice here already. I’m on the fence about extra scans, they really helped me for about 24 hours then I was back to worrying and booking more scans for reassurance.

I was like this, I didn't tell everyone until after 20 weeks scan because I was so worried baby wouldn't make it. She's a healthy 4 year old now 🙂. Once you start to feel baby move your anxiety will start to fade, and then your baby will be born and you'll go back to worrying again 😅

So you can check out the different type of details about it, which will be really helpful in pregnancy. So you can choose it accordingly.