TTC after miscarriage - will things get better?

[LeahsLife]

Hi, I’m currently going through a miscarriage at 7 weeks pregnant. It’s been a week since the process started and I’m really struggling mentally. I feel as if I won’t feel better until I get pregnant again… then I feel guilty for thinking about being pregnant again when I’m not fully over this miscarriage.

Im just wondering, has anyone else felt this way? And if you have got pregnant again, did it make you feel better? (I know you will never forget the experience, I’m just hoping that this crippling feeling will disappear at some point)

Thank you x

I'm so sorry for your loss! It's a horrible thing to go through.
I had a MMC last year and all I wanted was to be pregnant again. I was very lucky to conceive again straight away, didn't even have a period in between. I then had lots of bleeding, crippling anxiety about losing the pregnancy again, was diagnosed with low PAPP-A, which gave me even more anxiety.
I'm now 30 weeks and it's all looking good so far 🤞 but it literally took me until the third trimester to find the trust and joy again that I had when I was pregnant with my daughter (4). I obviously wouldn't want to change anything now, I'm am so so happy and this current pregnancy has definitely now helped me put the miscarriage behind me. That being said, in the early stages I did wonder if I should have given myself more time to grieve and let my body heal a bit more. It was such a whirlwind and my anxiety was through the roof.
Ultimately, listen to your own heart and if you feel ready to try again straight away, go for it! All the best x

Hey, yes I felt exactly the same as you, I was so desperate to be pregnant again it was all I could think about. It took a month to get a negative test after too so the waiting was like torture! We started ttc again straight away and in a way that helped because it felt like we were doing something. It took 3 cycles to fall again so by then I was so ready to be pregnant and was able to get excited even with the anxiety! It definitely helped me move forwards being pregnant again, especially when I got to my first babies due date or events like Christmas. I’m 22 weeks now and although I still find the mc hard it doesn’t consume me everyday anymore. Look after yourself and I hope you get your lovely rainbow baby soon❤️

I'm sorry for your loss! Sending you lots of love❤️
I went through a miscarriage August of last year and I didn't find out until 12 weeks. AND I'd already announced it to all of my family. I cannot explain the disappointment, guilt and fear I went through! I cried for days and felt like it was the end of happiness for me.
Let me tell you that after your body has pushed off the remnants of this pregnancy, you will start to feel better! Thing will slowly fall back into place and you'll be yourself again. Mind you, you'll always have this loss in the back of your mind BUT you have to stay hopeful.
And guess what? After 6 weeks of bleeding and 2 regular periods, I fell pregnant again at new years and am now 13 weeks pregnant!
Please don't lose hope! Give yourself and your body time to recover and relax and before you know it, you'll be pregnant again and thriving!
Im here if you'd like to talk. ❤️

So sorry for your loss ❤️ I had a chemical with my first and was absolutely devastated, we had been trying for 17 months so thought it would be a long time before I'd get pregnant again, but it happened in my next cycle and I went on to have a healthy baby ❤️ if you feel you need more time to grieve before TTC again then take it, be kind to yourself x

I had a miscarriage around 7 weeks too. I felt really low for a few weeks. I was quite surprised how bad I felt. Got pregnant about 6 months later (but I was in my mid 30's). This may not be helpful, but that started another round of anxiety, as you can imagine, women often feel really paranoid about miscarrying again. I didn't, and having miscarried before doesn't mean its more likely, but you do worry. Do you have any friends who've experienced it OP? Would be good to talk to someone who has. Also, there is a support board on MN isn't there? You'll feel better soon OP, and don't feel guilty for wanting to be pregnant again. X

I fell pregnant 4 months after I miscarried. I’m not going to lie, my first thoughts when I saw the positive test was “fuck, I’m not sure I’m mentally ready to go through this again”.

DD is now 3 months old, but I had horrendous anxiety throughout the pregnancy and felt a mix of happiness at being pregnant, guilt over the one I lost and sheer terror. In hindsight I wish I’d done more to address it at the time rather than suffering in silence.

My DC is now 5. Conceived a couple of cycles after a mc.

I haven’t forgotten how rough that time was, but it’s not something I dwell on or think about very often now. I can’t imagine not having my specific DD so tend to think of it more that her birthday would be 3 months earlier than it is.

Definitely I was much more paranoid with her pregnancy than with my older DS.

I'm so sorry for you loss. Miscarriage is so very difficult and heartbreaking. I have had 3 losses and each one broke me a little more. After the first 2 losses I was keen to start trying again as soon as I'd had my 1st period after the losses but after my 3rd I needed more time to heal. The fear of another loss was too great for me.

I want to reassure you that reoccurring losses is not common. I have been one of the unlucky ones, however I am now 28weeks pregnant in my 4th pregnancy with a healthy baby boy.

I highly recommend looking for The Worst Girl Gang Ever on Instagram and Facebook (groups), they have an incredible community of women who have experienced baby/pregnancy loss and have been an invaluable support to me. They also have a podcast which is well worth listen.

Sending you lots of love and strength. Remember, time is a great healer so don't rush it. 💕