20 weeks pregnant and husbands behaviour

8 replies

E17Loulou · 30/03/2023 18:07

Hi all,

I am really struggling with how my partner is behaving recently. I’m 20 weeks with a very much longed for baby. My husband has been experiencing stress at work which has led to a lot of anxiety and bad sleep. He has been drinking more as a result, never at home, but if he’s out will have too much at the pub.
I was away with work yesterday and he called me in tears saying he was really down and anxious, when I got home we discussed how I can help and that he should cut out alcohol for a bit, he agreed and said it’s a massive trigger for his low feelings.
Today he went into the office, they are a boozey company and I asked that he please not go to the pub after work….and lo and behold he is in the pub. He has text me saying ‘I am on top of this and I will be home soon’ I just dont know what to do, he’s not helping himself and it’s causing me a lot of stress. I genuinely don’t know if I can trust him. I’m crying and then considering leaving for my dads. Does anyone have any advice?
thanks!

OP posts:

HappyintheHills · 30/03/2023 18:18

Your DP/DH is not looking after himself, and not letting you look after him.

You need looking after and he's made himself unavailable. Please let your dad look after you for a little while.

PritiPatelsMaker · 30/03/2023 19:40

Are you married @E17Loulou and whose house is it?

AllOfThemWitches · 30/03/2023 19:45

Go to your dad's.

Original poster

E17Loulou · 30/03/2023 19:56

We are married and co-own our flat. He is the best husband! I just don’t know what to do to help with this and it’s causing me so much upset!

OP posts:

PritiPatelsMaker · 30/03/2023 20:10

He is the best husband!

You are PG and crying and he's in the pub. I really don't think he is even taking into consideration how you feel. Sorry to be so blunt.

PritiPatelsMaker · 30/03/2023 20:12

And if you are married and co-own, please do not leave. It is in your interests to stay and ask him to leave.

I'd ask @MNHQ to move this over to the Relationship board as you'll get more advice on how to move forward and how to protect your rights.

FictionalCharacter · 30/03/2023 20:15

He really isn’t the best husband though, is he? A good husband wouldn’t do this.

SnookyPook · 30/03/2023 23:49

It sounds like his anxiety and drinking have got the better of him right now and are preventing him from being the best partner that you know he can be. Emotions are running high so I wouldn't make any snap decisions. Have you got a spare bedroom you could put him in? Or else go to your dads tonight and leave him a note saying that you really need to talk this over in the morning when he's sober and you're both in a better headspace. Would he be open to some counselling? Sounds like he's starting to use the alcohol in an unhealthy way and if he can't say no to it when he fully intended to then he is already a bit further down the path of full-blown problem. You obviously love him a lot and it's great you want to support him but he also has to want to help himself. These are the chats you need to be having. Sending you love and best wishes for getting through this.

Flip