To wonder if this is the norm for antenatal appointments?

[inky1991]

I'm a FTM, so have no idea if what I'm experiencing is how it's supposed to be.

I'm 36 weeks pregnant so have had a few antenatal appointments by now. Every single one has been over and done within 10 mins.

It's the same process every time. They check urine, do blood pressure and listen to baby's heartbeat. Then they send me on my merry way. I obviously have questions, and try to ask them at the end but I just feel like my questions aren't overly welcome. Be nice if the midwife said at the end "are there any concerns or questions I can help you with?"

I don't really feel like there's any support or help in me preparing for baby. I would have thought by now I'd be getting told about colostrum harvesting, signs of imminent labour etc.

I appreciate we all have google and friends, so I can find this stuff out for myself. I think I was just expecting a bit more from them? Maybe all the support and advice kicks in once baby is here though? 🤔

Can anyone tell me their experience?

That was roughly my experience pre COVID, so I can only imagine it's much worse now. The anti natal class was the only time I really got to ask any questions. Not a huge amount of support after birth either, so I wouldn't count on it.

Did you get the big purple book? It's actually pretty helpful.

They expect you to go to classes like NCT so they don't need to answer any questions as you have been given answers already, and when they ask you about your "birth plan" you would have completed already.

That sounds normal based on my experience. Antenatal classes are where you will learn about preparing for labour. Does your NHS trust offer birth preparation classes?

Sounds about right, all the antenatal classes (either nhs or private like nct) will cover everything else in detail.

I make mine last longer. I tell them I need to know these things and ask questions. My trust doesn't run antenatal classes post covid and after my first pregnancy ended in loss I wasn't going to pay a fortune for the trauma of antenatal classes with excited first time parents.

But by 36 weeks they should at least have discussed signs of labour and when to call the hospital. All the other stuff about colostrum harvesting, pain relief options I had to ask. I wrote it down and then got the paper out so she knew there were a few questions coming and to make time for me to ask them.

The community midwife team where I live are all straight out of uni and very “green”, I told my GP it was like walking into a sixth form centre. Apparently there has been a problem in the area. I asked about pain relief options and was told to Google it… My previous experience (during Covid) was better.

Ask them if you can have an extra appointment (without all the tests) so that you ca through all your questions. They told me about NHS antinatl classes which I went to and also had a hospital tour which actually have a lot of info about the birth and medications. If either of those haven't been offered I'd definitely ask about them.

Yeah I was offered antenatal classes but they are all via zoom still, which just didn't really appeal to me. I actually wanted to meet people and have interaction. Definitely can't afford NCT classes

I'm definitely not clueless about having a baby, I spend my spare time googling the hell out of everything and mumsnet is a godsend.

I was more just trying to understand whether I have a right to feel a bit miffed. I'm guessing by responses, I don't. Completely fair enough!

Mine were the same. I hardly saw the same midwife twice and my 'birth plan' was a discussion that was pointless.
Take it as a positive sign they have no concerns because if there was something wrong im sure it would be much different. Xx

Yeah, the appointments were all pretty much the same but my midwife was lovely and I never felt like I couldn't ask her questions or like I was being rushed or whatever. I did get told about colostrum harvesting at some point, I can't remember when though, sorry. It was close to the end though. I went to a birth prep class at my local midwife led unit at 30 odd weeks pregnant (my midwife at the antenatal appointments told me they ran these and to book on) and it was there they told me what to do when I went into labour and what to expect, etc. Does your hospital offer anything like that? It was really helpful. I also did an online birth prep class which was really informative also, so maybe see if you can find anything like that for some extra info? Good luck, 36 weeks, you're nearly there!

I think you should go to the antenatal classes by zoom as there's no real alternative. Then you can ask questions and hear what others have to say. Don't dismiss this as a source of information

Yes that’s my experience. Do the zoom classes or NCT. You can also find online classes through the baby academy.

Sorry about your experience @inky1991 . In my last pregnancy 3 years ago my community midwife was brilliant. The appointments were 20-30min I think, we talked about lots of stuff and I could ask loads of questions. I'm hoping for the same this time round, but different GP surgery now so we'll see.

Had actually just come on to say that I did this in lockdown and found it useful. It’s free, it’s two hours of your life and there is a chance for Q&A if you have any specific questions

https://yourbabyacademy.com/uk/free-online-workshop/

I know that you want to meet people but unless you do NCT, the choices are non existent in my area. Also I know you want to meet people but my NCT class don’t talk any more and weren’t that helpful when I was struggling as a FTM. Appreciate that’s not everyone’s experience but it might not be the positive you think it is to actually meet in groups.

I agree you should have gone to the zoom antenatal classes. Mine were really thorough, discussed signs of labour, colostrum harvesting, breast/bottle feeding, and really useful info about what services are like at the local hospital. I learnt so much! So I didn't really have any general questions like that to ask the midwife. Yeah zoom is not ideal for making friends, but the main point of antenatal classes is to teach you stuff, and the friends are a perk on the side!

You need to do the zoom classes, this is where they go over everything and give you the information you need. I felt they were helpful.
I had DD post covid and NCT advertised in person groups, then 2 weeks before decided to make them zoom meetings. So I got my money back and did the NHS ones

OP you say “I would have thought by now I'd be getting told about colostrum harvesting, signs of imminent labour etc.” but then later on you say that you didn’t want to join the antenatal classes as they were via zoom.

The antenatal classes my nhs trust offered for free via zoom were excellent. They went through all of the above that you mentioned and there was so much opportunity for questions on the zoom classes, and also via email after. Definitly worth you getting on these courses if you can!!

My midwife appointments were as you described.

Had a similar experience. Was in and out of all midwife appointments. Think we did a rough 'birth preferences' at around 38 or 39 weeks. I did feel able to ask questions though and would sometimes take a list in my notes of things I had wanted to ask - always found the midwife to be helpful and take time to explain things to me

Also I did some online courses via baby academy and other midwives on Instagram about caring for a new baby, pain relief in Labour, induction etc. found them invaluable especially the ones ran by midwives (most were free too!)

Absolutely normal for me. I can’t say much support kicked in when baby arrived, either… I had one amazing midwife, but she was only allowed to come until baby was discharged to HV. Otherwise it’s mostly just advice!

I did do the NCT. It’s a bit one sided, although at least you get info, I suppose. And the community was absolutely worth it, we still meet as a group of eight pretty much weekly 15 months down the line. I think I may have lucked out, there! I’d maybe try some of the local Zoom style courses, if your hospital offers them, just to see if you gel with anyone.

You'll be okay. You do figure it out.

Ok thanks everyone, looks like I need to book onto zoom antenatal classes asap!

I think the main reason for me not being keen on doing it (apart from it being via zoom) is cause I'm having a planned c section, and antenatal classes seem to mostly be about vaginal birth

This was not my experience at all, though I was with the Home Birth team. Appointments were 30/45 mins and I was encouraged to ask as many questions as possible! Saw the same midwife for almost every appointment too. Sorry to hear about your experience.

I remember feeling similar at a similar stage of pregnancy. That was during COVID, but we were offered nothing by way of antenatal classes and although I did do NCT, I still felt worried about the actual birth as there was no sense of a plan. My birth was a shambles! The midwives were lovely but yes, it would be nice if someone asked you what your preferences were!

The midwife is offering you a medical appointment to check on you and your babies physical wellbeing. It's on you really to sign up to anti natal classes.

My nhs antenatal coveted induction, c section. Half the ladies on my course were scheduled for a c section or induction by a certain date and asked questions accordingly. I really would join!!