Mixed feelings about this pregnancy

[JM0934]

Hi All, please can you be kind and give me some reassurance.

I just found out I’m pregnant with my second. It’s planned but it’s happened VERY fast. This is literally our first month of trying so I’m still in shock and not mentally prepared.

I thought I would be happy but since I’ve found out, I’ve just been crying the whole time. I feel really guilty to my daughter. I love her so much and I can’t imagine not giving her 1000% of my love and attention to her ( I know what you are thinking, we put ourselves into this situation, got no one else to blame ).

I feel like we’ve now had our life back. My daughter has such a good routine and sleeps perfectly throughout the night. I know the newborn baby, the lack of sleep stage won’t last forever but it still worries me. I don’t know what the bedtime routine will look like again, my husband works nights so he’s not here; How am I going to cope with a toddler and a baby on my own? Who should I put to sleep first?

The only good thing is that my daughter will be at nursery for 3 full days a week when the baby comes.

Please can someone who’s been through this give me some advice and reassurance. How do you get over this guilty feeling and worrying? I’m the only child in my family so I’ve never experienced any feelings of having a sibling (I think that’s also why I wanted a second, I don’t want my daughter to grow up alone).

Thank you so much.

I was similar. It took us a long time to conceive first time round and then second time it happened first go! I had similar concerns to you and also felt guilty for my first. That pregnancy ended in a MC and although it sounds cliche it made me realise how much I wanted another baby and a sibling for my DD. My youngest is now 6 months old and although it’s hard with 2 I’m overwhelmingly really happy with my complete family. Of course you feel guilty sometimes about the time you get to spend with them both but you feel guilty no matter what you do as a mum!

I've had mixed feelings with all 3 of my planned, wanted babies. It passed, pipped up again at the end of of pregnancy and then I had my cute little babies so that didn't last too long either. It's just your minds way of handling what's going on and doesn't mean anything.

Don't feel bad for your daughter she will love having a sibling, just try and keep her involved, let her help you bath baby etc. Mine are 4 and 2 and they get on so well. Yours will have a really nice age gap, close enough that they will be able to play together, and your older one will be old enough to understand that sometimes you'll have to see to the babies needs first and she will want to help. I was not at all excited about my second pregnancy, I was so worried about how I'd cope and how it would effect my older child, but I honestly could not imagine life without him now ❤️ I'm pregnant again and my oldest is so excited to meet the new baby it's all she talks about