No Attatchment

[Lanie03]

Hi,
this is my first pregnancy, I’m only 19 however I’ve had multiple miscarriages in the past so I’m just worried if miscarrying again. However I’ve had my 8 week scan and I still have no attachment, like I am happy I’m pregnant but I’m just worried , the baby’s father doesn’t want to be involved either so I’m even more scared to be doing this on my own.
Ive read and heard about other women feeling this attachment feeling towards their baby from the minute they took the test but I’m scared I won’t get this attachment. Is this normal or should I speak to my midwife about this? I have been hesitant because of my partners past and I ( abusive ) we have social services involved already so I don’t want to give them more of a reason to think I’m going to be an unfit mum :(

It's very normal, especially if you've had losses and a stressful relationship.

Don't panic, don't add worry. The Hollywood picture of mums stroking their tummies and smiling is bollocks. I didn't even feel it WHEN DD was born. It took a while. Now, I would fend of hungry tigers to protect her. But I was quite meh in pregnancy.

Your mood is important though. Your living situation. All good there?

I didn't bond at all with DC2 until she arrived safely and was in my arms. I was bonded throughout my pregnancy with DC1 then when he arrived I refused to believe he was my baby for weeks and had to be referred to a charity to help with bonding. I don't think there's necessarily a connection between how you feel right now and how you'll feel when baby arrives.

It sounds as though you have a lot going on in your life at the moment which is probably having an impact on how you feel about your pregnancy and baby.
It might be worth asking your midwife if you could be referred to a perinatal mental health service for support - the area I work in offers support for pregnant women up until their baby is 1 and many people benefit from having someone to speak to about how they are feeling.

Very normal! I had a miscarriage and felt that way at the beginning. But once I past the 12 week stage I felt so much better. I also started talking to my tummy in the bath, felt silly at the beginning but I felt it helped the bond.

also - even when she was born, sometimes you don’t feel that overwhelming love everyone talks about in the movies. Sometimes it takes a while to develop the more you get to you know your little human!

good love sweetheart and be kind to yourself x

I refused to even believe I was pregnant till I had my 13week scan, so there was no "bonding" in the beginning. Now I'm 37 weeks and this baby is already my whole life.
You are still so early on I wouldn't worry about anything like that! Just take your prenatal vitamins and get ready for your 12 week scan, it will feel a lot more real after that! Or just wait till they're booting you awake at 3am 😂

And congrats 💖

Luck*

Totally and completely normal. Don't worry! X

Don’t give it another thought. I was crazy busy when pregnant, trying to finish a big project before I went on leave, and commuting internationally on a weekly basis. I don’t honestly think I really thought at all about my pregnancy, certainly not my baby, until pretty late on. That pregnancy is now a wonderful almost eleven year old.

Please try not to worry OP, it's all completely normal 💖 when you've experienced loss, it's hard to imagine that things will work out.
I lost my son in my first pregnancy quite late on, and when I was pregnant with my rainbow baby I never really felt bonded to her like I did to my son.
She was born via elective c-section and when I heard the doctor say 'she's coming out now' I cried and cried with pure love streaming out of me.
You may find you feel a bit disconnected when little one arrives too, and that again is normal. I felt like I wasn't bonding with my daughter and at times I worried she didn't like me (I feel so stupid for this now). She's not a perfectly healthy 7.5 month old and we have the BEST bond. I'm 100% her favourite human, and she lets me know by climbing into my lap for a cuddle, giving me a kiss (well, sucking my cheek), and she only really wants me. The bond is there, even if you don't feel it right now. That little baby adored their mummy already. Lots of love xxx

Should say she's now a healthy 7.5 month old 🤦🏼‍♀️