Early pregnancy anxiety

[KIWI2023]

Hi ladies (& gents),

I have recently found out I am pregnant and I am still very early. The day we found out DH & I were completely overjoyed. This baby is very much wanted and planned for.

My issue is I now can't shake the fear that something will go wrong and I will lose the baby. This is my first pregnancy so I have never personally experienced loss but it has been recurrent for many family members so I have seen it first hand.

The anxiety of this is genuinely overwhelming me and I feel so tearful but I don't know what to do. I feel so silly as I know there's no point in worrying as it won't change any outcomes either way but I just can't shake it. It's too early to speak with midwife as I haven't had my booking appointment yet and I can't go for an early scan for another few weeks.

Just wanted to support or advice from those of you who may have been here before x

@KIWI2023 I am also feeling like this this time around. Same as you too early for a scan and I am worried my age is more against me this time. Trying to stay away from Google x

I absolutely know that feeling, I have never lost a baby but I felt so lucky to be pregnant, I honestly thought I can't be this lucky. I was convinced that there wasn't going to be a heart beat or I was going to loose the baby. I had bad anxiety. You just want to enjoy being pregnant but you can't cos you feel like somethings going to go Wrong. Can you speak to your midwife and bring it up with them? Mine are 15 & 11 now so obvs my pregnancy's were all fine

Sorry didn't see midwife boy, as you as you have a midwife bring it up to them

Just wanted to say I think it’s completely normal. You just have no idea people are feeling like this as by the time they talk to you about their pregnancy they’re 12 weeks, it’s all a distant memory and they’re just talking about the scan or how sick they felt. I’m due #2 and have felt exactly like this with both. I almost feel like it was worse this time as I felt I’ve already been lucky once, so what are the chances I get it so straightforward again?

All you can do is take it one step at a time. I found booking an early scan was my way through it. I went at 6 and a half weeks so that was my first thing to focus on and count down to. Of course I went in assuming there would be nothing there but was so relieved to see a heartbeat. I then had a second early scan this time at 9 and a half weeks, I just had one last time but it felt like the longest wait until 12 weeks. All you can do is arrange little trips or things to take your mind off it and hopefully you will breeze through the first trimester and it will all be a distant memory soon! 😊 I joined a thread on here for my due date month both times and it was SO active at the start as it’s the only people you can really talk to about it

@Tryingtoconceivenumber2 it's so odd isn't it. I'm sorry to see you're here feeling the same as me. So soon after we have both left the TTC thread too. 🤍 I have no reason to think there's anything wrong at this point so nothing to google. I just this I can't believe I have been so lucky to fall pregnant so quickly and I feel so so grateful and protective and in love already. I just never expected to feel anxious as soon as I was here xx

@Anothernewname13 that's how I feel also on #2 and all was well last time. Did you have an abdominal scan of the trans vaginal if you don't mind me asking? Thanks

Thank you @Unicornsparkle1000 it's so good to hear your children arrived safe and sound😊 that's exactly how I feel. I have my first midwife appointment booked for 25th April so as soon as I can speak to them I will x

@KIWI2023 you should be able to call them at any time if you need to. Hopefully this will pass over and as the weeks go by we will feel less anxious x

@Anothernewname13 I'm so grateful that I have this support. I would love to book an early scan but I am terrified that by booking an early scan I will "jinx" myself as ridiculous as that is (trust me, I know that's silly).

Im going to bite the bullet and book a scan for the weekend after next and then just see what happens. Every day that I wake up still pregnant I am truly so grateful and would take any side effect to keep this pregnancy safe.

Just wish I could fast forward abit so I felt safer ❤️

Firstly, congratulations!

I am in the same situation as you. 5-6 weeks pregnant and first pregnancy. The anxiety has slightly eased since we first found out but any cramp/twinge and I start to worry. You are not alone, and many of us on here share the same fears.

I keep telling myself everyday the risk of mc is reducing, and is a day closer to getting a scan.

I've booked an early scan in 2 weeks time which should ease the anxiety too. Have you thought about having one?

Apart from that I am trying to keep busy and keep my mind off worrying although it is hard.

I was exactly the same with my first. I found it really helpful to keep a pregnancy journal. I would write down any thoughts, worries etc and also 'talk' to baby and to try and enjoy each day for what it was ("you're the size of a raspberry now! This week you are growing your xxx... Some of your little cousins never made it further than this but if you can keep growing you've got a little cousin here waiting to meet you...") It really helped me. I would also write down my worries about losing it etc and how I would cope (or not). It just helped me put the pregnancy into perspective somehow and gave me little milestones to write about.

Pregnancy - especially the first trimester - is such a uncertain time and it's completely normal to feel anxious etc. As you say though, none of your worrying can actually change any outcome that might occur. Once I embraced that lack of control I actually found it a bit easier. I focused on doing some pregnancy yoga (Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube is great - she has a few pregnancy specific videos!) and just tried to work on being as healthy and happy as I could be each day. I also like watching the weekly progress videos on YouTube to see what baby is up to each week they are in there.

I'm currently just over 8wks with no.2 and in that awful phase of just not knowing how things are going in there! Not having an early scan so trying to practice being in the moment each day again and trusting that if this little baby is the one for us, in a few months they will be in my arms.

Wishing you all the best!

Your feelings are really normal and perfectly valid because pregnancy loss is unfortunately very common.

It might help you to repeat mantras like, "Today I am pregnant" when you're feeling particularly vulnerable.

Go for the early scan if you really want to and remember that it's a snapshot in time. In my first pregnancy, I had an early scan and all was well and then I had a mmc at 9 weeks. However, I've gone on to have 2 more healthy pregnancies since then. The odds are usually in your favour!

Congratulations!

@Tryingtoconceivenumber2 everyone I spoke to on here seemed to have the internal one but I managed to avoid it last time as I had a full enough bladder just to get the normal ultrasound so I went again this time fully expecting I’d need an internal one but just drank plenty of water and managed to see fine with the normal ultrasound again! 😊

Also a statistic that I started to try to remember was that it seems to be 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in miscarriage, not necessarily to 1 in 4 people if I’m correct. So unfortunately this means it’s often the same people who have multiple miscarriages, for medical reason or even unknown reasons. I think this is why the odds are so high but really that’s the odds of all pregnancies, not of each woman’s pregnancy. It doesn’t make the statistic any less tragic unfortunately but I did try to cling onto that as it maybe made it less likely to happen to me as selfish as that may sound 😔

@Anothernewname13 thanks for your reply. I will try that then. I absolutely do not want the other type, I have cervical ectophy and bleed after a smear so I just don't want the stress and doubt of any bleeding as I would definitely bleed after that x