3rd baby noone seems happy

[toxitears181]

So i found out im having my third albe it was a shock to me and my partner as had my second son in july 2022 however i told my parents and they seemed shocked and said oh for god sake woman why not wait and then said my bf should tie a knot in it im very hormonal atm which is normal but im upset at there reactions am i being over the top or would anyone else feel like i do it has annoyed me more because my brother has 3 kids and they said nothing about that also my parents have 3 kids and they say things like this to me! xx

This must be really difficult especially if you are super excited you want to share that with everyone and it's your life and your body to do whatever you see fit with.
As long as you and your partner are happy, ignore the rest!
When are you due lovely?

Thankyou for your lovely reply im due in November xx

You should join the Due in November Thread going! Might help with a bit of positivity!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/4747688-due-november-2023?page=38&reply=124782016

Jeeze. I am due in October with my third. My son was born in February 2022. I will be pissed off if that is the reaction I get! As long as you are happy ignore.

Yeah as long as you and partner happy it doesn't matter. I got pg with baby 4 and I just heard a lot of negatively but it affects noones life only yours and its lovely news congratulations!

Congratulations!
and at least you don’t have to let them come round for baby cuddles!

Bf should tie a knot in it.
What dad you mean like the knot you tied in yours - not?!
Congratulations OP.

I had basically no reaction from anyone except disappointment, for both my first and my second (aged 19 and aged 20). I think one whole person said congratulations. I'm much older now having my third and people say it as soon as they find out. I'm sorry that your loved ones didn't share the joy with you. I hope they warm to the idea as things progress. x

@toxitears181 Congratulations! How are you feeling?

That's not very nice of them, I'd keep them out of the baby loop until they can be kind and excited for your new arrival.

If they say anything else unkind simply reply with.

We see this baby as a blessing like the other too and we love the baby so much already.

That should stop them in their tracks x

We had this with our third. My response was speak for yourself (they'd had 6 children) and that we were over the moon. Tell them how happy you are.

This is my first baby with my boyfriend and his parents have only just asked how I am (a week before im due) the rest of the time they have ignored the fact I’m pregnant or that I exist and have been horrible to my partner about it.

Sadly you can’t control those around you but as a mum I feel protective and am going to keep a bubble around me and only those that matter are in that bubble. I’m not going to forget how people made me feel and they won’t be that involved once I have my baby.

I was quite young with first (21) so got No congratulations just shock. Second was better as I think people were expecting it. Third I was older (39) and was back to the shock. Was married and settled for all 3.

Is there any reason their reaction may be through concern for you?

Things like, Are you struggling with the 2 you have already? Any concerns about your partner? Are you struggling financially/emotionally? Are you quite young to have 3 children and close in age? Is your health ok, anything that could make pregnancy risky or being a parent harder? Do you rely on them a lot for childcare or other support?

My friends daughter is pregnant with her third, she had her first at only 21 so very young, she’s only 26 now so still very young to soon have 3 kids, her and her partner are not in a great place financially and she has ADHD/ASD which have impacted on her parenting and she does rely on my friend a lot. When she said she was pregnant again, my friend did say congrats but she is very concerned about how she’ll cope and how much more will be expected of her. Inside, she was thinking what your parents said aloud. 😬 So maybe your parents are just worried?

Obviously if you’re breezing through parenting, your circumstances are very different to my friends daughter and you don’t rely on your parents much, it’s really not their place to say anything.

Do you ask them to babysit OP? Or do you struggle for money? I'm going against babe grain here and saying that maybe they feel that you're making your life more difficult than it needs to be? I had two under two and I nearly lost my mind, it killed my relationship and my credit rating is still shot. I love my son and all but it's not for the faint hearted. My friend has a similar age gap but one with quite challenging behaviour linked to ASD and she can't take them both out on her own even now (eldest is six). Pretty much all mums of six or more that I know have had to give up employment, I'm sure there are some that manage it, but nursery bills will be huge. I paid for three days nursery for two of mine and it was often over £2K per month. It's something to consider.
Congratulations though and maybe your circumstances are wildly different to mine. No one was really happy for me (pregnant on my firsts first birthday!) although they weren't as vocal as yours. Knowing how hard I found it, I feel like they weren't negative but realistic that my life was going to be ridiculously hard for a few years. And it was!

Six?? I meant to say 3!