My husband and I have been TTC for over 2 years however our sex life has been getting progressively worse. I’d say we average sex twice a month, maybe three at a push.
I love my husband to pieces and he does me however his mum passed away 6 years ago which affected him a lot and he clearly suffers from stress and anxiety. He says the pressure of TTC puts him off having sex even more.
We’ve spoken about it a lot and he knows how important having a family is but his only solution to being less stressed with work is to work more and to leave him to it. I’ve tried to discuss going to the doctor with him to speak about his lack of libido but he’s not interested. In fact he’s so busy and stressed with work he’s not gotten round to registering with a GP despite moving house 9 months ago. Similar story to most of his other life admin which he can’t prioritise over work. We’ve spoken about him getting a less stressful job but he doesn’t want to give up on his career. I feel pretty trapped in my own job as would like to change firms but can’t because of the maternity leave policy would not kick in for 2 years.
I’ve been using ovulation trackers and so he knows roughly when I’m ovulating and seems to find a reason to come to bed really late those nights or have something he has to do on his phone. The times we do have sex when I’m ovulating we’ll maybe manage to do it once and if I try and suggest doing it again the next day, there’s no chance.
We are in our 30’s, my cycle is over 35 days and varies quite a lot so maybe it’s not going to happen naturally for us but I feel too embarrassed to go to the NHS and ask for IVF when we are lucky to have sex twice a month, surely that is the first thing they ask?
Anyway, I feel pretty lonely and sad constantly seeing friends get pregnant after trying for a few months. A few close friends know we are TTC but I find the no sex bit hard to talk about.
Just looking for advice really from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.