Terrified after BFP

[CaffeinatedLondoner]

Hey all, I'm new here but don't really have any friends I can confide in about this -
I'm almost 32, have a great job, am studying full-time for another postgrad degree, married, and we own our home. But, I unexpectedly got a BFP 2 days ago and I haven't stopped panicking. I mean, big, breathless anxiety panic.
I feel ridiculous being in the situation we're in and thinking 'I don't think I can do this'. Kids were on the agenda in the future but I can't imagine doing it just now. However, when I was 25 I got an abortion (I was with my husband then, too) and it was so traumatic, I similarly don't know if I could do that again.
Added stress is we have a one bed flat...nightmare. Should I let the prospect ruminate for longer before making a decision? Does everyone feel like this after an unexpected BFP?!

I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 37, I already have 2 children, good job, married… I absolutely panicked. I left it a few weeks to decide what we were going to do and started to calm down and became excited about it. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 10 weeks and I was devastated. I didn’t get over it, so we decided to go for a third. I’m now 38 and 17 weeks pregnant. I felt terrified once again when I got my bfp 😂 it’s a normal reaction, even those who have been trying for ages get second thoughts when reality hits, especially with the cocktail of hormones racing through your body. Give yourself some time to let it sink in and adjust x

@Nik84 thank you so much for replying (and congratulations!).
Everything you are saying makes sense, and I'm certainly feeling that hormone cocktail lol. I'm going to let it settle in for a while longer, and I have a call with my GP tomorrow which I hope might help a little🙏

@CaffeinatedLondoner Forgot to add, when we had our first we lived in a 2 bed flat but we didn’t even use the second bedroom until they were over 2, so you have plenty of time.

@Nik84 thank you so much for your reassuring words, I really appreciate it as I honestly didn't know who to talk to ❤

With my first we used to live in rented one bed top floor flat in London, but never once thought not having baby because we didn't have it all. If you wait for everything to be perfect, it never will plus you may find yourself on late 30s struggling to conceive, you never know. Now with 2 young teenagers I'm in my surprise pregnancy at 42 and yes we have our own house, live in nice area up north, things are way better and relaxed for us now. However life is never perfect, some problems go the others come, there will be always some doubts.

Hi OP, I hope you're okay 💙
I can't speak from the experience of an unexpected BFP, however we planned for our baby and fell pregnant after about 5 months of trying. I still absolutely panicked when I saw that BFP which shocked me because we'd been planning and it was all I wanted! Unfortunately we lost him at 33 weeks 💔 we then tried again, and the same thing happened that I went into panic mode when I fell pregnant with our rainbow baby! Both times the panic eased after a few weeks. I think it's just the realisation that life will change really dramatically is scary. Best of luck to you xx

Oh @Littlelighthouse I'm so, so sorry to hear about your loss. That is unimagineable grief 💔
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment here, you wouldn't believe how helpful it is to hear. I joined Peanut hoping to find pregnant people with similar experiences upon seeing their BFP and I just felt like it was seas and seas of super excited mothers- and fathers-to-be. I felt like so abnormal.
Thanks again for taking the time, and sending you love xx

Hi ladies, thanks so much for posting when I reached out. Unfortunately, my MH has really declined with this over the last week or so and I've decided to end the pregnancy. I think, more than anything, I didn't expect the ending of my medication and the pregnancy hormones would result in a resurgence of my MH condition in such an extreme way. I still can't thank you all enough for reaching out with your words of support - I felt very isolated and your messages were really needed ❤️ so, thanks again. Xx